Sad, lonely and homesick at uni

It started out ok, I made friends and we had a great Freshers going out every night. However, lectures start tomorrow and I'm feeling really down. I haven't made any friends on my course yet - we had an induction and I didn't find that I got on well with many of them - a lot of them seem very "rah" and kinda snooty. I'm lonely. I miss the little things from home like having baths and home cooked meals and being able to chill out and watch TV without there being twenty other people in the room.
I just don't feel like I'm going to make friends who match up to the ones I have at home. The friends I've made so far are the kind of people I can go out and have fun with, but I couldn't tell them deep secrets or anything like that. I'm dreading going in tomorrow and having no one to sit with. I feel really, really low.

Reply 1

Leisure17

8

You will have to give it time. Have a look at all the other threads in this forum addressing the same problem. You are not alone.

End of platitudes.... but seriously, it will get better.

Reply 2

shinyhappy

14

Which uni are you at? I'm going to hazard a guess at Oxford or cambridge, (what with the late start, and the 'rah'ness)
Anyway, you've only been there a week, I assume - which is a really short space of time to make new friends in. The more time you spend with these people, the better you'll get to know them. Like everyone says, join clubs and stuff, you'll find people with similar interests to you!
Good luck with it, anyway :smile:

I've been feeling a little deflated myself tonight (not to mention being nervous about lectures) so kind of comforting to know other people feel the same!

Reply 3

MichailZ

Perhaps keep in touch with your old friends using MSN? Put pictures up of your family?

I am sure that you'll find people you can be friends with quickly. But not too quick. You've been at uni for a week or so. It takes me months to find someone I could tell a secret to (in my new schools) and probably will be the same at uni. Even when I find someone, I don't trust them until they've prooven their character for at least a couple of months.

Finding good friends takes time - I'm sure you'll find some soon. In the meantime, don't lose your old friends.

Michail

Reply 4

Claire_Elizabeth

1

Would you like a cuddle to cheer you up?

Reply 5

Toy Soldier

3

A lot of people feel down and homesick at the end of freshers / start of classes... it's quite normal and you'll probably find it goes away after a while. Also, I'd point out that not having a lot of friends on your course isn't really that big a deal. I have loads of friends at Uni, but only a few (5 or 6) are on my course. Even then, I rarely sit with them in class, I just kinda wander in (usually a bit late) and plonk myself down wherever. When you're in class you'll be working (or at least sitting in lectures pretending to listen), not socialising! So even if you don't make any friends in your classes, it doesn't really matter so long as you have other friends to hang around with out of class. I also think you'll find that a lot of people aren't sitting with people they know.

As for your new friends not being people you can have deep & meaningfuls with - obviously that takes time. On top of that, some of my now best friends at Uni I didn't even talk to until 6 months or so into the year.

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

yea ur not alone, i feel the same way. ive made friends, but im still not close to anyone really, it will take time. it would probably be best if u dont compare them to ur gd friends cuz u still dont know them well. it will take time to make gd friends u can trust and rely on.

Reply 7

wirbelsturm

2

well on the bright side, at least you have a home to be sick of

Reply 8

DarkLight18

Someone said this before, but you are never going to be able to replace the people that you grew up with.

For example tonight, I was out with a mate and was abit bored. Then the mind starts to wounder to the people back home, and you start to miss them.

Reply 9

a_t

16

Anonymous

a lot of them seem very "rah"

I love rah ppl :biggrin:

Anyways, get on the phone to people from school/ sixthform etc

Reply 10

Anonymous #3

Anonymous

It started out ok, I made friends and we had a great Freshers going out every night. However, lectures start tomorrow and I'm feeling really down. I haven't made any friends on my course yet - we had an induction and I didn't find that I got on well with many of them - a lot of them seem very "rah" and kinda snooty. I'm lonely. I miss the little things from home like having baths and home cooked meals and being able to chill out and watch TV without there being twenty other people in the room.
I just don't feel like I'm going to make friends who match up to the ones I have at home. The friends I've made so far are the kind of people I can go out and have fun with, but I couldn't tell them deep secrets or anything like that. I'm dreading going in tomorrow and having no one to sit with. I feel really, really low.

OMG, I could have written this. I feel exactly the same.

Reply 11

Talya

16

shinyhappy

Which uni are you at? I'm going to hazard a guess at Oxford or cambridge, (what with the late start, and the 'rah'ness)

Not necessarily, as you can see, I am at southampton and my first lecture is only tomorrow. Also, there are a lot of rahs in my halls, mainly because they are the 2nd most expensive :smile:

Sad, lonely and homesick at uni

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