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How should I feel about being sexually abused...?

I'll try and make it as clear as possible as the title says I dont quite know how to feel about being subject to numerous abuse as a child between the ages of roughly 5-7 and other incidents throughout my early teens..

First time it happened I was taken into a room by this guy in his teens who was a family friend....He used 2 touch me & make me rub him n stuff...he also would kinda rub his thing against my *****....He used 2babysit me & my sis...This went on for as long as he was around in our life...But we then luckily moved & i thought that was it....

But it did happen again this time it was a so called uncle who used 2 come & get me from my bed when every1 was sleeping & do the same thing & even try 2 penetrate me but I'd stop him & he'd just carry on doing other things...

Later on nothing as major happened but I would still get guys & men whom were around our family touching me or making me touch them & stuff...

The thing is I didnt start thinking about all this & reacalling the memories except 4 a year ago...& I dont know how it's effecting me if it is in anyway...I've only recently told my sis but not in full details n she couldn't say much except da usual....I'm 20 now & I still feel like crying & stuff when I remember it...

Could it be possible that I'm fine & don't need any sort of help even though from time 2 time it makes me feel real bad...but in general i've managed to get on with my life I'm at uni now n just feel like I don't want this 2 hold me back in anyway n I dont want it 2 effect my relationships with guys if u know what I mean....

Sorrry about the longgggg postt...Just needed some advice or anything u guys think of it i'd love 2 hear...

Thanks in advance 4 any advice... :smile:

Reply 1

Happy_Holidays

Maybe you should go to a councellor. You might not feel bad all the time but it could still be effecting you and sometimes just telling someone everything just once will help you and you can then forget about it.

Reply 2

tbm

Sorry to hear about what you've been through.

People that have been through abuse like yours probably feel different about whats happened, so you dont have to 'feel' a specific way if that makes sense.

If you've recently started thinking about this abuse again then it may be that you need some professional help to help you get over it, it might be that you were blocking it out for all those years and then something made you recall what had happened. If you think you need the help then theres loads of people out there that can help you. If you feel strong enough then you might also want to think about reporting this abuse to the police, again, if you seek help from a specialist organisation then they can help you with this.

I have personal experience of this but I dont want to post on here so if you PM me I can give you details of people that can help, if not then no problem. :smile:

Reply 3

buLLet_t00th

Seriously why dont you tell someone, if you dont want this to happen anymore (i dont know how old you are) you have to let others know or itll just keep going on.

ps Your family and family friends are seriously ****ed up!

Reply 4

Scotsman1988

Try giving The Samaritans a phone (08457 90 90 90 - charged at a local rate). There are people specialy trained at the end of both of those numbers and they're both 24 hours.

There is no specific way that you should be feeling - everyone deals with these things in a different way. It would be better for you to talk to someone about it, someone who can put you in touch with the right people who can help you through it.

Reply 5

Toy Soldier

She did say that she's 20 now in the OP.

I think you should definately talk to someone about it, there are plenty of services that have the experience and qualifications to help you deal with what happened. Even if the memories weren't affecting you directly (and it would seem they are, since you said you sometimes cry when you think about it) it's likely that these incidents would have a subconscious effect on you, especially in trying to have a healthy sexual relationship with someone.

Reply 6

Noobish

How bad could incest be?

Reply 7

JimmyJ

It will only affect you if you let it.

Dismiss it, it's made you stronger.

Don't fall into depression. Don't beat yourself up.

Reply 8

Toy Soldier

Noobish

How bad could incest be?

There's no mention of incest.

Reply 9

Frogsofhope

in these situations always remember to report the criminals to stop them attacking again, it is never too late to go to the proper authorities and report monsters like those described in the OP.

Reply 10

Gem

JimmyJ

It will only affect you if you let it.

Dismiss it, it's made you stronger.

Don't fall into depression. Don't beat yourself up.

I don't think thats helpful really. It's also quite wrong, you're suggesting she supress everything that happened to her.

To the OP, don't think that you have to 'feel' any specific way, it's an individual thing and you shouldn't let people make you think you have to think, feel or behave in a certain way. You deal with it how you think you should.

It sounds like it is affecting you as you're thinking about it, so maybe an appointment with a counsellor may help you get your thoughts in order and then help you deal with things and overcome them. If you don't fancy a counsellor maybe talk to someone you trust, a family member? Friend? Your sister? She may be bottling things up - did anything happen to her? You could support eachother if it did and maybe even go to the police and get justice?

Whatever you decide it will be the right thing for YOU and that's the most important thing, so I wish you Good Luck and hope everything works out for you.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Thanks guys 4 all ur replies...it means a lot :smile:

...about things that u said like getting help & someone 2 talk 2...just wondering if it is a must as I think I've coped well but then again I might be completely wrong... :rolleyes:

I just have difficulty telling family & friends coz it was sooo long ago...& it would kill my mum if I did...I only told 1 friend since all of it started 2 go through my mind last year...but not in detail though...

Lastly, just wondering if it is a problem if I decide not 2 do anything about it now...(considering Im kkk so far)...could it actually get really bad..as I wouldn't want that 2 happen 2 me... :eek:

Reply 12

Gem

Anonymous

Lastly, just wondering if it is a problem if I decide not 2 do anything about it now...(considering Im kkk so far)...could it actually get really bad..as I wouldn't want that 2 happen 2 me... :eek:

If you feel you're coping OK now, there is no reason to get any help. I'd just be worried that it came to a head later on and you needed to deal with stuff then, when you could go now and deal with it now, whilst you feel 'ok' and able to.

That said, if things get bad in a couple of years you could see a counsellor then.

I guess, it's entirely up to you. Don't feel you should see a counsellor cos you feel you 'should' or feel like you're pressurised - if you're coping for now, then let it be, but if you find things difficult later on, *then* see someone.

I think you, yourself, know what you need and therapy will only work when you want/need it to. I wish you all the best and stay strong :smile: