What do I talk about?!

I've been at college for over a year now, inrto my second year and I haven't made ONE long term friend, and it's getting me down.

One of it is that I just don't talk to people, and I'm too quiet and shy. All I say is the usuall hey/how are you/what you been upto/you done you homework etc, but that's it to be honest. Why? Because I really do not know what to talk about. :frown:

There are loads of new people at our smallish college now, but have only talked to about 5 of them. Take this for example...

I was just siting in the canteen when this girl just kept looking at me from the corner of her eye. I knew she was looking a bit, so I looked at her and just flashed a smile! Now at this point I could have said anything to her, but I didn't know what to. :frown:

I was thinking of saying "Hello there. Do I know you?" She would then most likely have said no so I'd have replied with "Well maybewe should fix that?" or something of the sort, but I went kinda shy and curled up into a ball.

So just asking for a bit of advice, apart from the usual stuff when meeting someone such as complimenting their fashion sense, what could I talk about?

Reply 1

beach surf babe

14

The weather?! :biggrin:

Interests-what music your into, what you watched on tv last night, how revolting canteen food is...anything really.

Reply 2

alkaeda

3

stuff your interested in,

what you saw on eastenders last night that was amazing,

gossip about some girl u know who did something stupid / outrageous and whether shes heard about it and what u think of it

which guys u think are fit and what ud like to do to them

u need something that is gonna start FLOWING conversations, not something that is gonna be answered in 1 word responses. Like dont say "the weathers a bit shi*e isnt it, to which the answer in most cases would be "yeah it sucks." and the conversation has ended in an awkward silence.

Talk about ur favourite bands and whether they have the albums.

Talk about ur subject and if ur finding anything hard or what u think of the teachers in it ...

what u did on ur weekened, if u went anywhere, ask them too, and take an INTEREST even if they say something gay like "oh i went to the museum to look at naked pictures.. har har har"

things like that

Reply 3

beach surf babe

14

And ask questions-they might mention they've got a job-ask them what they do-and so the conversation continues.

Reply 4

Juwel

18

You do not need to regard what you say as so precious and important that it needs to be wrapped in some sort of protective ball. Say anything; people appreciate having the ice broken.

Reply 5

alkaeda

3

For example, that girl in ur cafeteria, an ice breaker would be something along the lines of : "so, whens the baby due?" then laugh and say ur just breaking the ice, and then introduce urself "hi im chuck, and i like to F.." etc. u get the point. ha :biggrin:

well it worked for me

Reply 6

generalebriety

16

alkaeda

For example, that girl in ur cafeteria, an ice breaker would be something along the lines of : "so, whens the baby due?" then laugh and say ur just breaking the ice, and then introduce urself "hi im chuck, and i like to F.." etc. u get the point. ha :biggrin:

well it worked for me

*cries* "Am I really that fat?"

Anonymous

I was thinking of saying "Hello there. Do I know you?" She would then most likely have said no so I'd have replied with "Well maybewe should fix that?" or something of the sort, but I went kinda shy and curled up into a ball.

Well, thank god. I'd have told you to **** off. That sounds like a horrible chat-up line so, frankly, I'd keep away from anyone who was using it, especially when we first met. Just talk about anything. Anecdotes. What happened to you yesterday. What your interests are. Ask what subjects they do. Don't come across as heavy-handed, but being a bit forward might be the best option. I have occasionally started conversations with people I don't know like this:

"Funny, really."
"Hmm?"
"We've seen each other around for years and never really spoken properly. I'm (name), how about you? [Leave this out if they know, obviously. :p:

] So how are you?"
"I'm ok, you?"
"I'm not bad thanks. Although..." and proceed with short anecdote. This obviously doesn't always work, but it can make them seem less like they have to do all the talking, which might be putting them off talking to you. Generally people don't seem approachable if you look at someone and think "bloody hell, I'd have a hard time keeping the conversation going with them". So don't make them have to. Again, don't be heavy-handed - but lead the conversation along a bit until they feel ready to start talking to you more. Even if you have to go in the middle of it, be friendly, don't sort of leave any awkward silences (makes them feel awkward more than you), and generally give off an aura of having enjoyed your minute or two talking to that person.

Reply 7

Zafda

8

if you know their name, its usually a good way of starting a convo.
"hey you're called bla bla aren't you?"

apart from that, if you know something about them, thats usually a good way of gettin round to em. talk to them about them, then soon they'll ask about you etc..

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

generalebriety

Well, thank god. I'd have told you to **** off. That sounds like a horrible chat-up line so, frankly, I'd keep away from anyone who was using it, especially when we first met.