The Student Room Group

Anyone care to read my monologue

So for GCSE Drama i have written a monologue, if you could please take the time and read it + give me feeback i'd be very grateful

"I know that he had as much of a chance as I did. That complaining about it is wrong because I have the right to vote, because sexism doesn’t exist. Because i am a 24 year old girl who doesn’t know any better. I use to get angry, I would shout and I would argue but what’s the point. There was a quote one of my friends sent me on Facebook “nobody cares unless you're pretty or dying” gosh it makes so much sense now. I use to mock girls. Not all of them just some. I told them they were jealous and that feminism was stupid because they weren’t victims. And I thought I was right.

It was 8am. I was refreshing the Gmail page. I knew I had got the job, I was sure of it. The man and I were the last two with a possibility of getting the job. He told them he failed his gcses, I told them I had got straight a’s. He told them he had no experience, I told them I had an internship. He was rude while I was polite. I knew I had got the job I was sure of it. So why didn’t i? it was 8:05 and I read the email.

“Congratulations. You’ve successfully got yourself the job as a cleaner at our Cooperation”

I went there and I told them. I hadn’t applied for a cleaner. I applied to be head of the management team. I walked in with my briefcase and showed them my application. They ripped it up in front of me. They told me that I was a women so I couldn’t possibly have the job. Because I didn’t have a penis I couldn’t possibly have the job. Because even though I had spent 7 years leading up to this moment I couldn’t possible have the job.
I took thwe job in the end. The cleaner job. My student loan wasn’t going to pay itself. It’s minimum wage but beggars can’t be choosers/ Mybe it’s just where I am supposed to be and these floors aren’t going to whip themselves."
That's really good!
Reply 2
Original post by Safiya122
That's really good!


Aww thank you
Reply 3
pooost
Reply 4
Original post by Appazap
So for GCSE Drama i have written a monologue, if you could please take the time and read it + give me feeback i'd be very grateful


I personally enjoyed the linear movement the monologue took. It was very practical and I'd argue realistic to the mentality that this apparent student would have and anyone for that matter; this is further elaborated in their attempt at reassurance made evident by the statement: " I knew I had got the job I was sure of it. So why didn’t i? it was 8:05 and I read the email. " reading this I did feel a sense of realism was added to the monologue: if you're a student wanting to pay for the financial requirements of Uni, you are going to be both anxious about whether you have got the job and slightly stern when considering the circumstance. I.e: "Was I good enough? I don't think I was... oh what am I saying? Of course I was!" - this form of reassurance is common.I also thought the way you approached sexism and concluded it in that final sentence was a rather mature and thought-out way of looking at it.

Overall? I'd say a good job, but could be tweaked a little to make the SPAG more accurate and you're then likely to get more marks via SPAG if you run it through a checker and see what you could do to improve it.
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 5
Just for reference, if you had a minimum wage job you wouldn't have to pay back your loans. Under the new system you have to earn at least £21k before you start your repayments.

It was good, but personally I just felt that the situation you described was unrealistic. But the writing felt realistic, and you got across your message well.
Reply 6
Original post by Swanbow
Just for reference, if you had a minimum wage job you wouldn't have to pay back your loans. Under the new system you have to earn at least £21k before you start your repayments.

It was good, but personally I just felt that the situation you described was unrealistic. But the writing felt realistic, and you got across your message well.


Thank you :smile:
Reply 7
Original post by Magistl
I personally enjoyed the linear movement the monologue took. It was very practical and I'd argue realistic to the mentality that this apparent student would have and anyone for that matter; this is further elaborated in their attempt at reassurance made evident by the statement: " I knew I had got the job I was sure of it. So why didn’t i? it was 8:05 and I read the email. " reading this I did feel a sense of realism was added to the monologue: if you're a student wanting to pay for the financial requirements of Uni, you are going to be both anxious about whether you have got the job and slightly stern when considering the circumstance. I.e: "Was I good enough? I don't think I was... oh what am I saying? Of course I was!" - this form of reassurance is common.I also thought the way you approached sexism and concluded it in that final sentence was a rather mature and thought-out way of looking at it.

Overall? I'd say a good job, but could be tweaked a little to make the SPAG more accurate and you're then likely to get more marks via SPAG if you run it through a checker and see what you could do to improve it.


Yeah i definetly have to get it checked, i just wanted to check what i had writtern wasn't complete garbage. Thank you for the reply :smile:

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