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Bored with sex after 2 years?? How could I spend my life with this guy??

Sorry for the anon - It's jus a problem I'd rather my friends didn't know about.

I'm a girl and I've been with my man for almost 2 years. I absolutely fancy him like crazy, but for some reason we just don't have sex anymore. It is always somehow inconvenient and haven't has as much as a fumble for a few months now, apart from a drunken quickie we had on his birthday.

Our sex has never been passionate and I've never felt satisfied afterwards. I think i'm just fed up with making all the effort and coming away frustrated. He doesn't seem to care that we don't make love either, almost as though it's too much effort for him anyway.

I love this guy to bits but I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this. i know after long period of being with someone the passion starts to fade, but not like this.

Any ideas how I can improve things, guys?

Scroll to see replies

Suggest a threesome.

tell him...he might think your alright with it and so not bother...

Reply 3

suicidal_dream

yeah speak to him about it..
he might just totally not realise how you feel about it.

if the worst comes to the worst, what about a sex counsellor or something along those lines?

or invest in a book or video on how to spice things up.. maybe it'd get both yours and his mind ticking over about it and hey presto!

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

I have told him hun, he just sulks. And I don't think he'd have a threesome even if I wanted one!! But thanks for the suggestions.

Reply 5

Sanity Panda

Well first things first, was he even intrested in sex in the first place.

And heres my rubbish bad advice for the day: Break up with him ¬.¬'

Reply 6

Doodahdoo

Just talk to him. If you are that in love and that close, it'd be a good idea just to talk and express your concerns. Take care. x

Reply 7

street

Anonymous

I have told him hun, he just sulks. And I don't think he'd have a threesome even if I wanted one!! But thanks for the suggestions.

talk to him again and finish with "if things dont change then i might have to leave you"

if this doesnt change things then perhaps you should look elsewhere

sexy bondage

Honestly, how can these people help? What do you want to hear?

Reply 10

matt@internet

Anonymous

I have told him hun, he just sulks. And I don't think he'd have a threesome even if I wanted one!! But thanks for the suggestions.

So you wouldn't mind a threesome?
Edit : Sorry, misread it. Thought you said he wouldn't have a threesome, even if he wanted one. Which in retrospect, doesn't make a lot of sense.

Reply 11

matt@internet

street

talk to him again and finish with "if things dont change then i might have to leave you"

if this doesnt change things then perhaps you should look elsewhere

That's just a recipe for disaster.

Reply 12

Né Stig

If he fancies you, I'm quite sure you need to do something a little extra to get his mind working like a typical male. Once in that zone, your ass is owned (not literally).

So dress up how he likes it, get him how he likes to be and ravish him. Forget about his interests and go for it :tongue:

Reply 13

Alice 00

Please be honest with him

Reply 14

dsch

maybe he wants you to pour tobasco sauce onto his banjo string, maybe that would get him hot.

Reply 15

Rusty33

coughsyrup

maybe he wants you to pour tobasco sauce onto his banjo string, maybe that would get him hot.

ROFL. FTW.

On a more serious note.... You have to know what it is that will get you going. One of my old girlfriends taught me some tricks that worked for her, and the results were amazing. If you think that he would be to embarrassed by it, tell his best friend slyly advise him.

Boys are like that. "Dude, I did this the other night and you should have SEEN how far her back arched!" Now, it might be a bit uncomfortable for you, but let's face it. You do him. He talks to his boy about, so his boy already knows the details. And, if my best friends girl approached me about this, I would be more than happy to help.

Reply 16

Shockley

You should watch that film, 9 songs. The most sexually explicit film to be rated 18. That'll get him going.

Reply 17

LadyEnglish

Maybe he feels the same as you but doesn't know how to tell you...initiate the problem with him but don't make him feel embarassed. I'm sure if any man was told he was 'under achieveing' in the bedroom it would be pretty embarassing :redface:

and for girls :biggrin:

Reply 18

jumpinglunch

i know this is slightly off the thread,but if they were soul mates surely sex doesn;t matter,and yes i know every1 has their own needs,but if you;v got eachother what else matters.Sex is important but is it The most important thing,for me no,if i was in real love with som1 and they didn;t want sex i would be dissappointed but i would never contemplate leaving them.instead i would be more romantic up to the point of sex,but no further.