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Please help me with my thesis statement

I am a Psychology major currently taking a History course. At the moment, I am working on a ten page pager for the class.

I know my thesis statement is quite clunky and not very good at the moment but could someone please help me out here?

This is what I have so far:

Although the Italian Renaissance was already producing great works of art and literature such as those by Michelangelo, Castiglione and Dante, there was more of an Ancient Rome or humanist aesthetic and influence than much in the way of outside influence. Still, as many of the cities that made up the Italian peninsula engaged in trade with people from other nations, there was apt chance of there being artisans from elsewhere whose work would leave an imprint on the native Italians. The art being produced in Italy not only had an influence upon the Turkish sultan Mehmed but his own views on art, literature and society also had an impact upon his patrons. Such was his effect via his patronage of such artists as Gentile Bellini and Costanza da Ferrara as well as his ties to the Medicis, that the Italian translation of Ptolemy’s Geographia by Francesco Berlinghieri was set to be dedicated to him, and Pope Pius II was even ready to offer him the title of Holy Roman Emperor upon the condition that he convert from Islam to Catholicism.

Reply 1

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