Confused about weight loss

I'm a guy, and I have to admit I'm quite fat. I can see in my face, stomach, love handles, bum and legs, and it makes me really upset, I hate it, I think I look really hideous. Whenever I cuddle my boyfriend, I'm always really paranoid that I feel squishy or whatever. I really hate it when people go anywhere near my stomach, like poking me or tickling or whatever, because I don't want them to feel how fat I am, and i'm really careful about which of my clothes I wear in case they make me look worse. I exercise a fair bit, walk about two hours a day, do a bit of CV stuff at home, and I try and heat healthy (like the GI diet, which I mostly stick to, despite the odd lapse).

But I get really confused, because whenever I mention that I'm on a diet, or trying to lose weight, people tell em that i don't need to and that I look fine, and some times my parents tell me that I look like I've lost weight, when I really haven't, i look in the mirror and i look just as disgusting as ever. I just get so confused, why is everyone trying to be nice about it, and lying about it to me? :frown:

Btw, I don't have anorexia nervosa.

Crisp ! Hah!

Phonicsdude

Crisp ! Hah!

Eh?

Reply 3

Eurasian

Because obviously it's all a plot to keep you plump conspired by the goverment. If your parents don't play along you will be sent off to Asia to make nike shoes.

Seriously. If you don't like something about yourself? Change it. Easier said than done, I know. But it's the only way.

Reply 4

Jayk

Well...your boyfriend's still with you, isn't he? So that means he either a) likes you just the way you are, and thus it would probably be a poor idea to change; or b) he's got some kind of communication issue...

And usually when people say 'you've lost weight' they mean it; I think I've only ever said it to someone else 3 times in my entire life, and I meant it each time I said it! And also, when I was younger, I used to check when my parents said I had lost weight, and almost invariably I actually had! So chill dude, your probably no-where near as fat as you think you are!

And surely - though I can't say this for certain in your particular situation - it'd be nicer to cuddle someone who was a little squishy? When I was little I used to cuddle my step-mother a lot for this very reason! :biggrin:

And also, I'm not exactly the thinnest or most toned of blokes, and most of my past g/f's have always said I was great to snuggle up with! Which was reassuring, to say the least :biggrin:

Reply 5

Ms.Golightly

I think whenever someone has a complex that they are fat, more often than not it is more psychological than physical. I think i'm fat and everyone tells me i'm not and no matter what they say i don't really believe it because i feel fat. I bet people aren't lying to you about it though because if someone loves you, such as your parents, they would be nice but honest with you rather than lie, because they care about you. You walk for two hours a day so you can't be that unfit. And that must surely impact your weight in some way.

On another note, don't classify yourself as "disgusting". Relationships have a little bit to do with physical attraction as well as personality etc, and you're in one, so don't put yourself down so much. The best thing is that it sounds like if you do think you have a weight issue, that you are trying to do something positive such as exercise and eat right. Keep going and good luck :smile:

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Eurasian: I am trying to change it, although I'm not really seeing much change yet.

Jayk: Thanks. I know my b/f loves me, but he has told me once or twice that I'm a bit fatter than i used to be, and he encourages me to try and lose weight. I know he loves me very much, and I love him just as much (we've been together very nearly 3 years) but I can't help but feel sometimes that he might go off me :frown:

Ms Golightly: Thanks for the encouragement, but I honestly can't help thinking I'm disgusting, any time I see myself in the mirror I almost feel sick.

Reply 7

Ms.Golightly

Have you ever been bullied or anything? Or had people make comments about your weight. It might have manifested itself as a complex. And also, the other day my boyfriend gave me a picture his parents took of us at a family do and i compared it to a picture from when i was about 17 and i was, to say the least, gutted. I have changed a lot in appearance over the last 4 years it seems. And my boyfriend told me that he thinks i'm gorgeous and that yes i DO look different but everyone changes as they get older. So if you're comparing yourself to, well, yourself, don't go there :p:

It's natural for bodies to change. I'm the same as you with regards to clothes, i'm so picky about what i buy incase it makes me look fat. I think it borders on obsession. Anyway, not meaning to talk about mememe, just wanted to let you know you're not alone in feeling like that and perhaps you're at a time when your self confidence is low, or you're stressed or something. You're trying and that's what counts. If you were eating a McDonalds a day and complaining then that would be fruitless, but with a healthy diet and exercise and treating yourself every now and then as a reward (i don't mean with luxurious food necessarily, but with anything you like), then you WILL get there.