I don't want to be obsessed with my teacher but I'm worried that I am?!

Last year I was going through a really tough time at school. My friends ganged up on me and left me, and one day, I walked out of the classroom in a rage and bumped into one of my teachers, who asked me how I was and helped me out. Ever since then, he's kept an eye out for me and on trips etc he's always joked around with me. Everyone says we get on weirdly well and he sometimes comes into the common room to find me to chat and always makes sure I'm okay. I'm completely fine with this as I don't really have lots of friends at school and it's nice to talk to someone who gets my jokes etc. Once he told me about this organisation he belongs to and I Googled it and it has all of his contact details etc. This freaked me out. I'm quite an obsessive person and I really don't want to be obsessed with him because that would be creepy. Now I keep thinking I'm going to start being obsessed with him or something (not in a romantic way) and it's freaking me out. Any advice would be really good. Thanks in advance!

Reply 1

CatnipGlows

Original post by Anonymous

You definitely don't want to start getting obsessed with him, nothing good will come from that. You don't want to be just another teacher/student story on the news D:

My advice is whilst it's good you have someone there for you, you need to cut the cord with him a bit.. he sounds like he's just trying to be friendly. Back off, don't talk to him as much, and whilst it may feel weird at first it will be for the best.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by abbiemac

Thank you so much. But what if he keeps coming to find me? We didn't speak today and I was oddly relieved. But I still feel worried.

Reply 3

kmac17

I would say given that the fact you are worried shows that you're doing the right thing. If you feel aware that its getting a bit too much then it probably is, and at least you're trying to do something about it so well done :smile:

I'm sure if you show some distance between the teacher and yourself, he will start to ease off a bit too. x hope everything goes well x

Reply 4

noobynoo

What organisation? I'm intrigued. He's not in a cult is he? Not the scientologists? :eek:

Reply 5

Yung $cientist

is he good looking? lol

Reply 6

EmmaL.AM

I'm pretty close to one of my teachers, she was there for me through difficult times such as coming out because she'd been there and done that so we naturally bonded over it. We were the same, we got on well and talked often about how I felt (because I'm not the most stable of people) and she always made sure she was helping me.

I never saw it as creepy because she's such a lovely woman who I relate to so well, but I tried backing off from her at one point for the exact same reason as you. I wouldn't say I was 'obsessed' but I relied on her a lot and it felt she meant too much to me. However, backing off was one of the worst choices I made. I blocked her out completely after having a bit of a break down on her the previous week. I wanted to deal with my own problems but it only made things worse to be alone. Sure, I had friends, but they didn't understand the same as she did, because I'm oddly mature for my age.

I got worse and worse for weeks and then I realized it was stupid to block someone out if talking to them makes you feel better and happy. So I guess the moral of this little anecdote is that if he makes you feel more confident and cared about, don't push him away, but if you find it a bit creepy then feel free to tell him. He's a teacher, he will understand if you want some space and will be obliged to do so. If you need to talk to him, he will be there until you leave. So by all means, tell him you need some space, just don't block him out 100% if he helps you emotionally.

Hope this helped!

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 7

De Mortimer

The fact he randomly gave you the name of that organisation with all of his contact details on it is quite strange. It's almost as if he wants you to obsess over him.

Still though, I would recommend backing off, nothing good will come of this, he could lose his job and you could have your face pasted all over the news.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by De Mortimer

He just told me he belonged to it. I Googled it and it came up with all of the members. So I felt really bad.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by noobynoo

What organisation? I'm intrigued. He's not in a cult is he? Not the scientologists? :eek:

No, it's a sports thing.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by Yung $cientist

is he good looking? lol

I don't fancy him . . .

Bump?

Any more advice? I spoke to him normally today for a brief moment. Nothing out of the ordinary. I'm glad.

Reply 13

pinkbullets

I think you're just lonely and grateful to him for being nice to you. I don't necessarily think you should stop talking to him - it sounds like you know that anything romantic could never happen between you. I recommend you try and find new friends your own age though - you do sound quite lonely. Are there any other people that don't really seem to have a friendship group? Try talking to them perhaps. If not, try joining clubs and stuff and you should naturally make friends through these.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Original post by pinkbullets

Thank you. I have more friends now, and a few comment on the fact that I get on weirdly well with him. I'm not as lonely as I was before, which is a good thing! :smile:

Reply 15

glueless12

I guess think he is there to help you....
you have grown this bond with( not in a pervy way).
I guess its okay to be worried but if does make like a weird move than you need to moveee awayyyy...
if he doesnt than you know your in the safe...
no did to worry

Reply 16

Anonymous #2

You can't control whether you're obsessed with someone. Been there and going through it again. And no, both times it wasn't a teacher - it's friends of mine. I know that for one of them, it is the cause of almost every single problem we've had.