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Long distance relationship advice
hey
i am considering getting back with my ex and having a long distance relationship. was wondering about anyone's experiences with long distance relationships, did they last long, was it unbearable, how did they cope with the distance, etc... and any advice would be great.
thankyou!
xxxx
i am considering getting back with my ex and having a long distance relationship. was wondering about anyone's experiences with long distance relationships, did they last long, was it unbearable, how did they cope with the distance, etc... and any advice would be great.
thankyou!
xxxx
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I'm also considering this also - so any advice given would be a huge help... But the advice that's been thrown at me the past few weeks has been, remember that an ex is an ex for a reason... also unless there is complete trust betwwen you both than that would be a real killer of not only your relationship but also sanity lol.
thte thing that makes it hard (especially at the beginning) is the feeling of lust and frustration at m=not being around them all the time but thenagain that can be seen as a good thing
The reletive success of Long distance relationships rely more on equality than any other kind of relationship as it requires you both making the effort and keeping the thing alive with 300 miles between you.
i'd say go for it as you only regret the things you don't do but remember if its going to work it will take alot of effort - i hope he/she's worth it.
thte thing that makes it hard (especially at the beginning) is the feeling of lust and frustration at m=not being around them all the time but thenagain that can be seen as a good thing
The reletive success of Long distance relationships rely more on equality than any other kind of relationship as it requires you both making the effort and keeping the thing alive with 300 miles between you.
i'd say go for it as you only regret the things you don't do but remember if its going to work it will take alot of effort - i hope he/she's worth it.
Do not get back with him unless you have a solid plan to live in the same place again in the future. If you're just floating around far away from each other not knowing where your future will be going, it's probably a waste of time. And how many times would you see each other? I think once a month is the bare-BARE minimum.
How wise it is to get back with an ex, I don't know. Never had any experience in the matter. As for LDRs though, I've been with my boyfriend for two years now. We started going out while he was at uni, and I was at home (about two hours away.) It was weird, but because we were used to it from the start, we were ok with it. You need a lot of trust, and a lot of patience at times. We were able to spend holidays, and some weekends together though, and I wouldn't have changed it for the world. We then had one beautiful summer together, and now he's finished uni and I've just started! (Typical!) We're four hours apart now, and although its weird to go back to being a distance thing, I'm hopeful that we'll manage.
Long distance relationships can be hard, but in my experience, they're not impossible. In fact I've found that the build up to the next time you'll see someone, the anticipation and excitment can lead to a very intense and passionate relationship
Plus, I'd advise going on contract (not running up stupid phonebills) getting msn messenger, and writing long rambly letters and emails to each other
Long distance relationships can be hard, but in my experience, they're not impossible. In fact I've found that the build up to the next time you'll see someone, the anticipation and excitment can lead to a very intense and passionate relationship
Plus, I'd advise going on contract (not running up stupid phonebills) getting msn messenger, and writing long rambly letters and emails to each other
*Fliss*
I agree with the 'ex is an ex for a reason' idea. Just never seemed like a good idea, but your situation may be different so I can't say anything about that.
How big is the distance between you and how often would you be seeing each other? Frustration is a horrible thing.
How big is the distance between you and how often would you be seeing each other? Frustration is a horrible thing.
for me the distance is around an hour and a half train journey, every few weeks.
for me, long distance is london and italy. but we've planned until christmas, and we'll see eahc other every month. he's only in italy for his year abroad so he'll be back in july, and we've got some of the same friends.
we broke up before he went away because of the distance, i didn't want to try and thought we would get back together anyway in july. we have split for 2 months now, but we still talk on the phone everyday. but i miss him so much and he misses me too and we still love each other so we have decided that we would get back together when i see him in a month.
do you think that you mature and grow up a bit becuase you are in this long distance relationship?
we broke up before he went away because of the distance, i didn't want to try and thought we would get back together anyway in july. we have split for 2 months now, but we still talk on the phone everyday. but i miss him so much and he misses me too and we still love each other so we have decided that we would get back together when i see him in a month.
do you think that you mature and grow up a bit becuase you are in this long distance relationship?
I've not broken up with my g/f, but we are finding it hard (we're both at uni) even though its only 2hrs on the train. We do have the same idea that we'll live in the same place when both courses are finished, but she has a year abroad in France and Russia in her 3rd year.
It is hard, and the vital bit is trust but its definitely worth it!
It is hard, and the vital bit is trust but its definitely worth it!
For me long distance was England and China, so I can feel your pain haha. As the others have said, trust is parramount. Your relationship simply will not survive without it if you are constantly suspicious. Bear in mind also that there is little chance of you ever finding out if your partner was unfaithful, so best not to worry....
The equality thing is also important, as if one partner feels they are making all the effort, resentment can quickly build up.
Surprise calls and visits can be the best thing in the world.
The equality thing is also important, as if one partner feels they are making all the effort, resentment can quickly build up.
Surprise calls and visits can be the best thing in the world.
I'm in a long distance relationship and it gets quite hard with not being able to see each other but we get through it (or have done in the 8 months we've been together). We phone, send gifts and use email a lot so that helps things.
Wow. And I thought Leeds - Oxford was bad 
Still, I hope you can make it work Good luck!
PM me if you ever feel the need, if you just want to have a whinge/moan/worry about the distance thing
Still, I hope you can make it work
Good luck!PM me if you ever feel the need, if you just want to have a whinge/moan/worry about the distance thing
My partner and I will have been together 2 years at Christmas.
I live in SE England, he lives in SE France!
We cope by talking *every* night on MSN or the phone, even if we've got nothing more to say than what we had for tea. Communication really is the most important thing. We're both rather busy at the moment so we're only seeing each other once every 2 months
But he's worth it and we've managed this way for quite a while now. I'm planning to do a Masters in the UK then move to France to be with him, so it's really just a matter of time. If it's worth fighting for then the distance won't be a problem. If you break up, chances are it would have ended anyway for reasons other than the distance.
In truth I'm more worried by the fact that you're considering getting back with your ex - wasn't there a reason you broke up originally? Still, you know him better than we do, whoever he is.
I live in SE England, he lives in SE France!
We cope by talking *every* night on MSN or the phone, even if we've got nothing more to say than what we had for tea. Communication really is the most important thing. We're both rather busy at the moment so we're only seeing each other once every 2 months
But he's worth it and we've managed this way for quite a while now. I'm planning to do a Masters in the UK then move to France to be with him, so it's really just a matter of time. If it's worth fighting for then the distance won't be a problem. If you break up, chances are it would have ended anyway for reasons other than the distance.In truth I'm more worried by the fact that you're considering getting back with your ex - wasn't there a reason you broke up originally? Still, you know him better than we do, whoever he is.
well this may sound stupid coming from me but i have a long distance thing and eveythings are cool i mean we can balance things just right but u do miss the person a hell of a lot, i think long distance is about trust and how much confidence you have in your partner so the both off you can get through the hardest of times
i mean we can balance things just right but u do miss the person a hell of a lot, i think long distance is about trust and how much confidence you have in your partner so the both off you can get through the hardest of times 
shinyhappy
How wise it is to get back with an ex, I don't know. Never had any experience in the matter. As for LDRs though, I've been with my boyfriend for two years now. We started going out while he was at uni, and I was at home (about two hours away.) It was weird, but because we were used to it from the start, we were ok with it. You need a lot of trust, and a lot of patience at times. We were able to spend holidays, and some weekends together though, and I wouldn't have changed it for the world. We then had one beautiful summer together, and now he's finished uni and I've just started! (Typical!) We're four hours apart now, and although its weird to go back to being a distance thing, I'm hopeful that we'll manage.
Long distance relationships can be hard, but in my experience, they're not impossible. In fact I've found that the build up to the next time you'll see someone, the anticipation and excitment can lead to a very intense and passionate relationship
Plus, I'd advise going on contract (not running up stupid phonebills) getting msn messenger, and writing long rambly letters and emails to each other
Long distance relationships can be hard, but in my experience, they're not impossible. In fact I've found that the build up to the next time you'll see someone, the anticipation and excitment can lead to a very intense and passionate relationship
Plus, I'd advise going on contract (not running up stupid phonebills) getting msn messenger, and writing long rambly letters and emails to each other
ellewoods
My boyfriend and I survived me being away at uni while he worked back at home, and he still works away a lot now.
We had our problems sometimes making it work, but only practically ie train times, fitting in visits around both of us working as well as my lectures, financial issues. It wasn't a particularly easy thing to do, but we love each other, and everything in life worth having is hard work sometimes. All this stuff about true love being easy and if you have difficulties then its not true love is rubbish. Sometimes you have to work at your relationship, but this can also be a good thing - it focuses your attention on it, rather than neglecting it because you assume everything is going swimmingly.
It sounds a bit cheesy, but if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.
If it isn't going to work, it won't work whether you live 100 miles or 100 metres apart.
We had our problems sometimes making it work, but only practically ie train times, fitting in visits around both of us working as well as my lectures, financial issues. It wasn't a particularly easy thing to do, but we love each other, and everything in life worth having is hard work sometimes. All this stuff about true love being easy and if you have difficulties then its not true love is rubbish. Sometimes you have to work at your relationship, but this can also be a good thing - it focuses your attention on it, rather than neglecting it because you assume everything is going swimmingly.
It sounds a bit cheesy, but if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.
If it isn't going to work, it won't work whether you live 100 miles or 100 metres apart.
I've been in a long distance relationship before, and like everyone else is saying it will work if you both put the effort in and there is 110% trust. Sure there will be times when all you want is a hug from them and you can't, but you can always phone/text/talk on msn. Nothing we want in life comes easy. Good luck.
I never like the idea of going back with an ex, as others have said they are an ex for a reason.
My relationship lasted over a year of us being long distance, and now we live just up the road from eachother!
Although, another thing to bear in mind..exes are usually exes for a reason.... (I have now seen others have said that already... but it is an important factor so I'll leave it there anyway!)
Although, another thing to bear in mind..exes are usually exes for a reason.... (I have now seen others have said that already... but it is an important factor so I'll leave it there anyway!)
I'm currently in a long distance relationship. I'm in Spain and my boyfriend is back home in Britain. We've now been seeing one another for two years(we met at University, he's now graduated and I'm on my year abroad) but we always had a bit of distance issue from the outset. This is because for me home was Plymouth and for him home was Leicester.
He's coming out to see me in three weeks, and I think if at all possible that is the first crucial tip. You must see each other at some point. Although we haven't technically seen each other in three months now we have been in constant contact with letters, emails and telephone calls. I know when I go back at Christmas I've arranged to spend some time with him.. and hopefully if we're still together come June time when I finish here, I'll need to spend some time with him to resettle myself back into the British lifestyle! (It is so different out here, honestly.)
I think the other tip is to not confine yourself if you are in a long distance relationship. If you do meet someone else, who takes your breath away you should not just deny that just because you're in a relationship. I've not met anyone else who has the same effect on me that my boyfriend has yet, but I think whilst you're still young and have the freedom you shouldn't force confinement on yourself. You can definitely look, but in my case I don't want or haven't found something to touch other than my boyfriend.
Also, I think the fact that in long distance relationships the fact that you are comfortable without your other half stands you in good stead because it means you can be your own person, and be with another person at the same time.
He's coming out to see me in three weeks, and I think if at all possible that is the first crucial tip. You must see each other at some point. Although we haven't technically seen each other in three months now we have been in constant contact with letters, emails and telephone calls. I know when I go back at Christmas I've arranged to spend some time with him.. and hopefully if we're still together come June time when I finish here, I'll need to spend some time with him to resettle myself back into the British lifestyle! (It is so different out here, honestly.)
I think the other tip is to not confine yourself if you are in a long distance relationship. If you do meet someone else, who takes your breath away you should not just deny that just because you're in a relationship. I've not met anyone else who has the same effect on me that my boyfriend has yet, but I think whilst you're still young and have the freedom you shouldn't force confinement on yourself. You can definitely look, but in my case I don't want or haven't found something to touch other than my boyfriend.
Also, I think the fact that in long distance relationships the fact that you are comfortable without your other half stands you in good stead because it means you can be your own person, and be with another person at the same time.
Yeah I found that, it's really good being able to have separate friends and be able to have your own lives separately but still be in a relationship. It means that you can have your own space when you need it.
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