Is it so bad to a loner?

I'm sitting here in Freshers week and I don't really know anybody here that well. They know my name, and I know theirs and I went out a couple of times and that's fine, but there's nobody I've met that is really my kind of person.

Now, I'm doing stuff on my own and tbh I'm having quite a good time. I'm not really meeting anybody or doing anything amazing, but I'm enjoying it, but I feel really weird for not wanting to be with the cool kids or wanting to chat with strangers. I don't usually make friends easily and often I just don't feel like being social.

Is it that weird that I'm not going out drinking copious amounts and stumbling home but instead staying in with my computer and my copy of The Guardian, and I'm actually enjoying that? 'cause everyone else seems to have found a group of close-ish people and seems to be going out and stuff only after one week, and I feel weird for being the odd one out.

Reply 1

The_Bear

13

Haha nothing wrong with it at all. Some people need human interaction to make themselves feel better, others dont

Reply 2

tortured

8

nah... so long as you don't feel awkward, why should it be wrong or bad? i prefer to go to the cinema, theatre, etc alone... i like being able to do my own thing too. some people are just like that.

Reply 3

Elegy

There's nothing at all inherently wrong with being a loner. I also highly value my solitude and privacy and can't wait until I have the opportunity to live alone at university. I would rather not go to Fresher's week at all myself and crowds make me very uncomfortable. I don't see anything intrinsically bad about being this way although I would advise you have a few aquaintances at least in case you need help with something.

Reply 4

Talya

16

OP, I feel the same as you, the people in my flat are great but not 'my' people. I think I've found a couple on my course. It's not the end of the world, I am still doing stuff with my flatmates, like tonight we are trying out the uni swimming pool (my idea), so you can definitely still have fun!

Oh and, join some clubs!

Reply 5

XxJaninexX

15

Its not strange, everyone likes to socalise different amounts, in different ways and at different time. Its worth getting to know a few people well just to give you a variety but as long as your happy, it doesnt matter what you do. Its your experience after all!

Reply 6

Pseudomuse

1

dont worry about it, you'll find your type of people eventually, if you enjoy spending time by yourself then theres nothing wrong with it. i enjoy time to myself more often then not. but i still go out with my mates every no and again.
when i was in first year it took me up to a semester to find my kind of people. theres always time :smile:

Reply 7

britishseapower

14

I'm in my 2nd year and despite having a couple of friends, I'm pretty much a loner, I spend alot of time on my own in and out of uni, its not exactly a bad thing but it can get depressing at times; I am trying to make more of an effort this year though, to 'put myself out there' so to speak.

Reply 8

shaneo632

2

There's nothing wrong with being a loner, IMO.

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

3

there is something wrong with being a loner - you have no friends.

Reply 10

person 34

9

If it works for you then go for it, but there's no denying you're abnormal in that sense, but tbh who cares?

Reply 11

Ms.Golightly

Anonymous

Is it that weird that I'm not going out drinking copious amounts and stumbling home but instead staying in with my computer and my copy of The Guardian, and I'm actually enjoying that? 'cause everyone else seems to have found a group of close-ish people and seems to be going out and stuff only after one week, and I feel weird for being the odd one out.

As we speak i am sat in my room on the computer having just gone to the shop and bought The Guardian! Are you me? :p:

I like time to myself and i don't think there's anything wrong with that. If someone invites me out i might go and if i fancy going out for a drink i'll ask someone but i'm not out all the time getting drunk etc. I thought i wouldn't be alone in this being a postgraduate but it seems a lot of people i've met have gone out on pubcrawls more than twice this week, something i'm not into. I've never been part of a close group of friends but i have friends and a boyfriend who are similar to me- more independent. Everyone is different. I wouldn't class myself as a loner because i like talking to people, just not all the time.

Reply 12

timbuck2

being a loner i think is absolutely fine, as long as your being productive

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

I do feel a bit rubbish about it now though. The people on my floor are borderline ignoring me, I'm being paranoid and thinking they think I'm pretencious or something. I just don't really do the outgoing thing and these freshers parties are my idea of hell so I've just stayed home.

I have never had a large group of friends. I've had three or four reasonably close ones, but other than that, not much and it does occasionally get me slightly down that I'm not as outgoing, know as many people as my friends or ever been comfortable with strangers. I'm not really sure how I'm going to make friends or meet my sort of people, but I have joined societies etc.

My main worry is that I'll never find a girl I click with and go out with, because I'm not a particularly attractive guy, but that's hardly a massive issue.

And I'm the least productive guy in the world, but meh. Thanks people :smile:

Reply 14

The_Bear

13

Have some fun, make them think youre a serial killer.

Reply 15

threepiecesuit

Anonymous

I'm sitting here in Freshers week and I don't really know anybody here that well. They know my name, and I know theirs and I went out a couple of times and that's fine, but there's nobody I've met that is really my kind of person.

Now, I'm doing stuff on my own and tbh I'm having quite a good time. I'm not really meeting anybody or doing anything amazing, but I'm enjoying it, but I feel really weird for not wanting to be with the cool kids or wanting to chat with strangers. I don't usually make friends easily and often I just don't feel like being social.

Is it that weird that I'm not going out drinking copious amounts and stumbling home but instead staying in with my computer and my copy of The Guardian, and I'm actually enjoying that? 'cause everyone else seems to have found a group of close-ish people and seems to be going out and stuff only after one week, and I feel weird for being the odd one out.

MY GOD you remind me of me :eek:

Reply 16

40550

2

if you're happy being a loner, thats great. but being a loner, haha, involves being lonely. im a loner myself sometimes, and, for me, it can get DEPRESSING

Reply 17

silverbolt

19

i dont think thiers anything wrong with it, there are many times that i prefer my own company.

Reply 18

Humra

The_Bear

Haha nothing wrong with it at all. Some people need human interaction to make themselves feel better, others dont

True

Reply 19

The Canadian

11

Being a loner is perfectly alright. I don't like hanging around people that much unless I'm doing something where there is no choice, such as parkour.

Everyone is a different person, everyone likes different things, and you like solitude.

Is it so bad to a loner?

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