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Lies, lies and more lies : (
Basicly, I have been friends with a girl from uni since beginning of the year and recently I have been lying to her big time.
This is not pathetic lies but big big lies and today I got found out in the worst way imagineable.
Me and my friend fell out some time ago but she had kept in touch with a younger sibling of mine. I had lied to her (when we were friends) about having a disease that required an operation. She believed all this and until today she had thought it was true.
I never meant to make the lie get so big though, she believed it all the time and today it all blew up.
My younger sibling was talking to her on MSN, trying to get me and her to be friends again when my friend mentioned the lie. My sibling knew nothing of this and told her the whole truth about me never having a disease or an operation when I said I did.
The whole time I never wanted the lie to go any further but once it had started I couldn't find it in myself to stop.
Basicly, is there anything I can do or say to make this right?
We havn't spoken in ages although we have MSN, I am blocked by her on it.
I have emailed her already saying that I need to explain myself but other than that what should or can I do if she unblocks me or wants me to explain?
And the inevitable question, do you think we will ever be friends again?
Knowing that now she knows all these lies she can see why I was being strange which was why she fell out with me etc. etc.
This is not pathetic lies but big big lies and today I got found out in the worst way imagineable.
Me and my friend fell out some time ago but she had kept in touch with a younger sibling of mine. I had lied to her (when we were friends) about having a disease that required an operation. She believed all this and until today she had thought it was true.
I never meant to make the lie get so big though, she believed it all the time and today it all blew up.
My younger sibling was talking to her on MSN, trying to get me and her to be friends again when my friend mentioned the lie. My sibling knew nothing of this and told her the whole truth about me never having a disease or an operation when I said I did.
The whole time I never wanted the lie to go any further but once it had started I couldn't find it in myself to stop.
Basicly, is there anything I can do or say to make this right?
We havn't spoken in ages although we have MSN, I am blocked by her on it.
I have emailed her already saying that I need to explain myself but other than that what should or can I do if she unblocks me or wants me to explain?
And the inevitable question, do you think we will ever be friends again?
Knowing that now she knows all these lies she can see why I was being strange which was why she fell out with me etc. etc.
Scroll to see replies
Why did you lie in the first place?
It's all very well saying you want to be friends again, but you've broken her trust and that's something that takes time to rebuild - you won't be able to change her mind about you overnight. Give her some time.
It's all very well saying you want to be friends again, but you've broken her trust and that's something that takes time to rebuild - you won't be able to change her mind about you overnight. Give her some time.
It just started one day when she asked me why I was late to a lecture and I made up this cock & bull story 
It is a really sick lie and I admit that I really wanted to get out of it but the way she reacted I couldn't just say only joking or whatever I had already drawn her in
I only just emailed her about 20 minutes ago and she is offline right now, if she doesn't reply in next few days should I try again and what should I say if I do?
I can talk to her in person, which I think I should do to admit myself I was lying and let her say what she feels to me in person would probably make it easier for her?
It is a really sick lie and I admit that I really wanted to get out of it but the way she reacted I couldn't just say only joking or whatever I had already drawn her in
I only just emailed her about 20 minutes ago and she is offline right now, if she doesn't reply in next few days should I try again and what should I say if I do?
I can talk to her in person, which I think I should do to admit myself I was lying and let her say what she feels to me in person would probably make it easier for her?
Anonymous
It just started one day when she asked me why I was late to a lecture and I made up this cock & bull story
So she asked why you were late and you told her because you had a disease?
Surely you could have just said that you lost track of time or any of the general excuses people make every day - it's not like she's the lecturer or going to get you in trouble.
If there's anything to learn from this story is that lying is not good especially over something so trivial and insignificant. You just spun a huge web of lies and could easily have broken it at any opportunity but you continued to deceive her.
Apologise once more, then take a major lesson from this as you could very well have lost a person's trust that you'll never get back.
Why lie, honesty is more likely to win you friends.
It was by text that she asked me because she just noticed I had arrived late and didn't manage to speak or see each other during or after the lecture.
I suppose it was an attention sort of thing even though I have never been an attention seaker before, far from it in fact! I'm usually a silent and hidden person don't want or bring any attention to myself.
I don't want to make excuses, I knew I had to admit this to her at some point, I hate the way it has turned out her hearing this all from my younger sister who told her the whole truth and put her straight.
I need to regain her trust and I know it won't be easy, far from it I expect, but what way should I go about doing so?
I am going to talk to her in person on Monday whether she emails back or not because don't want to loose a friend if I can help it. A really good friend at that.
I suppose it was an attention sort of thing even though I have never been an attention seaker before, far from it in fact! I'm usually a silent and hidden person don't want or bring any attention to myself.
I don't want to make excuses, I knew I had to admit this to her at some point, I hate the way it has turned out her hearing this all from my younger sister who told her the whole truth and put her straight.
I need to regain her trust and I know it won't be easy, far from it I expect, but what way should I go about doing so?
I am going to talk to her in person on Monday whether she emails back or not because don't want to loose a friend if I can help it. A really good friend at that.
I have to say if I was her, I wouldnt be keen on seeing you agin. why lie when you knew she could find out your lies?!
We fell out around about just before the end of term last year so June/July.
It was because we would text and then she would then say 'I'm not texting you any more because I feel its getting to close and feeling awkward'. So then she never texted any more and eventually we had an arguement and she thought I had been the source or cause of a load of prank calls she had been receiving (which I had not).
Now we havn't talked since the summer because she knew there was something I wasn't telling her but she said this in a strange way by saying she didn't want to talk to me because she didn't like me'.
Only today she found out my series of lies so I'm hoping this has cleared the air and she can think about our future as friends if there is one, which I hope there can be or will be even if it takes some time.
It was because we would text and then she would then say 'I'm not texting you any more because I feel its getting to close and feeling awkward'. So then she never texted any more and eventually we had an arguement and she thought I had been the source or cause of a load of prank calls she had been receiving (which I had not).
Now we havn't talked since the summer because she knew there was something I wasn't telling her but she said this in a strange way by saying she didn't want to talk to me because she didn't like me'.
Only today she found out my series of lies so I'm hoping this has cleared the air and she can think about our future as friends if there is one, which I hope there can be or will be even if it takes some time.
Well you screwed up big time and you've nobody to blame but yourself. Anyway, give her time, if she still wants to be friends with you then its gonna happen. If not, then just move on buddy
You have problems seek help. Did you not get enough attention at home or something?
Sharp_Shooter
Well you screwed up big time and you've nobody to blame but yourself. Anyway, give her time, if she still wants to be friends with you then its gonna happen. If not, then just move on buddy
To the OP: it's ok, you've made a mistake and everyone makes mistakes but we can learn from them
A true friend will accept you for who you are, but for them to even do that - well you gotta be telling them the truth hun
Best of luck, and I can see that you're sorry and are making an effort - good on you x x
Thank you for the replies since I last posted, nice advice.
She emailed me back last night and subsequently we spoke for a while on MSN and she unblocked me so that I could explain myself.
I said I had no excuse for it and don't know what to say, just really sorry for what its done all the worry its caused. She just asked why, its the hardest question but she didn't get pissed off with me or rant and rave.
She told me she was glad I had told her and at least she knew she just wished I told her not my sister.
Any way, she is still friends with my sister, as for me I don't know, she said she doesn't want to talk to me right now, although she has forgiven me. So maybe she can consider what I have done and talk to me again, but I'm not going to get my hopes up when wouldn't blame her not to talk to me again!
I'm thinking of talking to her more in person possibly on Monday, explain why or just simply talk to her, a start on trying to regain her trust perhaps?
She's a great person and I really have f****ed this up so much and worst thing was there was no reason to do it and just spiraled out of control.
She emailed me back last night and subsequently we spoke for a while on MSN and she unblocked me so that I could explain myself.
I said I had no excuse for it and don't know what to say, just really sorry for what its done all the worry its caused. She just asked why, its the hardest question but she didn't get pissed off with me or rant and rave.
She told me she was glad I had told her and at least she knew she just wished I told her not my sister.
Any way, she is still friends with my sister, as for me I don't know, she said she doesn't want to talk to me right now, although she has forgiven me. So maybe she can consider what I have done and talk to me again, but I'm not going to get my hopes up when wouldn't blame her not to talk to me again!
I'm thinking of talking to her more in person possibly on Monday, explain why or just simply talk to her, a start on trying to regain her trust perhaps?
She's a great person and I really have f****ed this up so much and worst thing was there was no reason to do it and just spiraled out of control.
Don't push it for a few days i'd say. Play it by ear on monday, if you happen to cross each other's paths say hi and don't ignore her as that'd just be rude. But no need to go into it unless she brings it up. The way i see it is that you've progressed by at least speaking to her and explaining and her unblocking you.
She has blocked me after our conversation last night on MSN but about an hour ago she was talking to my sister on MSN and she said this:
She said how can she trust me any more when I have lied so much.
Then she said she is just going to forget it and forget me 
This is not the end of it though!
I had a tough up bringing, my father walking out on my mother and me and my sister when we were about 2 years old.
I told her this in a long email after speaking to her on MSN last night and she didn't reply but commented on it to my sister an hour or so ago on MSN to her.
I said in my email I was probably just taking after my father, I just said it to try and make her realise its not just me, its down to my up bringing and it had been tough, although I did not use it as an excuse.
My sister said she didn't care about it and just said thats really common, which it is and it was nothing special.
I really don't know what to do now.
I told the truth about the whole 18 years of my life to her in a single email last night so that can answer her question on how can she trust me any more or couldn't it??!
I emailed her just a sec ago and said this, I told you the truth about my whole life in one email so you can tell I'm not lying any more.
What can I do or is this a complete lost cause? I really want to prove myself and regain her trust.
She said how can she trust me any more when I have lied so much.
Then she said she is just going to forget it and forget me
This is not the end of it though!
I had a tough up bringing, my father walking out on my mother and me and my sister when we were about 2 years old.
I told her this in a long email after speaking to her on MSN last night and she didn't reply but commented on it to my sister an hour or so ago on MSN to her.
I said in my email I was probably just taking after my father, I just said it to try and make her realise its not just me, its down to my up bringing and it had been tough, although I did not use it as an excuse.
My sister said she didn't care about it and just said thats really common, which it is and it was nothing special.
I really don't know what to do now.
I told the truth about the whole 18 years of my life to her in a single email last night so that can answer her question on how can she trust me any more or couldn't it??!
I emailed her just a sec ago and said this, I told you the truth about my whole life in one email so you can tell I'm not lying any more.
What can I do or is this a complete lost cause? I really want to prove myself and regain her trust.
Anonymous
She has blocked me after our conversation last night on MSN but about an hour ago she was talking to my sister on MSN and she said this:
She said how can she trust me any more when I have lied so much.
Then she said she is just going to forget it and forget me
This is not the end of it though!
I had a tough up bringing, my father walking out on my mother and me and my sister when we were about 2 years old.
I told her this in a long email after speaking to her on MSN last night and she didn't reply but commented on it to my sister an hour or so ago on MSN to her.
I said in my email I was probably just taking after my father, I just said it to try and make her realise its not just me, its down to my up bringing and it had been tough, although I did not use it as an excuse.
My sister said she didn't care about it and just said thats really common, which it is and it was nothing special.
I really don't know what to do now.
I told the truth about the whole 18 years of my life to her in a single email last night so that can answer her question on how can she trust me any more or couldn't it??!
I emailed her just a sec ago and said this, I told you the truth about my whole life in one email so you can tell I'm not lying any more.
What can I do or is this a complete lost cause? I really want to prove myself and regain her trust.
She said how can she trust me any more when I have lied so much.
Then she said she is just going to forget it and forget me
This is not the end of it though!
I had a tough up bringing, my father walking out on my mother and me and my sister when we were about 2 years old.
I told her this in a long email after speaking to her on MSN last night and she didn't reply but commented on it to my sister an hour or so ago on MSN to her.
I said in my email I was probably just taking after my father, I just said it to try and make her realise its not just me, its down to my up bringing and it had been tough, although I did not use it as an excuse.
My sister said she didn't care about it and just said thats really common, which it is and it was nothing special.
I really don't know what to do now.
I told the truth about the whole 18 years of my life to her in a single email last night so that can answer her question on how can she trust me any more or couldn't it??!
I emailed her just a sec ago and said this, I told you the truth about my whole life in one email so you can tell I'm not lying any more.
What can I do or is this a complete lost cause? I really want to prove myself and regain her trust.
Mistake number 2 ^
Block and delete her from your msn contacts.
I'm embarrased for you dude.
Maybe just put this one down to experience?
Maybe just put this one down to experience?
stop emailing her, at least for a while or you'll just make the situation worse.
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