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Call me a virginal cynic!
BE WARNED!!! - im going to rant... and if u want to read i would apreancate all coments... tell me why im wrong people
... no-one seems to be able to offer anyone any real help. in the long run i guess my tale is the usual schpeel of "i want a girlfrend" that u get from people my age and situation, but trolling through these bordes everyone seems to just offer advice along the lines of "People will like you if u change in this way" or "trick them by doing this" kinda thing...
anywho, the rant begins
I have had one soding terrible evning.
Im a 3rd year student who has not made many firends in uni, and what frends i have made have been the kind of "i know you because you know so and so" kind of things. Im quite a lonesum chappy but keep a brave face on it and stupidly live in a happy land of optemisem of maby oneday i shall meet somone interesting, christ knows how and suchlike, but maby one day.
But as ive said, ive had a terible evning. That Virgin diarys programs been on and one of the people on it braught aloda people over to our house to watch it... As a 21 year old virgin of the male and awquardly aflicted by a strange sence of morals persuasion, i've hidden in my room to avoide the whole "im the only person in this room watching a program about people 3 - 5 years younger than me having sex" thing...
Its a kinda strange feeling i get that if ever im in a group conversation about sex with anyone that I havent known for over 2 years, If i venture any sort of coment they will all stand up and point screaming "WHAT WYOULD YOU KNOW HIDIOUSLY PATHETIC VIRGIN BOY!" i know this to be total guff, no1 would ever do that, but still i cant get that feeling out my head.
It seems realy vapid to be saying "ooh im old and still a virgin at 21 and dont want to be, HELP". I think the thing is, being a virgin is not the problem, its the "EVERYONE ELLSE ISNT" factor and then the "whats wrong with me, am i weird or just completely un-likeable" (somthing this rant probably pooves).
Also i have the problem of everyone in uni always seems so empty... sweeping genralisationg i know, but everyone likes the same films, the same books, and god knows everyone likes the same old student music (im a music student myself so this is my very own personal peeve). its not so much that i have a problem with people not liking what i like... but its the not even cairing about things enough to explore them that gets to me... and i cant let this go
its at the stage of life that everyone i live with in falling into pretty comited long term relationships and im just lagging behind everyone ellse. and because i cant seem to make freinds i have no1 ellse to go and socialise with. i meen sure, theres alot of people i "know" but i realy feel that they only spend any time with me because its uni and we have to do some groupwork, or at least, why would anyone want me as a friend or a social buddy when theres so many better people that they already know.
ok so i have been ranting but i need some way of geting this off my chest... im trying not to sound all self pitious... but... thats the kinda gist of it... I know exactly the reasons i cant socialise/meet people/find love are utter rubbish... but still i cant let them go and go out and do the afore mentioned social activiatys.
yer... thats it realy... sorry for timewasting but i need a good rant. feel free to tell me if im being too selfcentered
taa
px, sorry for spelling, mental disorder.
... no-one seems to be able to offer anyone any real help. in the long run i guess my tale is the usual schpeel of "i want a girlfrend" that u get from people my age and situation, but trolling through these bordes everyone seems to just offer advice along the lines of "People will like you if u change in this way" or "trick them by doing this" kinda thing...
anywho, the rant begins
I have had one soding terrible evning.
Im a 3rd year student who has not made many firends in uni, and what frends i have made have been the kind of "i know you because you know so and so" kind of things. Im quite a lonesum chappy but keep a brave face on it and stupidly live in a happy land of optemisem of maby oneday i shall meet somone interesting, christ knows how and suchlike, but maby one day.
But as ive said, ive had a terible evning. That Virgin diarys programs been on and one of the people on it braught aloda people over to our house to watch it... As a 21 year old virgin of the male and awquardly aflicted by a strange sence of morals persuasion, i've hidden in my room to avoide the whole "im the only person in this room watching a program about people 3 - 5 years younger than me having sex" thing...
Its a kinda strange feeling i get that if ever im in a group conversation about sex with anyone that I havent known for over 2 years, If i venture any sort of coment they will all stand up and point screaming "WHAT WYOULD YOU KNOW HIDIOUSLY PATHETIC VIRGIN BOY!" i know this to be total guff, no1 would ever do that, but still i cant get that feeling out my head.
It seems realy vapid to be saying "ooh im old and still a virgin at 21 and dont want to be, HELP". I think the thing is, being a virgin is not the problem, its the "EVERYONE ELLSE ISNT" factor and then the "whats wrong with me, am i weird or just completely un-likeable" (somthing this rant probably pooves).
Also i have the problem of everyone in uni always seems so empty... sweeping genralisationg i know, but everyone likes the same films, the same books, and god knows everyone likes the same old student music (im a music student myself so this is my very own personal peeve). its not so much that i have a problem with people not liking what i like... but its the not even cairing about things enough to explore them that gets to me... and i cant let this go
its at the stage of life that everyone i live with in falling into pretty comited long term relationships and im just lagging behind everyone ellse. and because i cant seem to make freinds i have no1 ellse to go and socialise with. i meen sure, theres alot of people i "know" but i realy feel that they only spend any time with me because its uni and we have to do some groupwork, or at least, why would anyone want me as a friend or a social buddy when theres so many better people that they already know.
ok so i have been ranting but i need some way of geting this off my chest... im trying not to sound all self pitious... but... thats the kinda gist of it... I know exactly the reasons i cant socialise/meet people/find love are utter rubbish... but still i cant let them go and go out and do the afore mentioned social activiatys.
yer... thats it realy... sorry for timewasting but i need a good rant. feel free to tell me if im being too selfcentered
taa
px, sorry for spelling, mental disorder.
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
if it makes you feel any better, hugh hefner was a virgin until he was 22.. hasnt exactly stopped him
Reply 2
Actualy sod it. no1 knows me on here anyway, i'll show some balls and take credit for the above rant
its not realy about a virginity thing... i think thats more of a syimptom than the problem if u get me... Ive lost my ability to socialise, if i ever had it to begin with... thats kinda of it... im realy terible at explaning things
its not realy about a virginity thing... i think thats more of a syimptom than the problem if u get me... Ive lost my ability to socialise, if i ever had it to begin with... thats kinda of it... im realy terible at explaning things
Reply 3
I'll write a reply to this tomorrow when I'm less wrecked, just thought I'd subscribe to this thread so I can find it in the 'morrow.
Good advice coming up soon.
Good advice coming up soon.
Reply 5
are you involved in any clubs or anything, i would say if you joined a club which was about something ure interested in, like film making or music or anything! even something you have never even thught of... jst have a scout about espec if you have a refresher's fair? that would give you some socialising and also people who will enjoy the common interest of the club 
and you never kno.. the cute girl in the corner you see straight away will probably notice you too 
! gud luck!
and you never kno.. the cute girl in the corner you see straight away will probably notice you too ! gud luck!Reply 6
Anonymous
if it makes you feel any better, hugh hefner was a virgin until he was 22.. hasnt exactly stopped him
IM not sure it does does it?
- Im only a 2nd year, but i feel my life is just arange so i dont meet girls!
I do cause that has a girl@guy ratio of great than 1:10 (i know all the girls on first-name terms, but...), im also an an all guy house, and in a university the predominatly male, with very "maleish" hobbies.
- On a day-to-day to basis, i basicaly dont have any contact with anything female. And that that i do arent girlfrend material. Plus, im massivly shy!
Daniel
Reply 7
imageofreality
are you involved in any clubs or anything, i would say if you joined a club which was about something ure interested in, like film making or music or anything!
alass my uni has a horendess lack of these kinda things. +im in an extreamly intesive ccourse(or at least im making it that way so i can get a good Degree).
i was looking to join a few of them but uni has got the better of my time :-( ugh
theres just no winning is there
Reply 8
Anonymous
Im only a 2nd year, but i feel my life is just arange so i dont meet girls!
if you wanna meet girls rearrange
! pick up a feminine hobbie!other than tht spend sometime with the girls you kno... they'll lead you to more girls...which in turn lead to more girls... like an easter egg hunt.... in a very very odd way
Reply 9
prostitution?
Reply 10
Yer i think u nailed the virgin part of it. Its the whole stigma that realy gets to me and the way people have of making u feel small because of it.
Im quite happy ive not just nobed some easy slut from the local club and suchlike just to "loose it". i wana actualy find someone nice to love and do bad things to... its just i wish theyd would hurry up and exsist somwhere where i can see them
Im quite happy ive not just nobed some easy slut from the local club and suchlike just to "loose it". i wana actualy find someone nice to love and do bad things to... its just i wish theyd would hurry up and exsist somwhere where i can see them
Reply 11
Okay... Being a girl at uni, and very likely to have BEEN a virgin at uni if I hadn't met my last boyfriend... Have some help. I participate a LOT in life here; I've only been here two weeks, and I'm involved in a lot of stuff. Try going for mostly girl-orientated clubs? We have a swing-dance club at St Andrews, where the girl to guy ratio this last class was, no joke, two to one. And a lot were gay... Dancing of any kind is generally girl-centric, and they love guys learning to dance. It's a rhythm thing - if a guy can be bothered to think about what his hips are doing on the *dance* floor, he'll... Well. You can follow. XD
A lot of 'arts' stuff is girl-centric, too. Drama, music, etc, etc. Try going along to a meeting of some such society, and just be friendly. It's all very well to say, 'look, I'm shy, and I'm an X year, don't give me that', well, it's TRUE. As a fresher, I've been introducing myself to people and the look of blatant relief on people's faces is fun. You are perfectly okay to say, 'hi, hullo, I'm X, and I'm in X year. Which are you?' Easiest thing in the world is to approach someone who is isolated and just walk up and say hi.
As far as the 'everyone else ISN'T' thing, that's not bad! Yeesh, my first time was with another virgin and it was appallingly bad!
If either of us had been a little more experienced, it'd be a lot more pleasurable. And we're an odd lot, when confronted with virginity. Some will react as you've said, others, not phased, others will be almost happy about it. *shrug* Same as guys to girls, I suppose.
I participate a LOT in life here; I've only been here two weeks, and I'm involved in a lot of stuff. Try going for mostly girl-orientated clubs? We have a swing-dance club at St Andrews, where the girl to guy ratio this last class was, no joke, two to one. And a lot were gay... Dancing of any kind is generally girl-centric, and they love guys learning to dance. It's a rhythm thing - if a guy can be bothered to think about what his hips are doing on the *dance* floor, he'll... Well. You can follow. XD A lot of 'arts' stuff is girl-centric, too. Drama, music, etc, etc. Try going along to a meeting of some such society, and just be friendly. It's all very well to say, 'look, I'm shy, and I'm an X year, don't give me that', well, it's TRUE. As a fresher, I've been introducing myself to people and the look of blatant relief on people's faces is fun. You are perfectly okay to say, 'hi, hullo, I'm X, and I'm in X year. Which are you?' Easiest thing in the world is to approach someone who is isolated and just walk up and say hi.
As far as the 'everyone else ISN'T' thing, that's not bad! Yeesh, my first time was with another virgin and it was appallingly bad!
If either of us had been a little more experienced, it'd be a lot more pleasurable. And we're an odd lot, when confronted with virginity. Some will react as you've said, others, not phased, others will be almost happy about it. *shrug* Same as guys to girls, I suppose.Reply 12
If you're that desperate, why not hire a whore?
OP: personally, i don't think the virgin thing is an issue, in my experience most people that didn't have a 'serious' bf/gf in 6th form go to uni virgins and probably stay that way until they meet someone they like. Anyone that judges you for being a virgin is probably not a nice person anyway, and it's not even anyone elses business. Having said this, when you DO meet a girl you like, act sexually confident despite not being that experienced and I'm sure she won't be bothered.
I think it's great that you're working hard to get a good degree, and ultimately when people grow up and become less shallow a successful man will be much more appealing than a manic socialiser and nympho. Seeing as you're into music, is there not a musical theatre group at your uni? this will allow you to practise your hobby and meet lots of girls too??
I think it's great that you're working hard to get a good degree, and ultimately when people grow up and become less shallow a successful man will be much more appealing than a manic socialiser and nympho. Seeing as you're into music, is there not a musical theatre group at your uni? this will allow you to practise your hobby and meet lots of girls too??
Reply 14
righty...
Thanks for the advice and all... but i think ive kinda made people miss the point.
All the virgin diary noncence was a braking point thang that forced me to do a very self centered rant about my personal mental state... but i do think people got the wrong end of the stick.
its not that im a virgin thats is a problem. hell i realy couldnt give 2 ****s about it... its the psychological thang tht i feel everyone is judging me on it is the problem and a dificutly socialising in genral. sod just with women, its an everyone thing.
I know full well i get on Ok when im forced into going and meeting people and suchlike.. but i can never help coming away from it feeling like ive acted like a total prick to everyone and come off sounding like some horendes sanctamonius **** that no1 would ever like...
so therefore i hate going out to situations where i know im gona end up meeting people and so tend to avoide it... wich sorta intern leeds me to not meeting people.
i can't, and dont want to change who i am, cos personaly, im feking awsom and I kick arse... I just need some ideas and some advice on how to get over my mental blocking prombles
...and im in no way interested in tricking people into thinking im somthing im not (theres somthing rediculous about a male dancer with arm length haire), but again thanks for the advice.
Im looking for some sorta amiter thearter troop or somthing like it in leeds if anyone knows any... i need actors for my work...
Thanks for the advice and all... but i think ive kinda made people miss the point.
All the virgin diary noncence was a braking point thang that forced me to do a very self centered rant about my personal mental state... but i do think people got the wrong end of the stick.
its not that im a virgin thats is a problem. hell i realy couldnt give 2 ****s about it... its the psychological thang tht i feel everyone is judging me on it is the problem and a dificutly socialising in genral. sod just with women, its an everyone thing.
I know full well i get on Ok when im forced into going and meeting people and suchlike.. but i can never help coming away from it feeling like ive acted like a total prick to everyone and come off sounding like some horendes sanctamonius **** that no1 would ever like...
so therefore i hate going out to situations where i know im gona end up meeting people and so tend to avoide it... wich sorta intern leeds me to not meeting people.
i can't, and dont want to change who i am, cos personaly, im feking awsom and I kick arse... I just need some ideas and some advice on how to get over my mental blocking prombles
...and im in no way interested in tricking people into thinking im somthing im not (theres somthing rediculous about a male dancer with arm length haire), but again thanks for the advice.
Im looking for some sorta amiter thearter troop or somthing like it in leeds if anyone knows any... i need actors for my work...
Reply 15
Step 1: Stop feeling sorry for yourself!
Step 2: Sometimes in life my friend one must push aside their concerns, put on a front and face the world.
Step 3: Stop running to TSR, TALK to your FRIENDS!
Step 4: Stop being insecure about your virginity. Be PROUD you havn't given in to teen temptation!
Step 5: Belieeeeeve in yourself
Step 2: Sometimes in life my friend one must push aside their concerns, put on a front and face the world.
Step 3: Stop running to TSR, TALK to your FRIENDS!
Step 4: Stop being insecure about your virginity. Be PROUD you havn't given in to teen temptation!
Step 5: Belieeeeeve in yourself
Good luck! xxx
Anonymous
BE WARNED!!! - im going to rant... and if u want to read i would apreancate all coments... tell me why im wrong people
... no-one seems to be able to offer anyone any real help. in the long run i guess my tale is the usual schpeel of "i want a girlfrend" that u get from people my age and situation, but trolling through these bordes everyone seems to just offer advice along the lines of "People will like you if u change in this way" or "trick them by doing this" kinda thing...
anywho, the rant begins
I have had one soding terrible evning.
Im a 3rd year student who has not made many firends in uni, and what frends i have made have been the kind of "i know you because you know so and so" kind of things. Im quite a lonesum chappy but keep a brave face on it and stupidly live in a happy land of optemisem of maby oneday i shall meet somone interesting, christ knows how and suchlike, but maby one day.
But as ive said, ive had a terible evning. That Virgin diarys programs been on and one of the people on it braught aloda people over to our house to watch it... As a 21 year old virgin of the male and awquardly aflicted by a strange sence of morals persuasion, i've hidden in my room to avoide the whole "im the only person in this room watching a program about people 3 - 5 years younger than me having sex" thing...
Its a kinda strange feeling i get that if ever im in a group conversation about sex with anyone that I havent known for over 2 years, If i venture any sort of coment they will all stand up and point screaming "WHAT WYOULD YOU KNOW HIDIOUSLY PATHETIC VIRGIN BOY!" i know this to be total guff, no1 would ever do that, but still i cant get that feeling out my head.
It seems realy vapid to be saying "ooh im old and still a virgin at 21 and dont want to be, HELP". I think the thing is, being a virgin is not the problem, its the "EVERYONE ELLSE ISNT" factor and then the "whats wrong with me, am i weird or just completely un-likeable" (somthing this rant probably pooves).
Also i have the problem of everyone in uni always seems so empty... sweeping genralisationg i know, but everyone likes the same films, the same books, and god knows everyone likes the same old student music (im a music student myself so this is my very own personal peeve). its not so much that i have a problem with people not liking what i like... but its the not even cairing about things enough to explore them that gets to me... and i cant let this go
its at the stage of life that everyone i live with in falling into pretty comited long term relationships and im just lagging behind everyone ellse. and because i cant seem to make freinds i have no1 ellse to go and socialise with. i meen sure, theres alot of people i "know" but i realy feel that they only spend any time with me because its uni and we have to do some groupwork, or at least, why would anyone want me as a friend or a social buddy when theres so many better people that they already know.
ok so i have been ranting but i need some way of geting this off my chest... im trying not to sound all self pitious... but... thats the kinda gist of it... I know exactly the reasons i cant socialise/meet people/find love are utter rubbish... but still i cant let them go and go out and do the afore mentioned social activiatys.
yer... thats it realy... sorry for timewasting but i need a good rant. feel free to tell me if im being too selfcentered
taa
px, sorry for spelling, mental disorder.
... no-one seems to be able to offer anyone any real help. in the long run i guess my tale is the usual schpeel of "i want a girlfrend" that u get from people my age and situation, but trolling through these bordes everyone seems to just offer advice along the lines of "People will like you if u change in this way" or "trick them by doing this" kinda thing...
anywho, the rant begins
I have had one soding terrible evning.
Im a 3rd year student who has not made many firends in uni, and what frends i have made have been the kind of "i know you because you know so and so" kind of things. Im quite a lonesum chappy but keep a brave face on it and stupidly live in a happy land of optemisem of maby oneday i shall meet somone interesting, christ knows how and suchlike, but maby one day.
But as ive said, ive had a terible evning. That Virgin diarys programs been on and one of the people on it braught aloda people over to our house to watch it... As a 21 year old virgin of the male and awquardly aflicted by a strange sence of morals persuasion, i've hidden in my room to avoide the whole "im the only person in this room watching a program about people 3 - 5 years younger than me having sex" thing...
Its a kinda strange feeling i get that if ever im in a group conversation about sex with anyone that I havent known for over 2 years, If i venture any sort of coment they will all stand up and point screaming "WHAT WYOULD YOU KNOW HIDIOUSLY PATHETIC VIRGIN BOY!" i know this to be total guff, no1 would ever do that, but still i cant get that feeling out my head.
It seems realy vapid to be saying "ooh im old and still a virgin at 21 and dont want to be, HELP". I think the thing is, being a virgin is not the problem, its the "EVERYONE ELLSE ISNT" factor and then the "whats wrong with me, am i weird or just completely un-likeable" (somthing this rant probably pooves).
Also i have the problem of everyone in uni always seems so empty... sweeping genralisationg i know, but everyone likes the same films, the same books, and god knows everyone likes the same old student music (im a music student myself so this is my very own personal peeve). its not so much that i have a problem with people not liking what i like... but its the not even cairing about things enough to explore them that gets to me... and i cant let this go
its at the stage of life that everyone i live with in falling into pretty comited long term relationships and im just lagging behind everyone ellse. and because i cant seem to make freinds i have no1 ellse to go and socialise with. i meen sure, theres alot of people i "know" but i realy feel that they only spend any time with me because its uni and we have to do some groupwork, or at least, why would anyone want me as a friend or a social buddy when theres so many better people that they already know.
ok so i have been ranting but i need some way of geting this off my chest... im trying not to sound all self pitious... but... thats the kinda gist of it... I know exactly the reasons i cant socialise/meet people/find love are utter rubbish... but still i cant let them go and go out and do the afore mentioned social activiatys.
yer... thats it realy... sorry for timewasting but i need a good rant. feel free to tell me if im being too selfcentered
taa
px, sorry for spelling, mental disorder.
Look, matey, if you bothered to get to know a few people you'd probably realise that they are not all the same.
LadyEnglish
Step 1: Stop feeling sorry for yourself!
Step 2: Sometimes in life my friend one must push aside their concerns, put on a front and face the world.
Step 3: Stop running to TSR, TALK to your FRIENDS!
Step 4: Stop being insecure about your virginity. Be PROUD you havn't given in to teen temptation!
Step 5: Belieeeeeve in yourself
Step 2: Sometimes in life my friend one must push aside their concerns, put on a front and face the world.
Step 3: Stop running to TSR, TALK to your FRIENDS!
Step 4: Stop being insecure about your virginity. Be PROUD you havn't given in to teen temptation!
Step 5: Belieeeeeve in yourself
Good luck! xxx
You forgot "Step 0: Use spell-check".
JasonMx
I'm a 21 year old male also and i'm a virgin, it really doesn't bother me, what bothers me, or should i say, what used to bother me, is other peoples' (mainly young peoples) attitudes to it, like you have to feel some kind of shame or embarrassment because of being a virgin, you've got to remember that young people are inherantly stupid and their entire mindset is the result of social manipulation, it's false, i therefore care not what others think about it.
Listen, theres no big deal about sex, just spend some time on the net finding out what incredibly beautiful women will do with ugly men, for cash, some of the most gorgeous woman do the most disgusting things sexually so as far as i'm concerned on the issue of sex, when i decide to have it, i'll go and have it
Listen, theres no big deal about sex, just spend some time on the net finding out what incredibly beautiful women will do with ugly men, for cash, some of the most gorgeous woman do the most disgusting things sexually so as far as i'm concerned on the issue of sex, when i decide to have it, i'll go and have it
You would know
You misanthropists really are missing out.
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