Sticky situation-love triangle... Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
Okay so I was in a really long term relationship (5 years) when I met my now-best friend over 3 years ago. I liked him but didn't act or reveal anything as I had a boyfriend (who was treating me quite badly in that phase). We were on the same wave length, could speak about everything and anything and were initially doing the same course and had a similar outlook on life. I broke up with my long term boyfriend on my year abroad (erasmus) and started a 9-10 month thing which I guess was a rebound, despite me being the one ending the long relationship. I really loved some of the time we spent together but we just weren't compatible and we met young... Long story... Anyway. When with my "rebound" I was having problems (he freaked out and tried to leave me in Japan), I called my best friend crying. He was the first person I thought to call.

Post Japan I actually broke up with said boyfriend, whilst my good friend had been in a relationship for 2 years. He has hung out with me a lot in the last 3 months, since I have returned to Edinburgh, and he kept complaining about his girlfriend who he just moved in with. He said she wasn't a bad person but that they just weren't compatible, she was too tidy for him and too obsessed in planning he was more spontaneous. She wanted to settle, he wanted to travel, they kept arguing and he kept suggesting he wasn't sure whether he was with the right person.

On Halloween I went to their flat party and met another guy-my best friend's good friend. He invited me to go on a walk the next day, then to have tea and scones the following week (which was followed by drinks, dinner and more drinks. We then went climbing together a couple of days later, cinema a couple days after and I ended up sleeping at his... He ended up cuddling me a bit, not too obviously though and he was very respectful. I slept at his place again at the weekend after a movie night with friends. There he hugged me and I went in for this kiss, we ended up hugging and making out and then he tried to sleep with me and I stopped it from happening. I explained I had had two long term relationships and I like to wait a bit for these things... Honest and to the point. We spent a lot of the night close together though and all the next morning hugging. He was enthusiastic and kissed me goodbye when I left that afternoon, and replied instantly to my fb messages in the next couple of days... but the communication slowed a bit. He met me up to go to the Christmas market in town and was nice and bought me something to eat, then when we were leaving I asked him about the weekend, he said "I really like you, but we have to think carefully about it. We have to think careful because (best friend) is your best friend, and he is my good friend. He said he wouldn't hurt me. I was a bit confused. He realised this and walked me home and after seeing me confused again kissed me goodbye, saying he had had a bad week and that the next week he would have his essay out the way and have more time for me.

I wrote to my best friend to see what advice he could give me, and after a bit of talking around the subject he said "In different circumstances we would make a pretty good couple, I think". This conversation spiralled into me admitting I had thought the same and him admitting he liked me from the start, then me doing the same. We met up for a drink two days later (he had been away for the weekend) and he confessed, embarrassedly, to having had a "love at first sight" moment with me in first year, but deciding to leave it with me when he realised I had a serious long-term boyfriend and not wanting to be a homewrecker.

I decided to ignore my best friend's friend after the doubt our meeting caused me. Two days after he liked a post I put on facebook and I send him a brief message. I eventually decided to take the initiative a few days later and asked whether he wanted to go to the cinema this weekend. The answer was yes and we are going tomorrow. Meanwhile my best friend broke up with his girlfriend. What is going on??
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Safiya122
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#2
Report 4 years ago
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Okay, this is all confusing, I can't imagine how weird it is for you. I'm assuming that maybe you're liking the attention and respect (respect wise, who wouldn't?) and that you're getting from these guys which is what's leading you to be like "hmm..who should i be with" etc etc, because a past guy treated you bad. But I think you're kind of leading both these guys on and if you continue, it's gonna end up hurting all three of you.
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