Am I right in not telling her...?

I have this female friend of mine that Im quite good friends with and I kind of like in a romantic way. However I am not trying to be anything other then in friends with her for now anyways becuase I dont want to cause problems with our friendship and Im not sure if she likes me as well. Plus she may still have a boyfriend, she did have one and Im not sure if she still has one.

The thing is I think she might actually know that I like her in a romantic sense. The last time I spoke to her she said she needed to talk to me about something in person, and she declined to talk about it over the phone. I think she's planning on telling me something related to me liking her romantically, cause when I think about it there have been times when I have made it kind of obvious, just in the way I like to spend time with her etc. and show concern for her & stuff. If she says anything Im not sure of what to do, but I have given thought about just denying it cause I think if I admit it it will cause problems between me and her and I dont want that. What do u think the best thing is to do?

any advice and suggestions are appreciated, thks :smile:

Reply 1

Carl

I had just the same problem, except when we did finally speak it was to tell me that she had a boyfriend and was no longer part of the "singles club". I felt like such a loser :frown:

but at least our friendship is intact.

I'd advise not saying anything until she tells you her news.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Yeah Im seeing her 2morrow so she'll talk about it then, but I am starting to feel that denial is the best policy if she asks me. I dont like lying but I had a bad experience of this before where I told a female friend I liked her in the romantic sense of things and shortly after we stopped being friends, although I think there was more to it then me just liking her I think she was just fed up with having me as a friend and wanted other friends or something. Anyways the problem is Im not sure if she's going to believe me unfortunately :frown:

but I think Im just gonna do my best to convince her that I think she's very beutiful and good looking but Im not after her in that way or anything, just trying to be good friends with her & I like her company. Hopefully she'll believe me but Im really not sure.......

Does anyone else have experiences of telling a friend of the opposite sex that you like them romantically? how did it go and what would u recommend from it? Would you have not done it looking back?

Reply 3

Carl

Well she hinted she liked me a few months ago and I denied it, something I really regret now. Sorry to not be of any help.

Reply 4

scribble_girl

Everyone likes to be liked, and I'm sure she'd be really flattered even if its not returned to you. Do you think your friendship's strong enough to hold if you told her? It's a gamble, yes - one that could pay of or hurt your friendship - and I know you probably, on some level, wanted to come on here and someone to give you a definitive answer of what to do. But only you can tell what your own friendships are like - bide your time. Don't do anything rash. But don't be defeatist, if you're close enough & well suited enough to being friends, then she'll understand.
Best of luck to you - try and stay sane!!
x

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Hi, this happened to me and i told him. He told me that he was kind of intrested in me but that it wasnt the right time. I'm deverstated at the moment cos i realy like him but our friendship is still in tact and i'll get over it. So tell her and if she isn't intrested dont worry. If your such good friends your friendship should survive it. hope that helps and good luck. :smile:

Reply 6

Sheen

Carl

I'd advise not saying anything until she tells you her news.

yeah i agree with that.

Reply 7

The Canadian

Anonymous

Does anyone else have experiences of telling a friend of the opposite sex that you like them romantically? how did it go and what would u recommend from it? Would you have not done it looking back?

Yeah, I told one of my best friends that I loved her, and it went pretty well. She was flattered, and told me that it's really nice to know that she's loved, but she's not told me how she feels about me.

I've also told another of my best friends that I loved her too, and she told me to shut up cos I'm not allowed to say stuff like that to her, but she does feel the same way about me.

I'd say go for it, cos then you won't have any questions in your mind of "what if".

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Thanks for your advice people...I know I should take a chance but I think I have too many doubts at least for now, I dont think I've known her long enough to go telling her something like that, Im good friends with her but I haven't known her all that long. Apart from this I really dont think she'd be interested in me and she is soo extra-ordinarily beutiful and interesting & sweet & lovely as a person and she makes me laugh (its not just me who thinks that a lot of my other male friends think that as well) lol she just seems to good for me. No I know this is a little cowardly but if she confronts me on it or says something about me liking her or me trying to be more then friends with her Im gonna deny it, I could always tell her the truth later on and just say I was scared of it damaging our friendship.

Besides, Im not even sure if thats what it is that she wants to talk to me about, could be something completely different, although the fact she didn't want to talk about it via text or even over the phone is strange. anyways thanks for your help and advice :smile: