Obsessed with someone...

This sounds really weird, but oh well. In March I helped to run a club at school for some of the younger students. I had great fun and really enjoyed it. However, I became kind of obsessed with one of the students who came along. I'm 17 and he is 12. I'm not sure what it is, but I feel some kind of attraction towards him - not in a sense of wanting a "relationship" - but just that I want to be his "friend". :confused:

I don't understand these emotions at all, but they are starting to take over my life. He is constantly in my mind. I deliberately try and bump into him at school to have an opportunity to strike conversation. As I have said, I think about him constantly and I can't for the life of me figure out why on earth I feel this way. :frown:

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Reply 1

username47781

Maybe you have a soft spot for him, but be careful don't get in too deep with this lad.

Reply 2

Sithius

Maybe he is 'the one' but obviously hasn't grown up yet!

Reply 3

Shreerac1

Um well you can't be a paedofile because women can't be paedofiles.

Reply 4

Shreerac1

Um well you can't be a paedofile because women can't be paedofiles.

Erm, since when?

Reply 5

Shreerac1

3232

Erm, since when?

Was sarcasm, personally I don't think that. But is it not the generally accepted thing?

Reply 6

Nope, it's nowhere near as common, but it has happened.

Reply 7

General Mullet

If a 17 year old male posted that he was obsessed with a 12 year old girl.....

Reply 8

Yeah, i've gotta say its pretty messed up but the fact you've called it an 'obsession' means you know theres something not quite right about it. Just avoid the guy, cause the fixation you have on him is either gonna get you into trouble or seriously mess this kid around.

Reply 9

a_t

General Mullet

If a 17 year old male posted that he was obsessed with a 12 year old girl.....

Exactly, and this is why I hate feminists

But lets be honest, if I was 12 and I was getting in with someone who was 17...

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Thanks for the replies.... Guess I need to just try and "get over him" so how or another... :frown:

Reply 11

username47781

Yes you do for your own sake

Reply 12

ghtrevgy

I think you should try and work out what about him you are so obsessed with. Why is he so great in your eyes?

Reply 13

samba

Find a new school.

Reply 14

Shockley

Could it be that you would like a child of your own in the future?

Reply 15

Vampyrcorn

is this a sexual obsession? or is it more just that you like him in a different way?

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

Vampyrcorn

is this a sexual obsession? or is it more just that you like him in a different way?

Absolutely NOT a sexual obession.

Reply 17

quintsy

I think it's possible that there are still some strong feelings there; but rather than it being a crush, or you seeing him as a potential partner it's possible that he's just the kind of person you'd normally get along with, or he's like a brother almost.

I think it's often hard to determine what exactly you feel in situations like this. You know the feeling towards him is postive, yet it's hard to tell what exactly you feel for him. It's similar to when pupils develop feelings for teachers who are much older than them- often they don't want a relationship, they just admire them and mistake their feelings of admiration for having a crush on the teacher.

Anyway, I wouldn't worry too much about the way you're feeling and try to analyse it. It's quite possible that you feel slightly protective over him like a sister would because of the responsibility you had, and the fact you had to be in charge and look after him. As for trying to stop the feelings, I don't think there is a great deal that you can do, other than forcing yourself away from him, but I don't think this will make you that happy in the long run. Instead perhaps you could try to find out what it is you like about him? Maybe you find him sweet, or he has a good sense of humour? Then you can look for someone a bit older with these qualities. :smile: