This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

How to start a good conversation?

I'm finding it a bit difficult to get to know the people in my kitchen and in my course. The people in my kitchen are really nice, but I can't seem to click with them after five days. They're not normally the type of people I hang around with, but I can see myself having a great time with them. I think we're done with the "what's your name and what are you studying" conversation, and it's now the "hi, how are you? Did you have a good time last night?" bit, but I can't think of any good topics to talk about (besides their course). It's like I expect them to talk to me, and I don't like it.

The people in my course are a little different. Everyone in my lectures seem to have formed groups and I can't manage to fit in. It just doesn't feel right that I'm sitting and just looking around the room while hundreds of people are talking and laughing.

I know I've got plenty of time to know more about other people (and I'm going out tonight for a party for my roomate), but can you think of any topics or tips that might "break the ice" with my roommates or other people in the uni?

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

Renal

"Good day?"
"Homesick?"
"How was school?"
"Fancy a brew?"
"When are you going shopping?"

f they won't engage, there's bugger all you can really do.

Friends will be the one's on your course or in your clubs and socs, not necessarilly your flatmates.

hey
hows life?

Just say daft things, like: "Ahhh you know what, I really can't be bothered washing up"..."Isn't it funny how quickly the weather turns?"..."How you finding your course?"

err, damn, that's exhausted my repertoire of social delights.

Reply 4

"Are you putting on weight?"

There will be many tears that follow this, but through the sorrow you will grow closer and you'll become their best friend. Just try and vary it for each of your housemates so they don't realise its a friend-making method, 'Alright, fatty?' is another one that works. Glad i could help.

Reply 5

cullmac

"i dont know why everyone else keeps bitching about you, i think your a really nice person!" - say this to each of your flat mates, its called divide and conquer my friend :wink:

Reply 6

dementedbunny

"can i mutilate your genitals?" always works for me.

Reply 7

sak-y

cullmac

"i dont know why everyone else keeps bitching about you, i think your a really nice person!" - say this to each of your flat mates, its called divide and conquer my friend :wink:

hahaha! best idea yet!

Reply 8

Elements

Or start humming a song or turn on some music then ask whether they like it then from there see the conversation go from music and other popular culture such as films they featured in or remind you of etc etc to wherever! Not that I am a good person to talk about this- I understand how hard it can be to break the ice and get to know ppl through talking. :hugs:

Reply 9

omlette

Anonymous

Everyone in my lectures seem to have formed groups and I can't manage to fit in. It just doesn't feel right that I'm sitting and just looking around the room while hundreds of people are talking and laughing.

mmmm... mine's a bit like that sometimes. You get days when you chat to the person next to you and u think "wow, i just made a friend!" but then you never sit next to them again, or u get ppl who just say nothing at all to u and ignore u and chat to their friends. Possibly bcos it's easier and more secure to stick to a clique. Making friends takes guts, but then again we are all in the same boat as freshers.

A good convo starter always seems to be eating habits. What you like on toast is a goodie (marmite especially). What you'd usually eat at home. Favourite take out dish, etc. etc. Also, theme parks or gigs are quite good. People love talking about themselves, to just a simple "I hear u went to reading festival..." for eg. and they'll never shut up. And u gain Brownie points for being a gd listener. :p:

Reply 10

Alice 00

nice to see u to see u nice (crouching arm pose and raise eyes to make eye contact) ......then i guarantee the flat mate will say something.

x

Reply 11

rosetinted

The simple rule for getting to know people..everyone loves to talk about themself. Ask a few questions that aren't of the deeply personal variety and bask in the hours of conversation which follow!

Reply 12

TomX

"Fat Penguin... sorry, I just had to say something to break the ice."

lol that's a great line I heard on TV.

Otherwise just start with something that everyone will be able to relate to:
"What OS do you run?"
"Emacs or Vim?"
"Tawny or Chrissy?"

Guarenteed to make an impression to last.

Reply 13

TomX

omlette

People love talking about themselves, to just a simple "I hear u went to reading festival..." for eg. and they'll never shut up. And u gain Brownie points for being a gd listener. :p:

This might sound really callous, but really, why would I want to know about somebody's experience at a festival they went to?

Seems like a waste of time, maybe that's just me.

Reply 14

LadyEnglish

ask for help with some of your work if they're studying the same things, erm ask them to go to the shop with you :confused:

any plans for christmas? etc. aaaaanything, having a laugh/making jokes always works for me :biggrin:

Good luck xxx

Reply 15

paperclip

TomX

This might sound really callous, but really, why would I want to know about somebody's experience at a festival they went to?

Seems like a waste of time, maybe that's just me.

because its a good thing to talk about, if they went there they'll have alot of things to say about it and they'll talk for awhile

Reply 16

Mr. Fox

Read a good newspaper...

Reply 17

britishseapower

I think the best thing to do is to invite someone for a drink, maybe inbetween lectures or something, obviously not a complete stranger, strike up conversation with them first using one of the examples already listed then just invite em for a drink, people relax more when their having a drink and stuff and the conversation should fllow pretty easily