Why doesn't my GF make time for us?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#1
I know she's busy with her University work... But so am I, and I still manage to make time for us to spend together.

We were talking over the phone earlier on and I asked when we could meet up and she said that she didn't know because she has so much work to do.

We see each other once every 2 weeks and for the second time, since she's so busy, I'm going back to my hometown to see her. I told her I didn't mind where I saw her, of it was in the library when we could work together or for a small amount of time - I just want to be able to see her because I miss her and I love spending time with her.

It just feels like she isn't bothered about us. I've told her I get these moments when I'm really sad and really missing her and she just tells me to stop being so moody and clingy. I told her that the fact that we only see each other every 2 weeks for a couple of days is doing it to me.

What's going on? Am I being desperate and clingy?
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C_tinie_D
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I know she's busy with her University work... But so am I, and I still manage to make time for us to spend together.

We were talking over the phone earlier on and I asked when we could meet up and she said that she didn't know because she has so much work to do.

We see each other once every 2 weeks and for the second time, since she's so busy, I'm going back to my hometown to see her. I told her I didn't mind where I saw her, of it was in the library when we could work together or for a small amount of time - I just want to be able to see her because I miss her and I love spending time with her.

It just feels like she isn't bothered about us. I've told her I get these moments when I'm really sad and really missing her and she just tells me to stop being so moody and clingy. I told her that the fact that we only see each other every 2 weeks for a couple of days is doing it to me.

What's going on? Am I being desperate and clingy?
Personally I don't think you are. She sounds a bit distant though, how long have you been together? I hope she isn't wasting your time but you need to ask her why isn't she making time for your relationship? No one studies 24/7. When you do see each other, how long do you spend togehter?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by C_tinie_D)
Personally I don't think you are. She sounds a bit distant though, how long have you been together? I hope she isn't wasting your time but you need to ask her why isn't she making time for your relationship? No one studies 24/7. When you do see each other, how long do you spend togehter?
Well that's a relief that someone thinks I'm being reasonable in my worries rather than clingy and/or desperate.

1) I've told her that it feels like I'm putting the most into this relationship, that I'm making a lot of time for her and, more importantly US. All she had to say is "So you're expecting me to throw away my work for you?" -- So nothing good came from that.

2) We've been together for the best part of 8 months now ... funnily enough she was the first to even mention "moving in together", "making a family" and **** like that ... so it mystifies me as to why she'd suddenly turn a lot more, like you say, distant.

3) We're studying in different cities, so spending time together is quite usually scarce. I'll go see her every 4 weeks, and she'll come every 4 weeks ... so we get to see each other every 2 weeks.

This time however I have to go see her for the second time in 2 weeks because she's so busy with her maths stuff. She tells me about this coursework she has to do, and class exams she has to revise for.

I had a 1500 word coursework to hand in this week (Yesterday) and I still managed to make time to talk to her over the phone and make some kind of communication.

This is all very ironic since she used to complain a lot about me not communicating enough - could she be vindictive?
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joker12345
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I'm sorry to say this, but this is really bad news. You offered to travel, AND go to the library with her. She sounds really distant and uninterested.
Do you know whether she's actually working 24/7 or does she meet friends etc?
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glueless12
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You are not being a clingy boyfriend....
I guess she is missing out.
Do understand both of you guys are busy but if she took your relationship seriously she would go above and beyond to meet you...
Maybe you guys need a break??
i know this might sound so insane but you guys have be distant and you are not happy...
BAD RELATIONSHIPS CHANGE GOOD PEOPLEE.....
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Tiger Rag
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You're not being clingy.

You really need to talk again. Is there something bothering her? If she was really happy in the relationship / something wasn't bothering her, she'd make time for you. Even if it spending one evening a week talking on the phone, Skype, etc.
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The Juan
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Get over yourself, some people actually care about their future and are wiling to out in the hours to achieve their goals
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BlueSheep32
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You're not being clingy. She has work to do but she can't possibly spend all of the time doing work, she'll need to have a break every now and then or she'll burn out. You've even offered to let her do work while you're there, and she's still not budging on this one. I had a similar issue with my boyfriend at one point, and we sorted that by setting aside certain times in the week which were devoted to spending time together, and if either of us needed that time to do work we'd go to the library or sit in my room doing it, but you've already suggested those so I don't know what else you can do really. You do need to talk to her and make it clear that no matter how busy you both get, if your relationship is going to work you need to spend some time together. It's not hard to find some time to either see your partner or Skype them or whatever no matter how much you have to do.
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Holby_fanatic
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I can be like this sometimes, as can my boyfriend. She probably is just really busy.
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stargirl63
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By the sounds of things she doesn't miss you as she should. Perhaps she is caught up in her uni work, perhaps she just can't be bothered. Either way, I think that you should not initiate seeing her (yes it will be difficult, but make her miss you). Be distant to her - if she starts to question it, then you have something. If she doesn't care - then you're better off moving on.
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TurboCretin
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What does she study, and where?

What do you study, and where?

Regardless nobody works so hard they can't make time for their partner, but it is helpful to know.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by TurboCretin)
What does she study, and where?

What do you study, and where?

Regardless nobody works so hard they can't make time for their partner, but it is helpful to know.
She's in her third and final year of her maths degree. She studies somewhere in London.

I study Criminology (first year) and in Bristol.
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TurboCretin
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(Original post by Anonymous)
She's in her third and final year of her maths degree. She studies somewhere in London.

I study Criminology (first year) and in Bristol.
Okay. I'm confident that her workload will be much higher than yours right now. I would cut her some slack, but make it clear that she has to make some time to fit you into her schedule, wherever she can.
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