Attracted to my sister's fiancé..
A bit long - don't bother reading if you get bored easily.
So I just got back aftertrying to get away from my family travelling for the past year and a half and quite a lot has changed back home.
Essentially, my sister (who I'm not very close with) got knocked up and gave birth 4 months ago. She tried to put a nice "Christian" spin on it and say it was all planned but we all know she just isn't careful when it comes to sex. This is also backed up by the fact that she only knew the guy for a couple of weeks before she found out she was pregnant. He then proposed some time after and they are now planning their wedding (well she is)
Anyway, I arrived home last week and met her fiancé. Now, I'm not going to lie, I was expecting him to be some chav that was using her for money or some sort of idiot like all the other guys she used to go out with. But then I met him and WOW. He is soooooo attractive and not a loser at all! He actually earns quite a bit of money and has a nice house which he and my sister are currently living in. So now I'm starting to think, my sister is using him for his money.
I could tell he has gotten bored of her quite quickly. Whenever she mentions wedding or long term plans he avoids the conversation and goes to watch TV. I think he is only with her cause she had his baby anyway and she probably forced him to propose to her anyway (my mother told me she used blackmail against him). She wants to be married and a good Christian (unlikely) and she does anything to get what she wants.
Back to him. He has blonde, curly hair and bluey green eyes. He's also incredibly nice and funny and just all round REALLY fit. My sister doesn't deserve him. Yesterday, me and him were watching TV while my sister was playing with my nephew upstairs. While watching he started stroking my legs and my arms. At one point he faced me and looked like he was going to kiss me but I got scared and went to the kitchen a bit embarrassed. I didn't know what my feelings were and by the time I figured out that I liked him too and I went back into the living room and the bitch was there
.
Anyway, I don't know if I should go for it if that situation were to occur again (and I doubt it would because my sister keeps him like a dog on a leash). I don't care what my sister thinks of me to be honest because we don't like each other, she's only nice to me now because our mother is upset when we fight. I don't know if he wants to hurt my sister though.
Should I go for it?
So I just got back after
Essentially, my sister (who I'm not very close with) got knocked up and gave birth 4 months ago. She tried to put a nice "Christian" spin on it and say it was all planned but we all know she just isn't careful when it comes to sex. This is also backed up by the fact that she only knew the guy for a couple of weeks before she found out she was pregnant. He then proposed some time after and they are now planning their wedding (well she is)
Anyway, I arrived home last week and met her fiancé. Now, I'm not going to lie, I was expecting him to be some chav that was using her for money or some sort of idiot like all the other guys she used to go out with. But then I met him and WOW. He is soooooo attractive and not a loser at all! He actually earns quite a bit of money and has a nice house which he and my sister are currently living in. So now I'm starting to think, my sister is using him for his money.
I could tell he has gotten bored of her quite quickly. Whenever she mentions wedding or long term plans he avoids the conversation and goes to watch TV. I think he is only with her cause she had his baby anyway and she probably forced him to propose to her anyway (my mother told me she used blackmail against him). She wants to be married and a good Christian (unlikely) and she does anything to get what she wants.
Back to him. He has blonde, curly hair and bluey green eyes. He's also incredibly nice and funny and just all round REALLY fit. My sister doesn't deserve him. Yesterday, me and him were watching TV while my sister was playing with my nephew upstairs. While watching he started stroking my legs and my arms. At one point he faced me and looked like he was going to kiss me but I got scared and went to the kitchen a bit embarrassed. I didn't know what my feelings were and by the time I figured out that I liked him too and I went back into the living room and the bitch was there
.Anyway, I don't know if I should go for it if that situation were to occur again (and I doubt it would because my sister keeps him like a dog on a leash). I don't care what my sister thinks of me to be honest because we don't like each other, she's only nice to me now because our mother is upset when we fight. I don't know if he wants to hurt my sister though.
Should I go for it?
Spoiler
Scroll to see replies
sorry I use 'anyway' a lot! I didn't notice lol.
IMO I think it would simply cause more problems for you and your sister if anything was to happen between you and her fiance. If your sister is with him just for the money and is blackmailing him then that's wrong. I don't think it's a wise idea for either of them to marry each other especially if they don't know each other that well and are just wanting to marry because a baby is coming. They can both still be great parents to the baby without marrying each other for the sake of it. And IMO it would end bad too - especially if he doesn't have feelings for her. I think you should speak to your sister and make her realise she's rushing into this. But for now I'd advise you to keep your distance from him because that could make things worse..
Original post by Safiya122
IMO I think it would simply cause more problems for you and your sister if anything was to happen between you and her fiance. If your sister is with him just for the money and is blackmailing him then that's wrong. I don't think it's a wise idea for either of them to marry each other especially if they don't know each other that well and are just wanting to marry because a baby is coming. They can both still be great parents to the baby without marrying each other for the sake of it. And IMO it would end bad too - especially if he doesn't have feelings for her. I think you should speak to your sister and make her realise she's rushing into this. But for now I'd advise you to keep your distance from him because that could make things worse..
Our family did talk to her about it and she's having none of it. She said she doesn't want to be a single mother raising a child on benefits and she said she doesn't want God to be upset with her for having premarital sex and then not getting married
Original post by Anonymous
Our family did talk to her about it and she's having none of it. She said she doesn't want to be a single mother raising a child on benefits and she said she doesn't want God to be upset with her for having premarital sex and then not getting married
Except she wouldn't be a single mother, he'd still be around I'm sure?
Sounds like a recipe for disaster.
Stay away from it.
You might not like your sister, but this will bite you in the ass.
Stay away from it.
You might not like your sister, but this will bite you in the ass.
Hi are you a virgin? Also to be frank you sound like a really bad sister. They way you are so casually trying to wreck their marriage and rationalize all the reasons it would be acceptable to sleep with him/start an affair with him is disgusting. She is still your sister and you should be loyal to her.
A little back story on why I don't like my sister.
Before I went travelling, my sister tried to force me to convert to Christianity and told me I would go to Hell if I didn't believe in God. She had recently just decided to be more religious which is fine but considering I'm not religious and she tried to force her beliefs on me, this pissed me off so much. Even my parents were shocked when she said this to my face. My parents are Christians but not extreme and they don't mind that I'm not religious. This prompted a HUGE argument between me and her. To top it all off, my family (all Christians) supported me and not her and told her she can't tell me what to do. She's half the reason I went travelling in the first place, just because I didn't want to argue with her any more.
Can I just say, I don't have a problem with religion or Christianity, I just have a problem with my sister being a hypocrite and then using her religion to falsely justify herself. To put it boldly, she's a terrible Christian in my eyes and a pretty terrible human being in general. She's the kind of person who would scream about women not having equal rights and that women should be treated equally to men yet has a fit when a man won't pay for her things because "he is supposed to". She's annoying and a brat and I can't believe I once looked up to her. She is a crazy ****ing psycho.
She is also a compulsive liar and is very selfish. She has a problem with being told what to do (and because of this she has been fired from 2 jobs). She does not respect anyone but out grandparents and that's only because they're loaded. When my parents used to get mad at her for not doing the dishes (while she still lived at home), she would 'run away' to our grandmothers house and tell our grandmother that my parents are bullying her and my grandmother would force my mother and father to apologise to her. They only told her to do the damn dishes!
If I had a sister I truly cared for, loved for and respected, I wouldn't be asking this question. She doesn't deserve the love she receives and I'm scared she's going to pull her fiancé down and down until they can't pick themselves up. I'm scared she is going to raise a disrespectful and intolerant child who is just like her.
So maybe I am a terrible sister, but I am not worse than her.
Before I went travelling, my sister tried to force me to convert to Christianity and told me I would go to Hell if I didn't believe in God. She had recently just decided to be more religious which is fine but considering I'm not religious and she tried to force her beliefs on me, this pissed me off so much. Even my parents were shocked when she said this to my face. My parents are Christians but not extreme and they don't mind that I'm not religious. This prompted a HUGE argument between me and her. To top it all off, my family (all Christians) supported me and not her and told her she can't tell me what to do. She's half the reason I went travelling in the first place, just because I didn't want to argue with her any more.
Can I just say, I don't have a problem with religion or Christianity, I just have a problem with my sister being a hypocrite and then using her religion to falsely justify herself. To put it boldly, she's a terrible Christian in my eyes and a pretty terrible human being in general. She's the kind of person who would scream about women not having equal rights and that women should be treated equally to men yet has a fit when a man won't pay for her things because "he is supposed to". She's annoying and a brat and I can't believe I once looked up to her. She is a crazy ****ing psycho.
She is also a compulsive liar and is very selfish. She has a problem with being told what to do (and because of this she has been fired from 2 jobs). She does not respect anyone but out grandparents and that's only because they're loaded. When my parents used to get mad at her for not doing the dishes (while she still lived at home), she would 'run away' to our grandmothers house and tell our grandmother that my parents are bullying her and my grandmother would force my mother and father to apologise to her. They only told her to do the damn dishes!
If I had a sister I truly cared for, loved for and respected, I wouldn't be asking this question. She doesn't deserve the love she receives and I'm scared she's going to pull her fiancé down and down until they can't pick themselves up. I'm scared she is going to raise a disrespectful and intolerant child who is just like her.
So maybe I am a terrible sister, but I am not worse than her.
Original post by Sulpha
Are you based in the States ? This sounds like an American thing...
No.
Original post by Guy Secretan
Hi are you a virgin? Also to be frank you sound like a really bad sister. They way you are so casually trying to wreck their marriage and rationalize all the reasons it would be acceptable to sleep with him/start an affair with him is disgusting. She is still your sister and you should be loyal to her.
No I'm not a virgin and I don't see why that's relevant.
Original post by SophiaLDN
I feel sorry for your sister.. being related to someone like you 
I really wish you could meet her, then you wouldn't feel sorry for her.
How attractive do you consider yourself on your own and in relation to your sister?
Original post by Anonymous
A little back story on why I don't like my sister.
Before I went travelling, my sister tried to force me to convert to Christianity and told me I would go to Hell if I didn't believe in God. She had recently just decided to be more religious which is fine but considering I'm not religious and she tried to force her beliefs on me, this pissed me off so much. Even my parents were shocked when she said this to my face. My parents are Christians but not extreme and they don't mind that I'm not religious. This prompted a HUGE argument between me and her. To top it all off, my family (all Christians) supported me and not her and told her she can't tell me what to do. She's half the reason I went travelling in the first place, just because I didn't want to argue with her any more.
Can I just say, I don't have a problem with religion or Christianity, I just have a problem with my sister being a hypocrite and then using her religion to falsely justify herself. To put it boldly, she's a terrible Christian in my eyes and a pretty terrible human being in general. She's the kind of person who would scream about women not having equal rights and that women should be treated equally to men yet has a fit when a man won't pay for her things because "he is supposed to". She's annoying and a brat and I can't believe I once looked up to her. She is a crazy ****ing psycho.
She is also a compulsive liar and is very selfish. She has a problem with being told what to do (and because of this she has been fired from 2 jobs). She does not respect anyone but out grandparents and that's only because they're loaded. When my parents used to get mad at her for not doing the dishes (while she still lived at home), she would 'run away' to our grandmothers house and tell our grandmother that my parents are bullying her and my grandmother would force my mother and father to apologise to her. They only told her to do the damn dishes!
If I had a sister I truly cared for, loved for and respected, I wouldn't be asking this question. She doesn't deserve the love she receives and I'm scared she's going to pull her fiancé down and down until they can't pick themselves up. I'm scared she is going to raise a disrespectful and intolerant child who is just like her.
So maybe I am a terrible sister, but I am not worse than her.
Before I went travelling, my sister tried to force me to convert to Christianity and told me I would go to Hell if I didn't believe in God. She had recently just decided to be more religious which is fine but considering I'm not religious and she tried to force her beliefs on me, this pissed me off so much. Even my parents were shocked when she said this to my face. My parents are Christians but not extreme and they don't mind that I'm not religious. This prompted a HUGE argument between me and her. To top it all off, my family (all Christians) supported me and not her and told her she can't tell me what to do. She's half the reason I went travelling in the first place, just because I didn't want to argue with her any more.
Can I just say, I don't have a problem with religion or Christianity, I just have a problem with my sister being a hypocrite and then using her religion to falsely justify herself. To put it boldly, she's a terrible Christian in my eyes and a pretty terrible human being in general. She's the kind of person who would scream about women not having equal rights and that women should be treated equally to men yet has a fit when a man won't pay for her things because "he is supposed to". She's annoying and a brat and I can't believe I once looked up to her. She is a crazy ****ing psycho.
She is also a compulsive liar and is very selfish. She has a problem with being told what to do (and because of this she has been fired from 2 jobs). She does not respect anyone but out grandparents and that's only because they're loaded. When my parents used to get mad at her for not doing the dishes (while she still lived at home), she would 'run away' to our grandmothers house and tell our grandmother that my parents are bullying her and my grandmother would force my mother and father to apologise to her. They only told her to do the damn dishes!
If I had a sister I truly cared for, loved for and respected, I wouldn't be asking this question. She doesn't deserve the love she receives and I'm scared she's going to pull her fiancé down and down until they can't pick themselves up. I'm scared she is going to raise a disrespectful and intolerant child who is just like her.
So maybe I am a terrible sister, but I am not worse than her.
Either way she is your sibling by blood are you willing to go as far as to destroy their marriage and potentially damage the life of an unborn child. Think about it you're not thinking rationally but on spite and jealousy. Stop being so selfish and move on find someone else and mind your own business, your sister could be worst person. However that is her problem not yours.
The relationship between your sister and yourself is toxic keep this up and it will most likely break the people around you apart.
Original post by Anonymous
A bit long - don't bother reading if you get bored easily.
Should I go for it?
Should I go for it?
Back off your sister's fiance and their relationship altogether. With all due respect, you sound a rather unpleasant person. You are trying to justify a grotesque intention by telling yourself that she does not deserve him anyway. But regardless of whether you like your sister and her choices, nobody assigned you as other people's moral arbiter. Get your own life.
Tbh, you both sound as horrible as each other.
Spoiler
(edited 9 years ago)
This is straight off Maury or the Jerry Springer Show, or more probably a massive troll.If this is actually real, why don't you think about more substantial reasons to fancy someone other than they are attractive and earn a bit of money? Additionally if you're actually a Christian, why don't you go back and read the New Testament? I hear that Jesus guy said something about loving your family not trying to tear their world's apart.
Sigh.
No, just no.
There are certain lines you don't cross in life. This is one of them.
This says a lot more about you than her. I don't care how much you don't like her, don't even go there.
Take note of what you find attractive in him and find someone of your own.
Seriously, remove any thought of this from your memory.
No, just no.
There are certain lines you don't cross in life. This is one of them.
This says a lot more about you than her. I don't care how much you don't like her, don't even go there.
Take note of what you find attractive in him and find someone of your own.
Seriously, remove any thought of this from your memory.
Maybe you are just horny and lusting after this guy and trying to rationalise it by saying how bad your sister is. She is still your sister also they are having a child together so seriously get a grip.
Surprised not one person has spared a solitary thought to the one innocent party in this whole thing - the baby, the OPs niece/nephew.
You might not like your sister - but surely you can't have anything against a baby?
Get you're own man.
Posted from TSR Mobile
You might not like your sister - but surely you can't have anything against a baby?
Get you're own man.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by PrittyVacant
Surprised not one person has spared a solitary thought to the one innocent party in this whole thing - the baby, the OPs niece/nephew.
You might not like your sister - but surely you can't have anything against a baby?
Get you're own man.
Posted from TSR Mobile
You might not like your sister - but surely you can't have anything against a baby?
Get you're own man.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Your*
Sorry, I'm a grammar nazi and I don't know how you even made that mistake.
On topic: Nah, you shouldn't go for it. As some others have said, the kid is probably the most important party in this. You don't want to screw up his childhood before it even begins. Get over your petty grudge because it sounds childish tbh. You don't like her, that's fine. Simply don't associate yourself with her, and definitely don't bang her dude. Not sure why he's touching you either, the guy sounds like a scumbag. In any case just keep your distance, getting with her fiance to get back at her would be beyond pathetic and trashy. The idea of it alone makes me sick.
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