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Worst dad ever
Ive never really got along with my dad. Ever since I began secondary school, he doesnt seem to care about me any more.
Never talks to me, ask me about school, life in general, eg. wants nothing to do with my UCAS app. offers no help and support or advice. Seems like a stranger really. He, my mum and I have never been out together for maybe 7 years. When I do speak to him, his responses are usually unfriendly. He just doesnt know how to get on with other human beings. He hasnt a single friend, which explains why. Now hes retired, he spends every day alone at home, and only goes out to buy some groceries. Else, hes sat in front of the TV, doesnt make an effort to do talk. btw Hes 64.
Money seems to be an issue with him. I get £12 for lunch a week. When I need new clothes, we spend 15 mins discussing how Ill spend money and how much I should spend, like a maximum of £10.
Hes very controlling. Has to have the final say in anything, eg. where things are put, he moans about things when he doesnt get his way. i.e. hes selfish and stubborn and doesnt think about me or my mum, only himself and how he feels. Hes hypocritical, and ignorant.
He and my mum never get on either. He treats her bad, not physically but he always moans about the smallest of matters just to piss my mum off on purpose.
Then yesterday, we had a massive argument. And its got to the point where we said we wont ever speak to each other again. He basically disowned me. Im not too bothered about this matter but the fact that Im entering uni in 2007 and I need a student loan. Thus, I need financial details from both my parents. Im only worried about him refusing to declare any.
Also, are there people here whos dad is like the one I described, selfish, a control-freak, stubborn, hypocritical, unfriendly, unapproachable, unsociable, disgruntled, spiteful, sad, uncaring, greedy. Maybe I havnt explained it that well, but what Im trying to point out is that i feel abandoned by my dad. Anyone else feel the same way. Im 17 and male btw.
Never talks to me, ask me about school, life in general, eg. wants nothing to do with my UCAS app. offers no help and support or advice. Seems like a stranger really. He, my mum and I have never been out together for maybe 7 years. When I do speak to him, his responses are usually unfriendly. He just doesnt know how to get on with other human beings. He hasnt a single friend, which explains why. Now hes retired, he spends every day alone at home, and only goes out to buy some groceries. Else, hes sat in front of the TV, doesnt make an effort to do talk. btw Hes 64.
Money seems to be an issue with him. I get £12 for lunch a week. When I need new clothes, we spend 15 mins discussing how Ill spend money and how much I should spend, like a maximum of £10.
Hes very controlling. Has to have the final say in anything, eg. where things are put, he moans about things when he doesnt get his way. i.e. hes selfish and stubborn and doesnt think about me or my mum, only himself and how he feels. Hes hypocritical, and ignorant.
He and my mum never get on either. He treats her bad, not physically but he always moans about the smallest of matters just to piss my mum off on purpose.
Then yesterday, we had a massive argument. And its got to the point where we said we wont ever speak to each other again. He basically disowned me. Im not too bothered about this matter but the fact that Im entering uni in 2007 and I need a student loan. Thus, I need financial details from both my parents. Im only worried about him refusing to declare any.
Also, are there people here whos dad is like the one I described, selfish, a control-freak, stubborn, hypocritical, unfriendly, unapproachable, unsociable, disgruntled, spiteful, sad, uncaring, greedy. Maybe I havnt explained it that well, but what Im trying to point out is that i feel abandoned by my dad. Anyone else feel the same way. Im 17 and male btw.
Reply 1
13
You didnt come out of the closet or anything?
Reply 2
Get a job if you dont already have one, then you can buy your clothes and spend what you like.
Your dad is not the worst ever, so he rubs you up the wrong way sometimes that doesnt make him a long way by far.
You should be happy you have a dad, even tho you might not get on that well.
Look at the good points
Your dad is not the worst ever, so he rubs you up the wrong way sometimes that doesnt make him a long way by far.
You should be happy you have a dad, even tho you might not get on that well.
Look at the good points
Reply 3
Right hiya mate.
I'm telling you, I have felt like this before. Although I'm not sure if my situation was as bad as yours. I felt my father was a bastard but in fact he wasn't that bad.
The day he said sorry was the greatest day of my life. I'm one year younger then you but last year when he threw me out of the house (it was actually my own fault) I vowed to myself never to speak to him again. When I returned home I didn't speak to him for 2 weeks until finally I couldn't take it anymore.
We had a discussion and he said sorry and I said sorry and since that day we haven't had an argument since.
Have you tried talking to him about it? I find it best to talk TO the person I have a problem with, even if its my parents, rather then talking behind there back with other people.
Just my two cents.
I'm telling you, I have felt like this before. Although I'm not sure if my situation was as bad as yours. I felt my father was a bastard but in fact he wasn't that bad.
The day he said sorry was the greatest day of my life. I'm one year younger then you but last year when he threw me out of the house (it was actually my own fault) I vowed to myself never to speak to him again. When I returned home I didn't speak to him for 2 weeks until finally I couldn't take it anymore.
We had a discussion and he said sorry and I said sorry and since that day we haven't had an argument since.
Have you tried talking to him about it? I find it best to talk TO the person I have a problem with, even if its my parents, rather then talking behind there back with other people.
Just my two cents.
Reply 4
me and my dad dont have a problem but him and my older sister do!
(BTW im 17 and female, my sister is 19)
my dad and sister havnt got along for years but it got worse when she went to college. he didnt like the idea of her growing up, she got her first BF, and started going out, getting drunk, not coming home til late, all of the usual teenage stuff really. but even when she behaved well and did what he told her to, they still clashed heads. they would argue about the smallest of things.
they are both stuborn, that is the problem, neither of them will give in or admit that the other is right.
it has caused a problem for my mum because she thinks that they should stop arguing, their constant feuds have made life at home for my mum hell. her and ym dad argue about my sister all the time.
my sister has just moved out and gues what? my dad isnt glad...he's heart broken, because at the end of the day my dad loves her.
what im trying to say is everybody has problems with parents.
the money thing, the answer is get a job, then it wont be a problem anymore. the reason he is beign tight with his money is probably because he wants you to grow up and be responsible for your own money.
(BTW im 17 and female, my sister is 19)
my dad and sister havnt got along for years but it got worse when she went to college. he didnt like the idea of her growing up, she got her first BF, and started going out, getting drunk, not coming home til late, all of the usual teenage stuff really. but even when she behaved well and did what he told her to, they still clashed heads. they would argue about the smallest of things.
they are both stuborn, that is the problem, neither of them will give in or admit that the other is right.
it has caused a problem for my mum because she thinks that they should stop arguing, their constant feuds have made life at home for my mum hell. her and ym dad argue about my sister all the time.
my sister has just moved out and gues what? my dad isnt glad...he's heart broken, because at the end of the day my dad loves her.
what im trying to say is everybody has problems with parents.
the money thing, the answer is get a job, then it wont be a problem anymore. the reason he is beign tight with his money is probably because he wants you to grow up and be responsible for your own money.
Reply 5
Well, one of the reasons why I hate my dad is because of his ill treatment of my mum. He hasnt physically hurt her but emotionally and mentally, through starting arguments, trying to control her every action, being selfish and spiteful of both of us. I dont remember a single day the three of us did anything together, like eat out, cinema, etc. and Im 17! Yes, people may say at least i have a dad, but when he treats us in this way, Id rather he wasnt my dad. Hes so unsociable that hes not had contact from a friend as long as I can remember, nor has he gone out with any friends let alone his family members. He just seems like someone who deserves to spend his entire life in solitude, alone. I mean, the time we ever talk is when i talk to him about football, nothing else. He never ever makes an effort.
I feel embarassed that I have a dad like him. Ill repeat, hes anti-sociable, dislikes changes, wants to be in control, selfish, spiteful, argumentative, ill-tempered, uncaring, unthoughtful. I think about my friends, and how they seem to have wonderful dads, and then I think about mine. If I was a dad, I would only have a child if I was certain that I could support him financially, care for him, make sure hes happy. However, it seems that he doesnt think in the normal way.
I feel embarassed that I have a dad like him. Ill repeat, hes anti-sociable, dislikes changes, wants to be in control, selfish, spiteful, argumentative, ill-tempered, uncaring, unthoughtful. I think about my friends, and how they seem to have wonderful dads, and then I think about mine. If I was a dad, I would only have a child if I was certain that I could support him financially, care for him, make sure hes happy. However, it seems that he doesnt think in the normal way.
Reply 6
Well, one of the reasons why I hate my dad is because of his ill treatment of my mum. He hasnt physically hurt her but emotionally and mentally, through starting arguments, trying to control her every action, being selfish and spiteful of both of us. I dont remember a single day the three of us did anything together, like eat out, cinema, etc. and Im 17! Yes, people may say at least i have a dad, but when he treats us in this way, Id rather he wasnt my dad. Hes so unsociable that hes not had contact from a friend as long as I can remember, nor has he gone out with any friends let alone his family members. He just seems like someone who deserves to spend his entire life in solitude, alone. I mean, the time we ever talk is when i talk to him about football, nothing else. He never ever makes an effort.
I feel embarassed that I have a dad like him. Ill repeat, hes anti-sociable, dislikes changes, wants to be in control, selfish, spiteful, argumentative, ill-tempered, uncaring, unthoughtful. I think about my friends, and how they seem to have wonderful dads, and then I think about mine. If I was a dad, I would only have a child if I was certain that I could support him financially, care for him, make sure hes happy. However, it seems that he doesnt think in the normal way.
I feel embarassed that I have a dad like him. Ill repeat, hes anti-sociable, dislikes changes, wants to be in control, selfish, spiteful, argumentative, ill-tempered, uncaring, unthoughtful. I think about my friends, and how they seem to have wonderful dads, and then I think about mine. If I was a dad, I would only have a child if I was certain that I could support him financially, care for him, make sure hes happy. However, it seems that he doesnt think in the normal way.
Reply 7
slog your guts out and get to a good uni. then in 4 years time refuse to let him come and see you graduate. that was my plan. now i at uni i dont have to think about him. i dont care how petty and childish it is, he should have thought about it 2 years ago. things will work out for you eventually
Reply 8
Nah, Ive never ever thought of giving up, though thats what he would love. Yeh, Im looking forward to Uni, next year, and no thanks to him. Yes, hes given me food and clothes, but thats what any child would expect of a dad who has been working in the city for 30 yrs. A little love and attention would also appreciated from him. btw I dont go to a private school, yet hes so selfish with his money. My plan is to graduate, get a job, move out, buy my mum a nice house and then if hes still alive then, Ill laugh in his face. I dont owe him anything, after he said he wont need my help when hes old. You cant believe how much I hate him.
Reply 9
19
Anonymous
I feel embarassed that I have a dad like him. Ill repeat, hes anti-sociable, dislikes changes, wants to be in control, selfish, spiteful, argumentative, ill-tempered, uncaring, unthoughtful.
Behold every old man in the world.
To be honest, I feel rather sorry for the old bastard. You said he does nothing but watch the telly all day - imagine being in the situation where that is all you have to look forward to until you die. God, I'd have put a bullet in my head if I was him; no wonder he's grumpy.
Reply 10
16
Maybe your mum should divorce him.
Reply 11
nah, divorce will cause too much hassle, stress, etc.
I agree with LibertineNorth, hes been doing this all his life. Weekday - Wake up, go to work, come home, cook, watch tv, sleep, cycle repeats.
Weekend - Wake up 11.30, breakfast, watch tv, lunch, watch tv, tea, watch tv, dinner, wath tv till 2.30am, sleep, cycle repeats.
Sad innit. He doesnt make any effort to have a life, and wants that to happen to me.
I agree with LibertineNorth, hes been doing this all his life. Weekday - Wake up, go to work, come home, cook, watch tv, sleep, cycle repeats.
Weekend - Wake up 11.30, breakfast, watch tv, lunch, watch tv, tea, watch tv, dinner, wath tv till 2.30am, sleep, cycle repeats.
Sad innit. He doesnt make any effort to have a life, and wants that to happen to me.
Reply 12
No point goin anon now is there ronaldisterooy
Reply 13
hi
You would not believe how identical out situations are. I'm even in exactly your yr at school/college and am male too. I have very slowly started to overcome this, so if you want any tips PM me. But it is very very difficult. The only difference is that my situation is the same as yours, but to a slightly lesser extent, ie not as bad. Which i suppose makes your journey even harder than mine.
And anyone who says it helps to talk to your dad abt it, well they really have no clue abt how hard it is.
In a nutshell, it sounds like your dad has either lost the will to live and is just waiting to die, or he really is stupid enough (excuse for calling ur dad stupid) to not realise the pain and stress hes causing for you or your mum by being so miserable and empty.
I think you're doing the right thing by making money and buying your mum a house. I'm trying to do the same thing, so it will give her the chance to get away from him when she needs to. Also it means that she will not be afraid of losing her house and money by leaving your dad, if you can provide for her.
My best advice is keep going down this path, and try not to hate your dad so much, as this is just a process that some middle-aged men go through. Who knows, one day he might just see the light and snap out of it.
As i said, PM me if you need advice or something, cos our situations really are so similar, except mine is starting to improve slowly, so it seems that i am further along that path than you...
You would not believe how identical out situations are. I'm even in exactly your yr at school/college and am male too. I have very slowly started to overcome this, so if you want any tips PM me. But it is very very difficult. The only difference is that my situation is the same as yours, but to a slightly lesser extent, ie not as bad. Which i suppose makes your journey even harder than mine.
And anyone who says it helps to talk to your dad abt it, well they really have no clue abt how hard it is.
In a nutshell, it sounds like your dad has either lost the will to live and is just waiting to die, or he really is stupid enough (excuse for calling ur dad stupid) to not realise the pain and stress hes causing for you or your mum by being so miserable and empty.
I think you're doing the right thing by making money and buying your mum a house. I'm trying to do the same thing, so it will give her the chance to get away from him when she needs to. Also it means that she will not be afraid of losing her house and money by leaving your dad, if you can provide for her.
My best advice is keep going down this path, and try not to hate your dad so much, as this is just a process that some middle-aged men go through. Who knows, one day he might just see the light and snap out of it.
As i said, PM me if you need advice or something, cos our situations really are so similar, except mine is starting to improve slowly, so it seems that i am further along that path than you...
Reply 14
oh **** ofcourse you cant pm cos im anonymous. Well I'll post up that advice soon as i gather my thoughts on them and as it comes to my head, if you want it.
Reply 15
Anonymous
Ive never really got along with my dad. Ever since I began secondary school, he doesnt seem to care about me any more.
Never talks to me, ask me about school, life in general, eg. wants nothing to do with my UCAS app. offers no help and support or advice. Seems like a stranger really. He, my mum and I have never been out together for maybe 7 years. When I do speak to him, his responses are usually unfriendly. He just doesnt know how to get on with other human beings. He hasnt a single friend, which explains why. Now hes retired, he spends every day alone at home, and only goes out to buy some groceries. Else, hes sat in front of the TV, doesnt make an effort to do talk. btw Hes 64.
Money seems to be an issue with him. I get £12 for lunch a week. When I need new clothes, we spend 15 mins discussing how Ill spend money and how much I should spend, like a maximum of £10.
Hes very controlling. Has to have the final say in anything, eg. where things are put, he moans about things when he doesnt get his way. i.e. hes selfish and stubborn and doesnt think about me or my mum, only himself and how he feels. Hes hypocritical, and ignorant.
He and my mum never get on either. He treats her bad, not physically but he always moans about the smallest of matters just to piss my mum off on purpose.
Then yesterday, we had a massive argument. And its got to the point where we said we wont ever speak to each other again. He basically disowned me. Im not too bothered about this matter but the fact that Im entering uni in 2007 and I need a student loan. Thus, I need financial details from both my parents. Im only worried about him refusing to declare any.
Also, are there people here whos dad is like the one I described, selfish, a control-freak, stubborn, hypocritical, unfriendly, unapproachable, unsociable, disgruntled, spiteful, sad, uncaring, greedy. Maybe I havnt explained it that well, but what Im trying to point out is that i feel abandoned by my dad. Anyone else feel the same way. Im 17 and male btw.
Never talks to me, ask me about school, life in general, eg. wants nothing to do with my UCAS app. offers no help and support or advice. Seems like a stranger really. He, my mum and I have never been out together for maybe 7 years. When I do speak to him, his responses are usually unfriendly. He just doesnt know how to get on with other human beings. He hasnt a single friend, which explains why. Now hes retired, he spends every day alone at home, and only goes out to buy some groceries. Else, hes sat in front of the TV, doesnt make an effort to do talk. btw Hes 64.
Money seems to be an issue with him. I get £12 for lunch a week. When I need new clothes, we spend 15 mins discussing how Ill spend money and how much I should spend, like a maximum of £10.
Hes very controlling. Has to have the final say in anything, eg. where things are put, he moans about things when he doesnt get his way. i.e. hes selfish and stubborn and doesnt think about me or my mum, only himself and how he feels. Hes hypocritical, and ignorant.
He and my mum never get on either. He treats her bad, not physically but he always moans about the smallest of matters just to piss my mum off on purpose.
Then yesterday, we had a massive argument. And its got to the point where we said we wont ever speak to each other again. He basically disowned me. Im not too bothered about this matter but the fact that Im entering uni in 2007 and I need a student loan. Thus, I need financial details from both my parents. Im only worried about him refusing to declare any.
Also, are there people here whos dad is like the one I described, selfish, a control-freak, stubborn, hypocritical, unfriendly, unapproachable, unsociable, disgruntled, spiteful, sad, uncaring, greedy. Maybe I havnt explained it that well, but what Im trying to point out is that i feel abandoned by my dad. Anyone else feel the same way. Im 17 and male btw.
my dad can be like that sometimes but a littte more concerned tho, just try and have a conversation about your relationship.
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