Crap time at Uni... Again!!

Would like to start that this will most likely turn out into one long rant!! So sorry about that!...

Basicially last year i had a crap time at Uni, not the Uni itself - i love it here! But everything else! Was on a course i hated and didn't understand (was a foundation year and i had to complete it to start my degree this year), was having really bad personal problems at the time, and due to those problems (i won't bore you with all that!) my corridor/block had bonded without me (i couldn't go to all freshers events) and were basicially ignoring me. At the end of the year, could say i made about 5 friends - all from my course. I was, not depressed, but had like no emotion in me - i just didn't care, but at the end of the year i was determined to make sure this year i'd have the freshers experience i never had.

Another thing to add my boyfriend (who was on the foundation course as me) had now had a sudden change of career path and in clearing applied for the course i was starting, not only that but he was going to be living next to me in halls... this i was really not happy about as he is v clingy and i really wanted my space. But i chose to forget all about this and focus on freshers!!

Move in day, hall (changed from first year) was really nice, comittie were lovely, room was amazing and there was a really good atmosphere... was so exicited, i couldn't wait!! Met rest of corridor, seemed OK - people i probably wouldn't of spoken to normally but they were all really nice (at this point my boyfriend hadn't arrived, was arriving few days later with the returners). During the day, some friends from last year came around to say Hi, my corridor all like hid and ignored me when i tried to introduce everyone, didn't think much of it and they left about 10min later.

Went down to dinning room (in catered hall), was having good convo's and things, was really happy. Then first thing bad to happen, i forgot my wallet so had to run back up to room to get it (we were going to the Union), instead of waiting for me, my corridor just went... luckily from being at the Uni last year i knew which way to go but if i was a fresher would of been alone in the halls! Met up with them in the Union, they didn't say anything, but in the end we had a really good night, so just 'forgot' about it. The next day was my friends birthday, so instead of going with the Hall to a nightclub, i went with my friends to the same one - but still went and spoke to my corridor. Next morning they were making comments about me not joining in on freshers and things... just left them to it. That night the hall was going to a diff club in town and getting Taxi's to it, got in one but at the last mintue some random person jumped in... few min later taxi driver realised and said one of us had to get out (too many in cab)... i was the one who got kicked out. Had to walk 10min back to hall, really wanted to go back to my room but others were still outside waiting for cab so in the end just got in a random one with people i don't know. Eventually got the club, corridor just ignored me and the random lad who jumped in just laughed at me, luckily found someone i knew so spent time with them until girl on my corridor (we're only two girls on it) came over... then once again ended up having a good night! But that was due to we went the Union later and there was a bunch of people i knew from last year out and i was talking to everyone.

By this point i would like to add, my room is next door to the other girls, buy her is a door which leads to everyone else on our corridor - everyone knocks doors for when it's a meal, but at every occasion they had only knocked on her door not mine - so i hadn't actually been to any meals with them.

On Saturday, nothing was planned, so tried my hardest to get talking to my corridor, but they had either gone to things and not told me, watching films in each others rooms and not told me or gone to meal and not told me. Sunday was the day returners were back (including my boyfriend and some people last year i got on with) so just gave up with my corridor. The next day (Sun) all the Halls have a singing competition, once again my corridor just left without me so went with some random people, but that evening i just met up with my returner friends.

Wednesday night was a big night at the Union, was really looking forward to it as i missed it last year. During the afternoon had a lecture, came back, to find that my name (space to put your name in on door's) badge thing had really nasty things written all over it, knew for a fact wasn't any of the returners or the people i did get on with in the hall - so was someone on my corridor, was really upset and in the end didn't go out. Last night i had to stay in (loads of work already!) and i heard people on my corridor make comments on what they wrote on my name and why have i taken it down - so that's just got me upset again.

In lectures i've barely had the chance to talk to others, put being put into groups next week so that should change... i'm also a member in a few clubs, so all hope isn't lost yet - so i'm not wanting to leave Uni or anything, just wanted to get this all off my chest.

All the reutrens on my corridor are male, yes we all get along, but then go off and do 'lads' nights pretty much all the time, and i can't really have a good convo with them. And my corridor are just pretty much ignoring me and i don't know why. I had a really bad year last year, and wanted to make this time around amazing, but it's been just as bad. Tomorrow is the Freshers Ball, due to problems last year only went for like 1hr, so was looking forward to this one - but i'm not going now as i have no one (as in groups of friends) to go with. I worked my hardest to ensure i was at Uni this year, and it feels like it's all been one big waste.

Sorry for going on loads btw, well done if you read it all!! Just really needed to get this all off my chest!

-x-

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Reply 1

JayEm

It seems your main problem is you live with a load of pricks. Regarding the cab incident, were you the only girl in there? They must be really horrible if they made you get out and walk, not very gentleman like, if you ask me.

Reply 2

Frogsofhope

sounds kinda like my problem although mine was squished closer together, when iw ent to uni first month i didnt manage to bond with housemates n they turned nasty so i moved to a diff flat who had already bonded n started by letting me in then gradually turned to disliking me and exclluding me from everything.

however i joined a society and made a group of peopel i really get on with, even though i have left that uni now i still keep contact and go see friends from this society, i even met my bf there. so attend the socities chances are the peopel will be similar to you and you will be able to make friends more easily

good luck xxxxxx

Reply 3

baby_emmy

That is the problem really, just really depresses me! As i had pretty much same situation as last year! Other girl on my corridor was sat in the front, and was me and 2 other lads..then a 3rd jumped in

-x-

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

aww, well the flatmates thing can be hit & miss - Just make friends in clubs and societies and stuff and if needs be go out with people from your course.

I understand where you’re coming from though; my housemates are just a really boring group! They hardly went out in freshers week and just stayed in and watched TV!!

I'm a guy stuck with another guy and 4 girls! One girl’s works, one girl is always in her room with her bf, one girl doesn't like going out and the other goes out with her mates! We've only did a couple of 'group' things in the last 3 weeks!! :eek:

I'm going mad....

We do chat and watch TV together though so it's not all that bad, IF only they just went out a little more... :redface:

Reply 5

tinkerbellejess

Your flatmates seem like a bunch of ******s! Just throw yourself into making friends with people in your societies and seminars, and hopefully it'll get better soon, you're very lucky that you do already know people on campus from the year before, but that's no reason for your flatmates to freeze you out xx

Reply 6

baby_emmy

Thanks people :smile:

Yeah i plan to put all my effort into making friends when i get put into groups and when the clubs i've joined start... just atm v lonely!!

-x-

Reply 7

baby_emmy

Sorry to post again, but gone all depressed now :frown:

Tonight is one of main nights at the Uni, was planning to go with my boyfriend and some returners on my floor. All evening my corridor have been visiting the girl next to me, all been getting ready - felt really left out but focused on enjoying myself tonight!

Just found out that my boyfriend and the other few i was suppose to be going out with, have now each made separate plans (going to people's houses/going into town etc) - i would go join but i don't get on with their friends. So now i'm having another lonely night alone :frown:

Been trying to call my parents to see if i could go home for the weekend for a break of it all (only live 1hr away from Uni) but they haven't responded - it's like everyone is deserting me!!.... oh well

-x-

Reply 8

her0n

Sounds similar to my experience of halls at uni. Basically I lived with knobends :frown:

Reply 9

MagicNMedicine

this is proper immature behaviour, sounds like they are labelling you as an outsider because you arent a fresher, and the non-personalitied sheep amongst them will be jumping on the bandwagon of isolating you or picking on you

not sure what your uni is like but if this was Leeds it would be pretty easy to move accommodation, a lad joined our flat in halls because of having a similar experience to you in his catered hall in the first semester and he was hating it, so he moved in with us and ended up really liking it....I'd check out moving out of accommodation

also whats your boyfriend doing about this, if you're being left alone and isolated its poor form for him not to pick up on it and especially going off making other plans and leaving you - having a partner living near you isn't ideal for a few reasons, but you shouldn't be feeling alone, so he needs to get his backside into gear and start looking after you

Reply 10

GTi

you don't seem to get on with many ppl.

Reply 11

JKing84

I didnt have a great 1st yr last yr and packed it in by Christmas. Received alot of bad attitude from people on my course for no reason. I stuck two fingers up to the lot of them and your best doing a similar thing and not bothering with them but concentrate on your friends from last year, boyfriend and meeting new people outside of your flat. If you feel that this isnt enough maybe you should consider moving flats in the halls.
Good luck though.

Reply 12

baby_emmy

^It's not so much taking the hint - just that sometimes (like when i do meet up with them) we all get on fine, loads of comments have been made about myself and the girl next door act like we've been friends for years. So reason why i've been trying so much, incase there was a friendship there and i was just being too quick to give up on it.

The Beast

you don't seem to get on with many ppl.

Within my halls, no. But otherwise, i do get on with people, it's just making the 'friendship' that doesn't seem to happen.

Anonymous

No offence, but have you ever thought that this girl could be one of those people have said "oh my god, hide! It's him/her!".

We've all done it. Maybe the OP is a geek and gay to be around. More likely to be the minority than the majority who is in the wrong.

I wouldn't want to hang around with her- she sounds like a boring bell end.

If i was one of 'those people' - then surely i wouldn't of gone out in the evenings anyway? Or not bothered trying to talk to people? I know this post has made me sound like a quite/shy person, but i'm far from that - just these people at Uni!!

I know not everyone gets on, just for two years running it's happened! And before you make a comment on that, the block i was in last year were a strange bunch, everyone within the hall hated them... even the warden!!

Thank you to everyone else replying, really nice messages and ideas. I'm going to talk to the Warden and ask can i be moved, if not to a diff block then a diff hall

-x-

Reply 13

samba

brave girl; not posting anonymous. I'll take the time to read this.

Reply 14

samba

Perhaps they're a little intimidated by you. I mean, I can kind of relate to some of the things. I'll post a series of points in no particular order..make of it what you will and disseminate it yourself.. I dunno. Incidentally, I'm not saying anything is your fault

1. Perhaps your flatmates feel/felt intimidated by the fact you already know people from outside? Also the bf thing could make divisions.

2. Did you actually say, "hold on a minute, I've forgot my wallet," and nobody waited for you? thats a bit rude of them

3. Your sharing a corridoor with a bunch of blokes...Unless you're planning on giving a lot of blowjobs or are the type of girl that really gets on well in a lads group I suggest you're gonna want to move..your bf may get jealous or whatever too if your such close friends with them.
I lived with mainly girls in my 1st year and never really "bonded" so well as I could have. I mean...we were all friendly etc and had communal meals and stuff but there was never a spark there.

On the other hand I had mates from outside who i was constantly out with and had round, and a couple of my flat girls would sometimes come out with us when they wanted life in the fast lane.

What was written on the name badge?

My advice at the moment I think.... get your head down and look to make friends in other places. You'll really enjoy it once you get into a group of friends mes thinks. Rethink your position in a coupla weeks...

go to the freshers ball: just go: try and talk to random groups and just tag onto one. There WILL be nice people out there that you can get along with. If all else fails just get horribly drunk.

Reply 15

NaN

No offence, but you're not the best at taking hints. They obviously don't like you, so leave them alone. There's a guy in colege who nobody likes, and he follows everyone and repeatedly comes back to us after we ditch him, and as a result everyone hates him more. Leave them alone.

Reply 16

samba

RJ89

Yea, shes got people from last year coming round to say hi because shes such an unlikeable person :rolleyes:

Reply 17

NaN

samba

Yea, shes got people from last year coming round to say hi because shes such an unlikeable person :rolleyes:

I didn't say she was unlikeable, jsut that the people in her halls don't like her. I'm sure there are people you don't like that other people like?

It says nothing about her personally, just that they don't get on with her!

Reply 18

samba

RJ89

Thats better :smile:

Your original comment was crappy for somebody whos obviously going to be insecure as hell about herself and personality right now.

Equating it to the guy "nobody likes in college" was harsh!

Reply 19

jonjoe

Cheer up babe, whats the worst that could happen, you hate it so much you leave the uni go back home for a year get a good job make some friends then go to a new uni completly in sept? Sounds quite fun to me.
Im abit worried about you and your bf, you seem to be very negative about him, are you still together, im sure he will support you if your feel lonely?
Stay strong