English GCSE Controlled Assessment Celebrities Watch

Himtiaz
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#1
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This is the introduction for my opinion article on celebrities. I am wondering what you think?

Headlines hit the news today. Bieber arrested for drunk driving. Miley takes nude selfie. Jennifer trips on stairs. These statements are second nature to the news. Now let’s compare this to the headlines of yesterday. Blue LED is discovered. This doesn’t seem like a big deal. But it is! Without this we wouldn’t have technology that the world needs to survive. But out of the public, no one recognises this heroic achievement. But I guarantee that every person will know that Dustbin Beaver was arrested. If you have an IQ above the average beleiber, than I am sure you will know what I am talking about. Celebrities, of course.
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nyash96
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It sounds alright
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karspider
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have more headlines than just "Blue LED is discovered"
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Himtiaz
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What do you think of the sentence length?
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