The Student Room Group

the guy downstairs...

I moved into university a month ago and I love it so far but the guy who lives in the flat below me has been playing on my mind since I met him. We've spoken a few times when we've all been out with our flatmates.One of his room mates said she had seen us getting close one night and wondered if I liked him - to which I replied that I did. She asked him the same question and told me the next day that he'd said he liked me too but she added that because he's so quiet I'd have to be the one to make the first move if I wanted anything to happen between us. I'm not someone who believes it always has to be the guy who makes the first move, but when it actually came to telling him last night I couldn't and I can't figure out why the idea scared me so much.

Talking to my flat mate he suggested that it might be because there is a guy back home who I'm quite hung-up on. I've had a sort of casual relationship with this guy for a year where we kiss, flirt and cuddle when we're together, but have said nothing more than that we like each other. My flat mate says he thinks the guy at home is only using me when I go back for a bit of meangingless fun and that I can do better with this new guy at uni who is showing an interest. He said the guy at home isn't worth waiting around for because if he hasn't made the relationship serious by now he never will.

I like the guy at home a lot, but I'm starting to wonder if what my flat mate has said is right and that dreaming of things becomming more serious with him is only a pipe dream. I hate to admit that it might be the truth because it means having to let him go, even though I know in the end it would be best for me. The guy downstairs is a nice guy but I don't know why when it comes to telling him how I feel I just go silent or talk about weird things like my uni course.

Any opinions would be appreciated, and I'm sorry for the lengthy post.
Go for it. Tell the guy in the flat how you feel! I'm a guy and know if i really cared for a girl then i would have commited to her and the guy back at home obviously hasn't. Take your chances with the uni guy. Good luck!:smile:
Reply 2
Anonymous
she added that because he's so quiet I'd have to be the one to make the first move if I wanted anything to happen between us. I'm not someone who believes it always has to be the guy who makes the first move.


This is just part of the package with most shy guys. Unfortunately it looks like you'll have to be the one who makes the first move.
Reply 3
go for it :smile:
You go gal!
yeah definately get rid of the guy at home, go for the uni guy good luck!
good luck with it!
I would become friends with this person, but be mindful to dispose of the other one at home.
Reply 8
OK, why don't you go to the pub with a bunch of friends? Then it's not a date, and you can chat and have a drink to relax. Not too much tho. Just so you can get over silence and awkwardness !
Yes, go for it-include him when you go out with others. That way, you might feel more comfortable to talk to him. If you don;t try, you will always think what if?
Reply 10
This appears to be a rare situation wherein you can have the cake and eat it too.