How to say NO to people

I know people take advantage of me and for some reason I feel guilty if I say no to them, in particular there’s this girl in my psychology class who constantly uses me when she wants to copy my work or take my notes home after that she wouldn’t speak to me again or even look at me.

I feel like im making progress although i still feel bad about saying no, so I need some advice on what to say to this girl next time when she asks for something. Please advice me because this really angers me.

Reply 1

Mrs_F

15

Just say "no!"

You know that people are using you, so don't let them. Stand up for yourself, people will respect you more if you do!

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Also I've got my mark for the test i did in psychology last week and im afraid she'll be asking for that too since i got the highest marks in the class. So i really dont know what i'll say to her and i'll probably end up giving it to her, but i really dont want to give to her since she'll just copy word for word and then not talk to me after that.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

thats the problem i cant say no but i really need an excuse.

"No!"

Anonymous

thats the problem i cant say no but i really need an excuse.[/

How about, oh ***, hi maybe it's my imagination but I kinda feel that you only ever speak to me when you need something, lecture notes etc and I know I'm probably over-reacting, being an over-sensitive type!! Lol!!

See what the reaction is, hopefully she will be flushed with :redface:

Reply 6

Mrs_F

15

Anonymous

Also I've got my mark for the test i did in psychology last week and im afraid she'll be asking for that too since i got the highest marks in the class. So i really dont know what i'll say to her and i'll probably end up giving it to her, but i really dont want to give to her since she'll just copy word for word and then not talk to me after that.

Don't give her it - you don't need an excuse other than do your own work - she can't copy and you can't help when you have your exams. You are doing her a favour by not letting her copy, so that she can actually learn stuff for herself!

Reply 7

iceman_jondoe

18

i find it hard to say no sometimes too. i tend to fear that by saying no i will disappoint someone i try to make everyone happy :smile:

but i guess at times you have to put your foot down and just say NEIN!

Reply 8

ImperceptibleNinja

13

Anonymous

I know people take advantage of me and for some reason I feel guilty if I say no to them, in particular there’s this girl in my psychology class who constantly uses me when she wants to copy my work or take my notes home after that she wouldn’t speak to me again or even look at me.

I feel like im making progress although i still feel bad about saying no, so I need some advice on what to say to this girl next time when she asks for something. Please advice me because this really angers me.

You could try telling her why you think letting her copy your work is wrong? I've found that tactic quite successful in other situations.

Reply 9

username47781

20

You must learn to say NO, otherwise one of these days you will get in trouble.

Reply 10

67382

Just tell her you left them in your locker/at home.

Reply 11

Ywiss

15

Haha, I always had problems with saying no to people - my advice is just to be really forgetful. If she asks for your Psych notes again, say, "Sure, of course! Can I give them to you tomorrow?" Then 'forget'. If she asks again, say, "Oh, silly me, I'll bring them tomorrow!" Rinse, and repeat. Eventually she'll just give up and go somewhere else. Remember - she can't make you give them to her. It's your work. She's just seeing how far she can push you.

Good luck!

Reply 12

dh00001

16

push her into the road then you wont need to say no to her :p:

dont REALLY do that

Reply 13

Anonymous #2

You know that they arent good people if they take advnatage like that, dont talk to them, if you cant say no, dont say anything.

Ignore them and hang around with people who can see you have a small problem and wont exploit it.

Reply 14

walalang

1

Alex_K

Just tell her you left them in your locker/at home.

Reply 15

sal33m

1

Have you ever tried askin her for something YOU want. I used to have this problem too, but i found when i took advantage of people who took advantage of me they usually got the message.

Reply 16

britishseapower

14

Anonymous

I know people take advantage of me and for some reason I feel guilty if I say no to them, in particular there’s this girl in my psychology class who constantly uses me when she wants to copy my work or take my notes home after that she wouldn’t speak to me again or even look at me.

I feel like im making progress although i still feel bad about saying no, so I need some advice on what to say to this girl next time when she asks for something. Please advice me because this really angers me.

In my first year at uni, a girl like that use to come to me for advice all the time and I would practically have to tell her word for word what to put, might as well have wrote her essay myself. Well the first time, I felt sorry for her as I genuinely though she had just fallen behind as it was the first essay due in so I helped her and then I helped her for the 2nd one too but all the time I was saying to her, don't leave it until the night before, start doing it now and like I was trying to help her and stuff but come the 3rd essay, she was back again so I just told her to do one basically. She was obviously taking the piss by that point and I had to 'say no' as A) the time I was spending helping her could have been spent doing my own work and B) she will learn anything if she has someone to pull her out of the **** all the time so in the long term, it was actually for her benefit. Plus there was the risk I would get done for plagiarism.

Reply 17

britishseapower

14

Ywiss

Haha, I always had problems with saying no to people - my advice is just to be really forgetful. If she asks for your Psych notes again, say, "Sure, of course! Can I give them to you tomorrow?" Then 'forget'. If she asks again, say, "Oh, silly me, I'll bring them tomorrow!" Rinse, and repeat. Eventually she'll just give up and go somewhere else. Remember - she can't make you give them to her. It's your work. She's just seeing how far she can push you.

Good luck!

Although I don't want to discredit your advice, I think its better to just be straightforward with her, just say I'm not helping you anymore, don't play games or try and disguise what your doing, just tell her that your done with helping her. Trust me, you will feel like **** for doing it but it feels brilliant once you have done it and you won't have her nagging you anymore and even though she will probably be pissed off, I think she will respect you more in the long term for putting your foot down instead of being walked all over.

Reply 18

thatwhichiam

14

At first, if you aren't as confient about it, use and excuse - oh I forgot them, or 'oh I wanted to revise the past term's work tonight'. Don't give in to begging and pleading. If she still comes after your notes, it'll be easier the second time. Maybe you can even tell it to her straight then, how you don't like being taken advantage of.

Reply 19

Ywiss

15

britishseapower

Although I don't want to discredit your advice, I think its better to just be straightforward with her, just say I'm not helping you anymore, don't play games or try and disguise what your doing, just tell her that your done with helping her. Trust me, you will feel like **** for doing it but it feels brilliant once you have done it and you won't have her nagging you anymore and even though she will probably be pissed off, I think she will respect you more in the long term for putting your foot down instead of being walked all over.

I totally accept that - and saying a straightforward "No" is what I would do now in this situation. However, as the OP says that s/he is unused to saying no, and would find it extremely difficult, I was offering him/her another solution - perhaps not as "brave", but easier, especially just as a starting point to being assertive.

How to say NO to people

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