Crap time at Uni... Again!!

Would like to start that this will most likely turn out into one long rant!! So sorry about that!...

Basicially last year i had a crap time at Uni, not the Uni itself - i love it here! But everything else! Was on a course i hated and didn't understand (was a foundation year and i had to complete it to start my degree this year), was having really bad personal problems at the time, and due to those problems (i won't bore you with all that!) my corridor/block had bonded without me (i couldn't go to all freshers events) and were basicially ignoring me. At the end of the year, could say i made about 5 friends - all from my course. I was, not depressed, but had like no emotion in me - i just didn't care, but at the end of the year i was determined to make sure this year i'd have the freshers experience i never had.

Another thing to add my boyfriend (who was on the foundation course as me) had now had a sudden change of career path and in clearing applied for the course i was starting, not only that but he was going to be living next to me in halls... this i was really not happy about as he is v clingy and i really wanted my space. But i chose to forget all about this and focus on freshers!!

Move in day, hall (changed from first year) was really nice, comittie were lovely, room was amazing and there was a really good atmosphere... was so exicited, i couldn't wait!! Met rest of corridor, seemed OK - people i probably wouldn't of spoken to normally but they were all really nice (at this point my boyfriend hadn't arrived, was arriving few days later with the returners). During the day, some friends from last year came around to say Hi, my corridor all like hid and ignored me when i tried to introduce everyone, didn't think much of it and they left about 10min later.

Went down to dinning room (in catered hall), was having good convo's and things, was really happy. Then first thing bad to happen, i forgot my wallet so had to run back up to room to get it (we were going to the Union), instead of waiting for me, my corridor just went... luckily from being at the Uni last year i knew which way to go but if i was a fresher would of been alone in the halls! Met up with them in the Union, they didn't say anything, but in the end we had a really good night, so just 'forgot' about it. The next day was my friends birthday, so instead of going with the Hall to a nightclub, i went with my friends to the same one - but still went and spoke to my corridor. Next morning they were making comments about me not joining in on freshers and things... just left them to it. That night the hall was going to a diff club in town and getting Taxi's to it, got in one but at the last mintue some random person jumped in... few min later taxi driver realised and said one of us had to get out (too many in cab)... i was the one who got kicked out. Had to walk 10min back to hall, really wanted to go back to my room but others were still outside waiting for cab so in the end just got in a random one with people i don't know. Eventually got the club, corridor just ignored me and the random lad who jumped in just laughed at me, luckily found someone i knew so spent time with them until girl on my corridor (we're only two girls on it) came over... then once again ended up having a good night! But that was due to we went the Union later and there was a bunch of people i knew from last year out and i was talking to everyone.

By this point i would like to add, my room is next door to the other girls, buy her is a door which leads to everyone else on our corridor - everyone knocks doors for when it's a meal, but at every occasion they had only knocked on her door not mine - so i hadn't actually been to any meals with them.

On Saturday, nothing was planned, so tried my hardest to get talking to my corridor, but they had either gone to things and not told me, watching films in each others rooms and not told me or gone to meal and not told me. Sunday was the day returners were back (including my boyfriend and some people last year i got on with) so just gave up with my corridor. The next day (Sun) all the Halls have a singing competition, once again my corridor just left without me so went with some random people, but that evening i just met up with my returner friends.

Wednesday night was a big night at the Union, was really looking forward to it as i missed it last year. During the afternoon had a lecture, came back, to find that my name (space to put your name in on door's) badge thing had really nasty things written all over it, knew for a fact wasn't any of the returners or the people i did get on with in the hall - so was someone on my corridor, was really upset and in the end didn't go out. Last night i had to stay in (loads of work already!) and i heard people on my corridor make comments on what they wrote on my name and why have i taken it down - so that's just got me upset again.

In lectures i've barely had the chance to talk to others, put being put into groups next week so that should change... i'm also a member in a few clubs, so all hope isn't lost yet - so i'm not wanting to leave Uni or anything, just wanted to get this all off my chest.

All the reutrens on my corridor are male, yes we all get along, but then go off and do 'lads' nights pretty much all the time, and i can't really have a good convo with them. And my corridor are just pretty much ignoring me and i don't know why. I had a really bad year last year, and wanted to make this time around amazing, but it's been just as bad. Tomorrow is the Freshers Ball, due to problems last year only went for like 1hr, so was looking forward to this one - but i'm not going now as i have no one (as in groups of friends) to go with. I worked my hardest to ensure i was at Uni this year, and it feels like it's all been one big waste.

Sorry for going on loads btw, well done if you read it all!! Just really needed to get this all off my chest!

-x-

Scroll to see replies

Reply 20

Anonymous #2

yeah ur bf - whats up with him? Why is he ur bf anyway - cos from ur posts u dont seem to like him. can u not talk to ur bf? Is he there just so u have the status of having a partner?

Reply 21

Jennybean

God I know pity isn't the nicest thing but I feel so sorry for you. I'm amazed you're managing to deal with it all so maturely. To everyone who's saying "maybe she's just gay to hang around with", well yeah she might be but how would the people in her corridor know that? They haven't even been around her one week. Nobody's given her a chance but unfortunately it's human nature that everyone will gang up if someone starts. OP, I think you should get home for a weekend if you can, and get some emotional rest, then think about how you're going to handle this. If you appear weak, people will pick on you more. The whole name tag incident is just plain bullying and they don't know you so if I was you I would knock on everyone's doors, get them all out and just say plain and simple, "I won't tolerate this kind of behaviour, this is university not primary school and if it happens again, I'll be reporting you". Colleges don't look kindly on 18 and 19 year olds who still think it's ok to behave like children. Tell them all that you're willing to forgive their behaviour if they'll start again and not keep dropping you, kicking you out of taxis (TOTALLY unacceptable btw) and ignoring you. Explain that you like to have a good time as much as anyone else and that you have friends from last year to make the social group more interesting - then suggest places you could all go and have a few drinks. If they still behave like pricks then just give up because you'll have done your best. Stay in touch with your old friends, hang out with your boyfriend and try and make friends in other ways, like the clubs you've mentioned. Work hard and the year will be over before you know it. I just hope you don't have another bad experience cos you sound like a really nice person.

Reply 22

baby_emmy

Sorry just re-read what i put about my bf, was a bit negative! There's a lot more to the relationship that i won't go into, mainly as i'm not posting anonymously and it's unfair to post things he might not want me to post. But it is all good, was probably just because i was down when first originally posting that i made it sound worse than it is.

samba, to your first point i was starting to think that, as every time i've introduced them to friends from year before they just go quiet. I did say 'hang on, just running upstairs for wallet' - i put it mainly down to that they are freshers and were worried they would be missing out, i would of been thinking that if i was one of them tbh!

To RJ89, reason why i 'wouldn't leave them alone' as people are saying, was because that's what i did last year - so in a way was making sure i wasn't too quick to judge this year. I wasn't following them around or anything! Basically from the Friday (arrived on Wednesday) i had faced the fact that yes - they don't like me, but i didn't really want to recluse myself from them, if that makes sense?...Giving them the satisfaction of 'winning' type thing.... (Sorry that probably makes no sense at all!)

Going home next weekend, and the clubs start that week also, so i'm looking forward to a lot and trying not to dwell. Just really wanted to get everything off my chest and thanks to everyone who replied! Many of you have posted points and advice that i'm having a good think about

-x-

Reply 23

timbuck2

hey,

1st rule of uni - dont rely on anyone - reliablity and students dont bode well - in general anyway

anyway i get on with all my ppl in my block BUT i share nothing in common with them in terms of interst and music...

well i went to the union with them, manage to bump into some random guys - the kinda normal ppl i would hang out with, and they are from diff halls.... so im never at my halls -

ppl on the block still question me not going out with them, but hey its my choice lol

if u dont get on with ppl on ur block screw them, get new friends

Reply 24

40550

if you can, you should move halls. you don't deserve to be singled out like that. but in the meantime, you could try and get to the bottom of why they don't like you so much.. then tell them to go **** themselves.

Reply 25

benisright

dont be too quick to judge, but a guy kicked you out of a cab.

I have no time for that. id have jumped out if i was the only guy, and if another guy had jumped out instead of me i would have bought them a drink or something. These people ARE pricks and you're better than them. Just wake up and realise it, and be more confident.

Also, dump the bf.

Reply 26

Lib

baby_emmy

Thank you to everyone else replying, really nice messages and ideas. I'm going to talk to the Warden and ask can i be moved, if not to a diff block then a diff hall

There's a space in my block in Elvyn!!

Reply 27

baby_emmy

benisright

Just wake up and realise it, and be more confident.

I know they don't like me!!! Sorry, i don't know how i sounded to others from my post... but yeah basically from the Friday morning i knew that (Not saying that i thought they liked me before that but i hadn't given up hope till then)! :redface:

(The whole taxi incident happened that night btw)

I was still trying to make an effort as they are my corridor - if i like it or not - and i have 23 days of freshers... i have no one else to go out with bar them! It's all well and good making friends with others within the hall (which i have) but people are v 'clicky' in freshers and prefer to stay with corridor... Do in DC anyway!

I know things will get better after next week (freshers is over then), plus i'll be in tutor groups/AU clubs etc, i was just needing to get everything off my chest!! Spoken to Wardens, even the Hall Chair (who agreed my corridor is a strange bunch!!)... Hall Chair said he'd keep an eye out and action will be taken if anything else happens that can be seen as bullying, and wardens said to wait to see if things improve (i.e. if when clubs etc start everything gets more positive!) before i move... but i can move now if i want... so things already starting to look good :smile:

-x-

ps - Thx Lib!! lol! It a nice room??

Reply 28

benisright

come to falk egg.....its so much fun

Reply 29

saoirse

I am so, so thankful im not in a similar position anymore

I didnt click with my class at uni in Dublin. Eurgh i pretty much hated going to school there, but i wouldnt change the fact that i did, cos i met some amazing people and had some great times and learned a lot

But i am SO glad i moved uni. i LOVE where i am now :biggrin:

Reply 30

SugarExplosion

Come to Elvyn :smile:

I'm sure you'll be fine soon, libby :frown:

I don't know why they don't like you, but I guess it's just hit and miss who you end up with really. You're always welcome on my floor! Least when we get to cheerleading and dance there'll be more people you can talk to eh? :smile:

*big hugs*

Reply 31

danni_bella

lessthanthree

that's terrible - I mean you've made an effort with them. I think your best bet is just to keep your head down this year, and get a house with people who really matter next year. do not bend over for people not worth your time.

:dito: Always next year :cool:

Reply 32

jumpinglunch

tbh you dn't need "close" friends from your block,i know all the people in my block on a name basis but we just don;t click enough,instead all the people i go out with are in many different blocks and halls,i think its better because i get introduced 2 soo many ppl, instead of just going out with my block and keeping 2 ourselves.