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    Hey all, I'm going to keep this as short as possible.
    So I'm a first year student at an ex-poly .This was not my decision to come here and honestly as the days go the more depressed I get.
    I really want to leave but my parents have Have said No.Never.They Will Never let that happen ,as long as they live.I feel like I'm being suffocated and don't know what to do.I wanted to retake my alevels and reapply again this year.I'm really miserable ,it's depressing ,I don't fit in.My course is racially unbalanced and I honestly feel like an outcast which I haven't felt before .When I mention how I don't fit in all I get told is "stop caring about what other people do and mind your own life" but that's not the issue.I just want to feel like I belong .I haven't made any friends.Everybody has their own groups and it's like they know each other.
    This is not the first time I've felt like this .I to the university for an interview in March and I could feel that I didn't belong there.I remember talking to one of the girls that was there and saying "there is something missing here but u can't exactly tell whatit is" .We also had a chat with a 3rd year student and be asked me how I was finding it and I said "there's no student unity ,it's dull I don't see myself living there" .8 months later I'm still feeling the same if not worse.All my other friends are having the time of their lives and I feel like I'm going to be one if those who had a miserable experience at university .
    So far I haven't had the best of social lives .I lost my confidence at the start of y12 ,I was alone all the time .In Y13 it got worse ,towards the end I really wanted to leave .
    I thought all that would change at uni but I'm literally still at the same place .
    People have advice I join societies but they're inactive or stuff I'm not really interested in.I would've loved things like baking /cooking societies but they mainly have sport societies.The sport I'm interested in clashes with my lectures so I can't attend .
    To show you how much I'm being controlled here's an example.This whole situation has been affecting me and recently went to see a counsellor .She said she understands where in coming from because with my parents there's no common ground .All they do is give me an option and an alternative .Its either you do this or you this,it's up to you.
    I forgot to mention I went through clearing ,that's how I've ended up at my uni .It was either I went through clearing and went to whatever university because "they're all the same" or I moved out into homelessness.A gap year was not an option.
    Anyway ,back to my point about being controlled.So my parents are on what's app .Me and my mum talk on it regularly we usually send pictures of stuff .I didn't know my dad had it.
    So I changed my profile picture to a random girl sat in the dark (not me) with her head down and now it has become a big issue .Ive been threatened to take it off."Take if off ,You're embarrassing yourself can't you see that.If you don't take that picture off your dad will sort you out.He's very angry about it ".Note:5 my dad is working away but he's coming back this coming week.
    I feel like I'm a puppet and I'm on the strings being controlled :/
    There are days where I feel like I don't have a purpose and maybe getting away from here (world) is my only option
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    This sounds like a really tough place to be at. You're at university, it should be the happiest time of your life, but you're just stuck and I'm guessing right now it seems like a vicious circle you'll never be free of.
    I promise it's not.
    As hard as it sounds, you have to put yourself first now. Maybe it's time to say to your folks that you need some space. Be honest and say it's too much. You'll never have the chance to be happy at uni if you're still tied to home.
    PM if you ever need to talk.


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    This might sound really hard if you're down but why not set up a baking/cooking society?

    PLEASE don't try suicide! I had a bloody awful experience myself at uni at times in the first year - I was not sociable and would lock myself in my room. Eventually I made a good friend on my course, although sadly he dropped out in the 2nd year. I have had plenty of enjoyable times in my life after Uni.

    You could try antidepressants. They worked for me when I needed them and made me feel happy again.
 
 
 
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