The Student Room Group

yeah, it's been said before...

I know everyone gets fed up of reading these threads, but I'm in love with one of my teachers. Seriously. He was new last year and began teaching me then (I'm in upper 6th now) and we always got on well, but we became really close last term - not in a dodgy way, just as a teacher and student who got on well. I started to have feelings for him towards the end of last term and I thought that they would stop over the summer (he's teaching me this year as well), but they haven't at all. If anything, they've become stronger. Some of my friends have had a joke for ages about how we're going to end up together, which have stemmed from stupid things like the way he always seems to look at me in class, but it's getting to the stage where I don't want to lose contact with him when I leave next summer. He's not even physically very attractive, but his personality makes up for that. We're interested in the same sort of things, and I just wonder - I'm not about to come onto him (for the very reason that he is a teacher and it could put his career in jeopardy, as well as destroy any friendship there could have been), but do things like this ever work out? It's not just another pupil-with-a-crush-on-a-teacher - friends of mine have been through that, and this is different...

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Reply 1
Anonymous
I know everyone gets fed up of reading these threads, but I'm in love with one of my teachers. Seriously. He was new last year and began teaching me then (I'm in upper 6th now) and we always got on well, but we became really close last term - not in a dodgy way, just as a teacher and student who got on well. I started to have feelings for him towards the end of last term and I thought that they would stop over the summer (he's teaching me this year as well), but they haven't at all. If anything, they've become stronger. Some of my friends have had a joke for ages about how we're going to end up together, which have stemmed from stupid things like the way he always seems to look at me in class, but it's getting to the stage where I don't want to lose contact with him when I leave next summer. He's not even physically very attractive, but his personality makes up for that. We're interested in the same sort of things, and I just wonder - I'm not about to come onto him (for the very reason that he is a teacher and it could put his career in jeopardy, as well as destroy any friendship there could have been), but do things like this ever work out? It's not just another pupil-with-a-crush-on-a-teacher - friends of mine have been through that, and this is different..


:rolleyes:

Ask him out on a date.
Reply 2
oh rite its NOT just another one. :rolleyes:
you said yor self you dont want to put his carrer in jeopardy and ruin friendship
u should definately wait until after you finish school if you want to do anything, it's not that long to wait! i mean if it's really worht having a relationship with this guy, then it won't matter if u wait a while.
Reply 4
you're old enough to decide for yourself what is right and what is wrong here, and clearly if you don't want to ruin his career you realise that making a move on him would be the wrong thing to do :rolleyes:
Reply 5
I really don't see what the problem is, its not as if you're shagging him or anifn, u have a crush on ur teacher, its perfectly natural and the feeling WILL go away eventually... and if it doesnt, ask him out. Theres actually nothing wrong with that. Unless of course hes old enuff to be ur dad, in which case :eek:
Reply 6
Lala_luv
I really don't see what the problem is, its not as if you're shagging him or anifn, u have a crush on ur teacher, its perfectly natural and the feeling WILL go away eventually... and if it doesnt, ask him out. Theres actually nothing wrong with that. Unless of course hes old enuff to be ur dad, in which case :eek:


Yeah nothing wrong execpt the legal issues.
Crush's on a teacher are normal, but you wouldn't want to act on it least until you left school.
Reply 8
It's just so frustrating, because I like him so much.
I can see his office from one of the staircases I have to use regularly, and when I glance over and see that he's not there, I actually feel disappointed. This isn't just a crush...
I just wonder how he actually feels, not in terms of how a teacher feels about their student, but as a person. It really bugs me that I can't be with him...but at the same time, I'm prepared to wait.
3 words: I LOVE HIM. Arrrghhhh!!! It's bad enough that I feel this way, but about a teacher?!?! Typical! Has anyone here ever had a relationship with a teacher that worked out?
Reply 9
Carl1982
Crush's on a teacher are normal, but you wouldn't want to act on it least until you left school.

i agree
I had a crush on a teacher in year 12. He had the most beautiful eyes and told me I had a lovely accent :love:
He left a few weeks into the course though :sigh:

Anyway, wait till you leave college if you plan on acting on your feelings.
Reply 11
Anonymous
Has anyone here ever had a relationship with a teacher that worked out?


I would doubt that many people have - it's just too difficult. A teacher-pupil role is quite different from a lover-lover role - and people seem to find it just too hard to change. I know it's not a very good example, but think about the teacher-pupil relationship in the 1st series of "Little Britain", if anyone saw it :biggrin:
It is actually possible, a sixth-former at my school ended up marrying one of the teachers......Apparently the affair went on while she was still at school but quite how the teacher got away with I'm not sure...So yeah if you still like him after you leave then fair enough but not sure it's worth risking his job to act on it now.
Anonymous
It's just so frustrating, because I like him so much.
I can see his office from one of the staircases I have to use regularly, and when I glance over and see that he's not there, I actually feel disappointed. This isn't just a crush...
I just wonder how he actually feels, not in terms of how a teacher feels about their student, but as a person. It really bugs me that I can't be with him...but at the same time, I'm prepared to wait.
3 words: I LOVE HIM. Arrrghhhh!!! It's bad enough that I feel this way, but about a teacher?!?! Typical! Has anyone here ever had a relationship with a teacher that worked out?


No, you are mistaken. It is a crush.
Anonymous
It's not just another pupil-with-a-crush-on-a-teacher - friends of mine have been through that, and this is different...
Everyone thinks that their situation is different. The only difference is that you have a less objective view of the situation because you're a part of it. People have a tendancy to get crushes on teachers, probably something to do with balance of power, seeing them a lot and looking up to them.
Anonymous
I can see his office from one of the staircases I have to use regularly, and when I glance over and see that he's not there, I actually feel disappointed. This isn't just a crush...
It sure sounds like a crush to me. Walking past his door hoping to see him is definite crush behaviour. As for you saying that you love him...OK it may feel like that, you may think he's the perfect guy in the world for you, but you can't love someone when you know barely anything about them. You might 'love' this version of him that you have created in your head, but you only see him when he's at work. That's a tiny bit of who he is as a person.

As for you thinking he looks at you in a certain way..etc. I really think it is unlikely. If, hypothetically, he was interested then he'd be very careful not to show it or act on it. You are a pupil, he is a teacher and at the least that would happen is him getting fired if anyone found out. Are you sure that you aren't just scrutinising every teeny tiny detail and making something out of nothing? You wouldn't be the first person to do so.

Sorry, I know this all sounds condescending but I saw tons of my friends back in my school days who had crushes on teachers and it was like this. Right down to them trying to convince me that it was love, not a crush.
Me and my boyfriend (who just happens to be my ex teacher) had our one year anniversary yesterday so these things do happen. But yeah, don't do anything about it while he's still teaching you unless you want to get him into trouble. It may be that you just have a crush on him, as with the majority of cases, which will pass by the time you finish college. My little crushes on teachers at school only lasted a few months but for some reason this one was different. Maybe because I was a lot more mature and more understanding about my feelings (and no, I'm not 18/19 before anyone asks, I'm quite a few years older than that) but yeah, all I'm saying is don't do anything stupid. 99.9% of feelings towards teachers turn out to be crushes. I'm one of the minority. Hell, for all I know it could still be a crush, a long one, but a crush never the less!

Anyway, how old is guy and do you even know if he's single or not?
Reply 16
He's 31 (I'm 18 - I know that's a large age gap, especially because I'm still young, but I know a lot of couples older than me where there's an age gap of at least 7 years), and yes, he is single. It's difficult to explain what he's like, because in terms of academics, he's a complete intellectual, and that's how he appears to others. Some of my friends, who have never been taught by him, say that he comes across as being staid and extremely academic, but having been taught by him for a year and having spoken to him a lot outside of that, he's not stuffy or intellectually snobbish at all. We're very similar, and have a lot in common. To be honest (and believe me, I've thought about this a lot), I think that at the moment, we're both very fond of each other, but that's as far as it goes, because, however strong (certainly my) feelings may be, I'm not going to place either of our positions in jeopardy. I'm certainly not going to do anything about it until after I've left school, if then. I know it comes across as being extremely naive, but I think in a few years....maybe. But I'm not about to turn into some Lolita...I'm just interested to hear if anyone's had a relationship with someone who has taught them that has worked out.
Reply 17
Have you ever actually been in love (other than this obviously)?
Reply 18
Well, I thought I had. I was with someone, and if you had asked me if I loved him, I would have said yes. But my feelings for this guy are even stronger than that. I can't even comprehend not having him as a part of my life.
Reply 19
there are 2 teachers at my school that have gone out with EX pupils. one of them got married and have kids and the other are still going out.
it has as much chance of working as any relationship. but please PLEASE wait until you leave (especially if you care about him as much as you say you do). Good luck! xxx