What grade is my work? [English language coursework]

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Brookeolivia
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Hello, was just wondering if someone could read my work and tell me what grade its possible of getting, i would appreciate some feedback too, positive and negative

The question is: Write an article based in a strong opinion


Do school uniforms help curb violence, foster a better learning environment or promote discipline in students? Many parents and reporters think so and are pushing schools to require them.


Opinions about uniforms and dress codes vary about as much as the reasons for having them - parents seem to love them and students seem to dislike them for many reasons, such as the 'attractiveness' of the outfit. Human rights suggest that we have the right to freedom of speech and expression, which concludes that we as students have the right to our own say, we have the right to dress how we want to dress and we have the right to express ourselves in the way we want rather than expressing ourselves to be being confined to the strict idea of school uniform. By forcing children to dress identically, their ability to express their personality, creativity and personal preferences is stifled as it is wrong to put students into a group that they do not feel comfortable in as it discourages their self expression and emphasizes anti-individuality.


Throughout primary and secondary school we are told to be unique and to stand out in the crowd, how can we achieve this impossible mission when we are told that wearing the same clothes is highly necessary for the education system that decides our future. Over exaggerating, I am not. It is wrong to label us based on the school rules, students want to be labeled like an item of food, which includes our ingredients, our content and how much we are worth, not what school we attend. Teachers may say this causes numerous problems such as bullying, but is this true? It hasn't been scientifically proven,so surely by wearing our own clothes we are judged by our peers on what we feel comfortable in, so is this really a big issue?


Teachers claim that the uniform provides protection as we are recognised as students, especially while on a school trip, this also promotes the pride of the school and a high standard of dressing. Interestingly, there are incidents involving students on uniform causing mishap in public. This leads to a decreasing rating of the school by the public while others students in the same uniform are affiliated to such act. Quick Judgement like this can lead to the public completely avoiding students in uniforms, based on influences of their own experiences and the influences by the media.


Popular media like newspapers and magazines state that if everyone dresses the same, there will be no cause for bullying based on choice of clothing, as the uniform will conceal the social and economic status of the wearer. But, wearing the same clothes doesn't mean we all look the same as there is always going to be a difference based on quality. For example, families may struggle to make ends meet therefore causing their focus to be elsewhere as the uniform isn't a vital part of our education. Surely the quality of teaching is more of a priority rather than spending time fixating on the way students dress themselves.


The typical student undergoes many barriers including being mocked, ridiculed and harassed by peers when wearing the uniform correctly as they could be name called because they're simply abiding rules, which is 'uncool'. When saying 'correctly', I mean not only wearing the clothing required but also going to the extreme extent of tucking in your shirt, fastening your top button and wearing your tie at the correct length because obviously a lesson would not proceed successfully without these factors being put in place.


There is really no need to concentrate on how we dress when the standards of teaching could be dropping as the teachers care more about our tie being a certain length rather than the quality of our grades. In addition, wearing coloured nail varnish and 'Nike' trainers do not in any shape or form affect the way we are taught, which suggests that the teachers are the ones at fault not the students as we are not the ones who introduce the rules.


Workers can also be blamed for creating a negative impression on school children because studies in the Daily Mail show that in shops 'security guards are more likely to follow a child in their uniform rather than in their own clothes' which proves that we are judged as students and not regular humans. Judging youths based on their uniform is wrong and rules need to be changed to suit students views and not just the governments.


Thankyou, Brooke
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Safiya122
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Wow this is quite good, I don't know what grade I would give it mainly because I'm hopeless at that stuff hahaha but it's good
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