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How to actually break up with him?

I've been with my boyfriend for a long time but things have become bad between us. For the last several months I've been battling what to do but I've finally accepted we'll never be how we used to be and there is so much damage we can no longer get passed it.

It's really difficult as I thought he was the one and he's been such a large chunk of my life and it'll be like losing a part of me but I know it has to end.

My question is how? I've only ever broken off minor relationships never anything so serious or long term. We really thought it was going to be forever so I know this won't be easy. Any advice would be appreciated as I really have no idea how to do this!
As someone who was recently broken up with, I can tell you there's no easy way - especially if there's no obvious trigger for the separation.

I think the first step always has to be making absolutely certain that you're sure this is what you want. From there, it's really up to you to choose your medium. If you think you can trust him to respect your decision, it might be easiest to do it over the phone. This way you can prepare what you want to say, read it off and if it does start to get messy, you can just hang up. Alternatively, an email might work just as well - but be sure to call/message before you send it and let him know that you're serious about everything in it and to please understand as far as possible.

Don't worry too much about the exact details of why you don't want to be with him any longer - these will only give him ways to try to argue with you, and will trouble him for a long time. Just try to explain that you're not happy, and you are ending the relationship, and it's not his fault and there's nothing he can do.

And then, honestly I think it's best to end communication, at least until you've both moved on. If you're still likely to see him in your day-to-day, then there are other ways that might be preferable, but I think really this is about as good as it gets.
Honesty is the best policy - If it helps to write it down how you're feeling and maybe set some time to read it out to him and suggest that maybe taking a breather from things could help.

Don't make any promises to him if he suggests to stay friends etc just reassure him it's not an easy decision that you've come to, and it would be best to part ways now before you get too serious to turn back.

Have you been together long in each the sense seeing each other often or now and again?
- Bcos if it's the former it might be you guys need some time out or the latter maybe it is heading that way anyway!


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(edited 9 years ago)
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MNITJC
you've been together a long time, maybe how it COULD be, even if it's not how it was, will be better than being single/with someone else.
Maybe suggest a break, set a time limit from the start where you can both be single and have the option to (but don't have to!) get with other people. Then you can decide what you really want from your partner.


Posted from TSR Mobile
I definitely think it needs to be face to face, it's the only respectful way. I think you need to really think about the reasons for this, and explain them to him. Allow him to ask any questions and try to answer. Do you want to remain friends? If so, give him the option, if not suggest cutting contact to move on.

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