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Long distance relationship advice watch

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    For me, its not the trust issue thats a problem, its the fact that I have no time to see him, my course is so intense, and also that trains cost so much when you're 300 miles apart! x
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    well we split up because i was scared of the distance and thought that i would find it easier to cope without him, cold turkey, than missing him so badly (like i did during the holidays cos we live really far apart). but i found it was the opposite when we it actually happened.

    2 months without him, and i have made a big effort to keep myself busy and doing things that i wouldn't have the time to do if he was still here, because we spent every second together before he went away. i think i am getting stronger as a person cos i am really clingy normally. i still miss him and we talk everyday. at the moment i'm happy. but i'm scared that i'm still in some sort of honeymoon period, and i won't be able to cope later...
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    (Original post by lilac!!)
    well this may sound stupid coming from me but i have a long distance thing and eveythings are cool i mean we can balance things just right but u do miss the person a hell of a lot, i think long distance is about trust and how much confidence you have in your partner so the both off you can get through the hardest of times
    That is a really good comment
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    Me and my boyfriend both started uni in sept. However, we are now having to live 200 miles apart. Whilst i still live at home, he moved away. We have been together for 2 years now, and we had seen each other EVERY SINGLE DAY during this time, and so now we are apart it is killing me. He is my best friend, my lover, everything! We both know we want to get married in the future etc, but i really don't kno if i can cope with this for the next 3 years. I cry every day, and i kno he does too. We see each other every weekend, but its so expensive to do, and most of our weekends are spent travelling to one another. We speak on the phone 4 hours on end every night, but its still not enough. I want to hold him, to look at him, but i can't.
    I trust him completely and don't doubt 4 one minute that he would be unfaithful to him. He makes me soooo happy, but when im not with him im so sad that im worried im suffering from depression. The weekends are the highlight of the week 4 both of us, and i know we WILL both make it work, its just a very hard step to take. It involves a lot of compromise, but i can't hold him back from his dreams. If you love someone, you've got to do what's right for them, to make them happy. If you want it, u will work at it!
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    if you can do it, go for it! if you really both want to be together it will work out okay in the end good luck! xXx
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    I've got a long distance relationship with my guy cos he's over 5 hours away at uni. Its the most horrible thing especially when you're used to seeing them every day. Other factors about my friends and family haven't helped matters and I could have done with him here but thats something else that can't be helped. I haven't seen him in 5 weeks and I have no intention of waiting that long ever again.

    One of my mates from college has it far worse because her other half is in Dubai and they see eachother about twice a year, although I think its only going to be once this year because she can't go home during the christmas holiday.

    I wouldn't be able to do this personally but I'd still prefer that to not having my guy at all. He's said the same thing.

    If you really want to be with him then theres a lot you'd have to think about, can you trust him? will whatever broke you apart before cause problems again? can you handle seeing him rarely?
    Think about it thoroughy before you get back with him because if not you'll only get hurt and twice burnt by the same guy will not be nice.
    Good luck if you go for it and if you don't theres plenty other people.
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    (Original post by fairycakes)
    hey

    i am considering getting back with my ex and having a long distance relationship. was wondering about anyone's experiences with long distance relationships, did they last long, was it unbearable, how did they cope with the distance, etc... and any advice would be great.

    thankyou!

    xxxx
    hehe hiya fairycakes!!!! Yeah I had the same thoughts a while back and personally if you both think you can make it work, give it a go - for me personally it was unbearable I couldn't do it any longer it literally drove me insane. The distance is far yeah, but if you can webcam, phone, text, msn it shouldn't be as bad truthfully I do love my boyfriend immensely but the distance, yeah it does get in the way but I don't judge it as a factor that I would break up with him for it - it's just silly if you both really do like each other, and if you do you'll find a way to make it work
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    I said I woudn't ever do a long distance relationship again. I tried it. It didn't work. However, since being at uni, I clicked with a quy..and now he's my boyfriend. He's amazing, but I'm dreading going home at xmas, he lives 200 miles away.
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    (Original post by trixie)
    For me, its not the trust issue thats a problem, its the fact that I have no time to see him, my course is so intense, and also that trains cost so much when you're 300 miles apart! x
    (Original post by SC7)
    Fly away, swim the ocean blue, drive that open road...
    Budget airlines, if you're both close to airports, = nominal fee + £15-20 tax.
    Intercity coaches start at £1 on National Express and Megabus.
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    neva go bak u will regret it
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    (Original post by Ron Stoppable)

    Budget airlines, if you're both close to airports, = nominal fee + £15-20 tax.
    Intercity coaches start at £1 on National Express and Megabus.

    Gotta love this guy, he's quite right.
    I can get a return coach ticket from Oxford to Leeds for £13 (two changes each way though) and it only takes about 70 minutes longer than the train each way (and yet is £50/(£30 with a student railcard) cheaper!
    And, book train tickets way in advance (1/2 months) and you can get stupidly cheap sets of 2 singles. (Rather than a £43 return ticket, I can get two singles for £7.90 each.)
    My parents just upped and left Leeds, where my bf lives, and have moved to the Isle of Wight... so (coupled with the fact that I'm spending term time in Oxford) I think I'll gain a lot of experience of trains/coach journeys over the next couple of years
    Anyway, good luck with it all!
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    (Original post by mighty-mouse)
    Me and my boyfriend both started uni in sept. However, we are now having to live 200 miles apart. Whilst i still live at home, he moved away. We have been together for 2 years now, and we had seen each other EVERY SINGLE DAY during this time, and so now we are apart it is killing me. He is my best friend, my lover, everything! We both know we want to get married in the future etc, but i really don't kno if i can cope with this for the next 3 years. I cry every day, and i kno he does too. We see each other every weekend, but its so expensive to do, and most of our weekends are spent travelling to one another. We speak on the phone 4 hours on end every night, but its still not enough. I want to hold him, to look at him, but i can't.
    I trust him completely and don't doubt 4 one minute that he would be unfaithful to him. He makes me soooo happy, but when im not with him im so sad that im worried im suffering from depression. The weekends are the highlight of the week 4 both of us, and i know we WILL both make it work, its just a very hard step to take. It involves a lot of compromise, but i can't hold him back from his dreams. If you love someone, you've got to do what's right for them, to make them happy. If you want it, u will work at it!
    Can I ask how you're both doing at making friends, since so much of your time seems to be focused on one another?
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    (Original post by mighty-mouse)
    Me and my boyfriend both started uni in sept. However, we are now having to live 200 miles apart. Whilst i still live at home, he moved away. We have been together for 2 years now, and we had seen each other EVERY SINGLE DAY during this time, and so now we are apart it is killing me. He is my best friend, my lover, everything! We both know we want to get married in the future etc, but i really don't kno if i can cope with this for the next 3 years. I cry every day, and i kno he does too. We see each other every weekend, but its so expensive to do, and most of our weekends are spent travelling to one another. We speak on the phone 4 hours on end every night, but its still not enough. I want to hold him, to look at him, but i can't.
    I trust him completely and don't doubt 4 one minute that he would be unfaithful to him. He makes me soooo happy, but when im not with him im so sad that im worried im suffering from depression. The weekends are the highlight of the week 4 both of us, and i know we WILL both make it work, its just a very hard step to take. It involves a lot of compromise, but i can't hold him back from his dreams. If you love someone, you've got to do what's right for them, to make them happy. If you want it, u will work at it!
    I'm in exactly the same situation as you. Except I lived with him before moving away to uni. He works in my hometown and is trying desperately to move up here which is so exciting for when it eventually happens. We've talked so much about marriage and our lives together and i can really see it happening. The best thing we have is trust, i never feel like i can't talk to him or worry about what he's up to. But right now it really gets me down. i'm normally a really solid, always happy person. here, i'm shutting myself away, getting really bad bouts of unhappiness (i donno whether to call them depression really because i know depression can be way more serious, but thats what it feels like), and i feel like i've not met as many people as everyone else because of doing that. I miss physical contact the most i suppose, because we can talk all the time online/phone/msn etc, but even thats still not the same really. We're 350miles apart and it costs at least £70 each time we visit each other. i've gone one month already and i'm really not coping. soooo, looking forward to him moving.
    For those who feel the same way, hang in. If you feel like you're meant to be with someone and you really love and connect with them then you should never feel like they're not making the effort to be with you. It will solve itself, whether in the next few weeks, months or years, you'll end up together.:suith:
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    I'm in a sort of LDR, my fiance is an hour away in Gloucester, and we have been this way since the start of our relationship. It is very difficult to juggle communicating with him regularly and still keeping my social life up to a decent standard with my friends, as well as seeing him whenever its possible, but its worth it. I am moving to live with him as soon as I get a job, and can't wait. Just remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and you will be back in the same area eventually!
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    My last relationship went on for 2 years with us both living together before becoming an LDR, and yet it did not survive. As a result of the experience I now think the following:

    Strangely I still think LDR's can work but only if the separation is a defined period and there is a definite future time of being in the same place to look forward to.

    First I am assuming that an LDR means a separation of more than 3 months, less than that is in my view not a problem. I am actually generally thinking of a separation of 5 months or more.

    You must see each other at least once a year of course, really you need to be able to see each other more than that, but if you are talking about the possibility of not seeing each other for 13 months then unless you are quite old and have been together for a long time it will not work.

    The relationship must be quite strong and established prior to the separation and you must already openly love each other, and in my case even these things were not enough. You cannot turn a one month relationship into an LDR and expect things to work out, unless you live in 18th century England or some other historical setting of that kind.

    Particularly I don’t think one can get back together with an ex straight into an LDR. Getting back with an ex is problematic enough in normal circumstances and not usually advisable because people generally break up for specific reasons and unless those causes are no longer in effect they will be a cause of future trouble.

    Another key difficulty is whether you can manage arguments in an LDR; without the physical element of kiss and make up, or angry post-argument sex this can be very difficult. Clearly as with other elements of an LDR communication is key. If you are an open communicative couple things can be worked out most of the time.

    When people start playing mind games LDRs also do not work. You need to be straight with each other.

    Finally a huge amount of effort in long msn, skype and phone conversations is needed throughout. Without all the circumstances being right, I don’t think one should even attempt an LDR.
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    I'm another one in a long distance relationship.
    Well its only recently become a LDR- he left for university at the beginning of the month.
    He's 200 miles away, so only 2ish hours on the train, and reading how far apart other couples are, i think i should be grateful for that.
    Honestly though, i absolutely hate it.
    I've seen him once since he left, and its true what they say, being apart does make you treasure what little time you do get together.
    It is so hard not having him here, and im couting down the days until i can see him again.
    As everyone else has said, communication is so important, we talk everyday, so when one of us is feeling a bit rubbish, the other is only a phone call/text/email away.
    In an ideal world he'd be here, but hes not, so you just have to get on with it i reckon.
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    (Original post by fairycakes)
    hey

    i am considering getting back with my ex and having a long distance relationship. was wondering about anyone's experiences with long distance relationships, did they last long, was it unbearable, how did they cope with the distance, etc... and any advice would be great.

    thankyou!

    xxxx
    YOu have to be absolutely sure that you will be able to handle having a long distance relationship as well as enough money to go and visit your other half at least once a month. Remember to talk to your other half every day, as otherwise it could become habit not to talk to them for days at a time, which can make people feel unloved. If you can't phone them up everyday, then use something like MSN or simple email them, it really doesn't matter.

    I have been in a long distance relationship for almost a year and a half and am engaged, so I know how tough it can be, but if you do things right you should be fine.
 
 
 
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