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What is the point anymore? watch

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    Hello everyone, I am sorry to the moderators if this is in the wrong place, I just wanted to remain anonymous.

    I am at my wits end here, and feel like I can't go on. I am a Law student at Oxbridge and I just can't cope. I have an essay due tomorrow, 2000 words and I haven't even started as I've felt so low that any reading I have done for it has just went above me. I hand NO ONE to talk to here, as I am from a state school and the majority of the people at my college are from independent schools and want nothing to do with an ugly little pleb like me. Worse of all, I have very limited family and have lost contact with all my friends from school. I really don't know what to do anymore. I know I have depression but am afraid to get it diagnosed by the doctor in case it effects my future employment prospect. I am also worried what will happen when I fail this essay. I can only possibly think of 800 of the 2000 words to write, and even those are rambling on. Honestly, since i've come here the isolation has caused me to fee so low that I'e lost all of the intelligence and motivation which got me here, I bet a GCSE student would get a higher mark in this essay than me. Am I going to be kicked out when I fail? I have contacted the Nightline for anonymous support, but all they can do is listen and not advise, so they can't really help me much. I'm too scared to see my tutor, as I know she'll kick me out.

    Literally feeling so low that when I saw the lecturer who said 'I bet it's all gone beyond whoosh for you' in front of the whole class publicly exposing me as an idiot I was about to jump in front of a bus in his view, but he looked away and wouldn't have cared anyway. What is the point anymore? I've worked so hard from a state school to get here, yet I feel so stupid now and have NO friends whatsoever. I wish that God would spare another victim of Ebola and take me instead, as I am a worthless idoit with no future, friends or anyone who cares. I'm going to FAIL this essay, and get kicked out and my life will be worthless.
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    To say such a thing is awful. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, there are people out there who have it worse. You think Ebola is a good thing? You're thinking like a quitter so therefore this will affect your behaviour. Start thinking positively and prove people who think low of you, wrong.
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    Effort=Success
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    Depression is very serious, and people tend to brush it off easily. You need to seek professional help for it, it's not something that just goes away. It won't affect your future employment, because you're not forced to disclose your medical history on job applications.

    For the essay, listen to this to try help you out. I use it when I have an essay due soon, it really helps. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqRZ2_w56U0

    All the best.
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    (Original post by Safiya122)
    To say such a thing is awful. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, there are people out there who have it worse. You think Ebola is a good thing? You're thinking like a quitter so therefore this will affect your behaviour. Start thinking positively and prove people who think low of you, wrong.
    I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I just have no one and no motivation. People don't think low of me (apart from some of my lecturers), they just see me as insignificant and think nothing of me at all. At sixth form I was really liked, but here I am nothing. I don't really have a purpose here, I don't know why O was admitted to this university as I am nowhere near it's standards.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello everyone, I am sorry to the moderators if this is in the wrong place, I just wanted to remain anonymous.

    I am at my wits end here, and feel like I can't go on. I am a Law student at Oxbridge and I just can't cope. I have an essay due tomorrow, 2000 words and I haven't even started as I've felt so low that any reading I have done for it has just went above me. I hand NO ONE to talk to here, as I am from a state school and the majority of the people at my college are from independent schools and want nothing to do with an ugly little pleb like me. Worse of all, I have very limited family and have lost contact with all my friends from school. I really don't know what to do anymore. I know I have depression but am afraid to get it diagnosed by the doctor in case it effects my future employment prospect. I am also worried what will happen when I fail this essay. I can only possibly think of 800 of the 2000 words to write, and even those are rambling on. Honestly, since i've come here the isolation has caused me to fee so low that I'e lost all of the intelligence and motivation which got me here, I bet a GCSE student would get a higher mark in this essay than me. Am I going to be kicked out when I fail? I have contacted the Nightline for anonymous support, but all they can do is listen and not advise, so they can't really help me much. I'm too scared to see my tutor, as I know she'll kick me out.

    Literally feeling so low that when I saw the lecturer who said 'I bet it's all gone beyond whoosh for you' in front of the whole class publicly exposing me as an idiot I was about to jump in front of a bus in his view, but he looked away and wouldn't have cared anyway. What is the point anymore? I've worked so hard from a state school to get here, yet I feel so stupid now and have NO friends whatsoever. I wish that God would spare another victim of Ebola and take me instead, as I am a worthless idoit with no future, friends or anyone who cares. I'm going to FAIL this essay, and get kicked out and my life will be worthless.
    Why don't you try and speak to your University student service team member and explain your situation after tomorrow, I am sure that universities have befrienders who will help you make friends, and show you around the college. Its quite a common problem for stress and depression to come from no social support in the first year of university which is probably why you are struggling with your course, social, not intelligence. As for your teacher, you could report him if you wished to the same student services, and explain what he said in class and how it affected you.

    In the meantime I know this sounds cliche and is hard to apply if you have an assignment tomorrow to finish but try and think positive, just that simple thought process can change your behavior and outlook. I'm sure everything will be fine!
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    (Original post by Mr.Econometrics)
    Depression is very serious, and people tend to brush it off easily. You need to seek professional help for it, it's not something that just goes away. It won't affect your future employment, because you're not forced to disclose your medical history on job applications.

    For the essay, listen to this to try help you out. I use it when I have an essay due soon, it really helps. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqRZ2_w56U0

    All the best.
    Thank you very much, I'll take a listen for the essay. I just can't seen to find a way out of these low thoughts. My self esteem has fallen off the scale since I came here, I see myself as such an idiot compared to everyone else here. In sixth form I was so positive and happy, I just wish I could go back.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I just have no one and no motivation. People don't think low of me (apart from some of my lecturers), they just see me as insignificant and think nothing of me at all. At sixth form I was really liked, but here I am nothing. I don't really have a purpose here, I don't know why O was admitted to this university as I am nowhere near it's standards.
    Speak to your lecturers, tell them how their comments are affecting your studies and when you're stuck on something - ask them for help.
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    (Original post by Safiya122)
    Speak to your lecturers, tell them how their comments are affecting your studies and when you're stuck on something - ask them for help.
    I'll speak to them about it next week, hopefully they won't be like that again. It was just one who made that remark, the rest are okay, they haven't said anything. I don't really see them much as we don't have much contact time unlike science/maths students, which is awful, as it plays in to me having zero motivation.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'll speak to them about it next week, hopefully they won't be like that again. It was just one who made that remark, the rest are okay, they haven't said anything. I don't really see them much as we don't have much contact time unlike science/maths students, which is awful, as it plays in to me having zero motivation.
    If it continues then report your lecturer, he shouldn't be saying things like that anyways
    • #3
    #3

    I had periods in life when the going was tough/ too. And you know what I did? Simple. I realised that everything in life, good or bad, that happens to me, is my fault. I stopped blaming other things/factors, and blamed everything on myself. This has honestly helped me become a more confident person with regular hobbies I do, improved my grades, an helped me make some real good friends.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you very much, I'll take a listen for the essay. I just can't seen to find a way out of these low thoughts. My self esteem has fallen off the scale since I came here, I see myself as such an idiot compared to everyone else here. In sixth form I was so positive and happy, I just wish I could go back.
    I totally understand, I came from a state school too. I'm in my second year now, and I've come to realise that it's something that tends to get better over time. Good luck.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I had periods in life when the going was tough/ too. And you know what I did? Simple. I realised that everything in life, good or bad, that happens to me, is my fault. I stopped blaming other things/factors, and blamed everything on myself. This has honestly helped me become a more confident person with regular hobbies I do, improved my grades, an helped me make some real good friends.
    lolwut? So if my dad in Canada gets steamrolled over by a 4x4 whose driver's on LSD while I'm in Australia, it's my fault? If I am sexually abused as a child it's my fault? As a less extreme example, if my lecturer can't be arsed coming in to lecture today because he on a stag night the night before, it's MY fault? The student's fault?

    Principle of accountability and self-responsibility is good in evading the self-destructive victim mentality, but jaysus dude, people with depression have enough of a little thing called toxic guilt already. OP will probably take you literally yano
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    As for the essay, if you have not started yet then yes, you will probably fail it. This is not the end of the world. You need to speak to your student adviser now about the problems that you are facing and see what can be done to help you. They might even be able to get you an extension of the deadline. Even if you do fail this essay, it is not over yet.

    This is what you need to realise: you got into Law at Oxbridge because you are a hard-working, intelligent person that can do well in the subject. Just the admissions process to those colleges is enough to confirm that you are good at what you do. There will always be people that think that they are a cut-above because their parents could afford to send them to a fee-paying school. And then there's you, a person that did not need the advantages of paid education because you are good enough on your own. The opinions of the other students does not matter; the opinions of the lecturer do not matter. When it comes down to you and the textbooks, you've got what it takes.

    But why you having such problems right now? This is to do with your lack of emotional well-being, not your lack of passion or ability. You're only human: it hurts to feel isolated and alone with no one else to talk to, and this is affecting your academic performance. This is why you need to talk to your student adviser, who's job it is to manage the welfare of the students, and see what can be done to help you out. Just a bit of advice and positivity will get you back on track - and even if this current essay is a bust, it is NOT the end of your hopes of being a lawyer.
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    Thanks everyone, I'm wondering what will happen if I went to talk to my doctor about depression. If i am diagnosed will I get a black mark against my name? I'd like to be a teacher one day (Law went out the window in the first month of being here), and am scared that if diagnosed that I would be deemed unsuitable for teaching.
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    (Original post by VannR)



    Safiya, that is a pointless rationalisation. Yes, it is true that there are people that are worse off than he/she is; the same can be said of every person on the planet apart from one - the worst off. This does not change how the OP feels about what is happening to them. Let's try to be a bit more supportive instead of essentially saying that he/she does not have the right to feel bad.
    I agree with you but saying something like wishing he had Ebola isn't exactly helping.
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    (Original post by Safiya122)
    I agree with you but saying something like wishing he had Ebola isn't exactly helping.
    I actually edited my quote a few second before your reply; I had not read your reply completely. I thought you were being entirely negative about the OP's feelings, and I did not realise you were actually trying to be supportive.

    My bad
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    (Original post by VannR)
    I actually edited my quote a few second before your reply; I had not read your reply completely. I thought you were being entirely negative about the OP's feelings, and I did not realise you were actually trying to be supportive.

    My bad
    Dw about it I mean some TSR members would say I'm being unhelpful even when I'm actually being helpful :rolleyes: But I guess i shouldn't have started it off negatively, the whole Ebola thing just annoyed me.
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    So, go and get some advice fom your GP and supervisor. It's only an essay and none of what you're feeling is new and you will get through it. Everyone has problems, makes mistakes etc. and it works out all right in the end. Admit some weakness, stabilise and go forward..
    • #4
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks everyone, I'm wondering what will happen if I went to talk to my doctor about depression. If i am diagnosed will I get a black mark against my name? I'd like to be a teacher one day (Law went out the window in the first month of being here), and am scared that if diagnosed that I would be deemed unsuitable for teaching.
    Doctor cannot disclose any personal info about you without your consent. Go get help from your GP.

    I can relate sort of with you, I can from a terrible state school and then went to a med school with mostly posh students. They were more prepared for uni and for me it was difficult initially feeling comfortable around my peers as on the first week some students noted out my working class accent/dialogue & for the first time in my life I was not the most intelligent student like at my school which was also different. Eventually it got easier and I made friends who appreciated my background and being average in med school or at oxbridge is something not to be ashamed of but something you just have to accept.

    Just try and finish this essay in the meantime if you can and prove that lecturer wrong, use his negative attitude as motivation.
 
 
 
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