Anyone had a normal relationship that become long distance? Watch

Anonymous #1
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All the people giving advice/opinions seems to be those whose relationships have always been long distance. What about those who started out close, say for the first 6 months then became long distance? (not including moving to uni)

I've been with my bf for almost a year. We've been long distance since I graduated in May and up till now it's been alright as I don't have a job so can go and stay with him for weeks at a time. I tried so hard to get a job close to him but it didn't happen and now I'll be moving somewhere that although is closer than we are right now is still a 3hr + journey. I'm worried that when I'm working full time and obviously only have weekends off that we will hardly see each other. And obviously we will need some weekends to ourselves. How do people make it work? Once a fortnight for 2 days doesn't seem enough. I just feel like my life is taking me in a direction away from my boyfriend. I don't know how long it'll be until I move closer and he has no plans to move either (his job, house, family etc are all where he lives).

I'm just worrying about nothing but it'll be good to get some other perspectives/experiences.
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Safiya122
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Isn't he able to come and visit you?
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Rock Fan
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(Original post by Anonymous)
All the people giving advice/opinions seems to be those whose relationships have always been long distance. What about those who started out close, say for the first 6 months then became long distance? (not including moving to uni)

I've been with my bf for almost a year. We've been long distance since I graduated in May and up till now it's been alright as I don't have a job so can go and stay with him for weeks at a time. I tried so hard to get a job close to him but it didn't happen and now I'll be moving somewhere that although is closer than we are right now is still a 3hr + journey. I'm worried that when I'm working full time and obviously only have weekends off that we will hardly see each other. And obviously we will need some weekends to ourselves. How do people make it work? Once a fortnight for 2 days doesn't seem enough. I just feel like my life is taking me in a direction away from my boyfriend. I don't know how long it'll be until I move closer and he has no plans to move either (his job, house, family etc are all where he lives).

I'm just worrying about nothing but it'll be good to get some other perspectives/experiences.
I had this, we were together 3 months before we both finished our seasonal job and both had to go back home, she's now over 6 hours away but we are still together and plan to see each other soon. Distance is nothing if you both love each other. If you both put the effort in and communicate with each other not to mention be honest, then it can work. We are lucky in this day and age we have mobile phones and skype etc. We have a long distance relationship society as well you might want to check out with so many other people here in your situation http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=2404204
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Anonymous #2
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Yes, my boyfriend & I started out living in the same town for the first 4-5 months of our relationship. Then I moved to the West Coast of America for 4 months, while he went back to Italy. We were long-distance for about a year and a half (I came back to England when my fellowship finished in the States, while he was still in Italy), and in October of this year we moved in together

I understand how tough it is to go from a 'normal' relationship, to long-distance: even if you don't see each other every day, the knowledge that they live in the same place/close by is psychologically very important. I would stress communication above all if you want the relationship to survive the distance. Talk every day through some medium. Some days when we were both busy my boyfriend & I would text/chat, whereas other days we'd skype. You have to be honest about your feelings: don't be afraid to say you miss them! You need also to be careful about how you say things, if that makes sense: it's hard to convey tone in text, and so small things can get picked up the wrong way, and then transformed into an argument. My boyfriend & I argued much more when we were long-distance than when we were together, often because of misunderstandings like this. Little surprises like cards and 'care packages' also help someone feel loved from a distance. I would also say to always know when you'll see each other next, even if it feels like a long time away; once you've seen each other, start planning the next visit! And have a long-term plan to close the distance eventually; with my boyfriend and me, we knew he wanted to move back to England once he had finished studying, and sure enough he has.

Good luck!
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The Champion.m4a
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I've been in one for around a year then it becomes long-distance.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Safiya122)
Isn't he able to come and visit you?
He can, but he doesn't have set hours that he works, so he rarely gets a whole weekend off. It would mean him coming down while I was at work during the day. It could happen but it's not ideal. I'm sure there will be times when he can come down but I'm not allowed guests to stay more than 3 consecutive nights as part of my tenancy (stupid rule tho I doubt they'd enforce it tbh).
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Safiya122
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(Original post by Anonymous)
He can, but he doesn't have set hours that he works, so he rarely gets a whole weekend off. It would mean him coming down while I was at work during the day. It could happen but it's not ideal. I'm sure there will be times when he can come down but I'm not allowed guests to stay more than 3 consecutive nights as part of my tenancy (stupid rule tho I doubt they'd enforce it tbh).
What about changing times at work?
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SummerSunshine
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I've been with my boyfriend for nearly two years now. We were at the same university but now he has changed universities and is three hours away, and we live further apart during the holidays. We don't get to see each other much now (less than you do), but although it's really horrible being away from him, we both know that it would be so much worse if we weren't together. I would rather miss someone than not have them in my life. The moment you stop missing them is the moment you should break up, because you no longer care. Plus it make the time we spend together even better!! We try to talk for ten minutes every day, and we Skype often, but we are both so busy, which is great because I like knowing that we have lives outside of each other! Good luck with it all
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