Should I seek help? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
For a long time I've been putting off seeking mental health help because I thought I could handle it and I didn't want to worry or involve anyone else, like friends or family. However this is now the third year at least that I've spent feeling like this, it set off around September and just keeps getting stronger.

I feel hopeless, useless, hated and I worry about everything. I feel weepy all the time, I feel guilty, I feel like I just make people's lives worse.

I just feel so alone. I don't have any of my friends round. I'm just worried that if I do seek help that it will just upset my family. My parents are quite protective anyway and I'm scared they wouldn't let me move away to uni next year if they knew I was struggling. I don't want to upset them by telling them how scared I am of everything and how much I hate myself.

Worst of all I don't even feel motivated to seek help because I think it would just make things worse. I feel doomed. I feel like even if I got diagnosed with anything and I got some help that I wouldn't be happy. I would just feel doomed and hopeless that I'd have to battle this for my whole life and that's not what I want.

I really don't know what to do
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Sabertooth
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#2
Report 4 years ago
#2
I think it sounds like talking to someone about how you feel would be a good idea. As you've noticed, sometimes these kind of issues don't resolve themselves. You say you've felt this way for 3 years now, I think that's long enough to conclude that getting help is a good idea. It's normal to be worried about your family's reaction with stuff like this but I'm sure you'd agreethat they'd prefer you to be getting on the way to feeling better rather than continuing this. I know it's scary to take that first step and talk to your doctor but they can really help. I used to feel a lot like you and also believed that this was something I'd be struggling with for my whole life but (and I don't mean to brag) I came out the other end and life is sweet, you don't need to continue to suffer in silence. Therapy can be very effective for the kind of thoughts you describe. There's also medication if you want to take that route.

I hope you feel better soon.
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Anonymous #2
#3
Report 4 years ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
For a long time I've been putting off seeking mental health help because I thought I could handle it and I didn't want to worry or involve anyone else, like friends or family. However this is now the third year at least that I've spent feeling like this, it set off around September and just keeps getting stronger.

I feel hopeless, useless, hated and I worry about everything. I feel weepy all the time, I feel guilty, I feel like I just make people's lives worse.

I just feel so alone. I don't have any of my friends round. I'm just worried that if I do seek help that it will just upset my family. My parents are quite protective anyway and I'm scared they wouldn't let me move away to uni next year if they knew I was struggling. I don't want to upset them by telling them how scared I am of everything and how much I hate myself.

Worst of all I don't even feel motivated to seek help because I think it would just make things worse. I feel doomed. I feel like even if I got diagnosed with anything and I got some help that I wouldn't be happy. I would just feel doomed and hopeless that I'd have to battle this for my whole life and that's not what I want.

I really don't know what to do
I'm really sorry that you are feeling this way. I wanted to post on your thread because you are not alone. I am going through EXACTLY the same thing right now. I have forgotten how to smile, how to laugh and I'm always upset when I'm around my friends, which I can see is frustrating for them. I never wanted to burden anyone with my problems so I kept quiet and hoped it would resolve itself. After all, how hard can fighting yourself be? (it's exhausting).

But as the weeks slipped by, I knew that something had to change. Crying myself to sleep every night wasn't going to get any better unless I did something about it. So now one of my friends knows. He isn't judgmental, he listened and he gave me the invaluable advice of opening up to other people. He let me talk and did his absolute best to banish any fears and unrealistic ideas that I had. I told my parents for the first time this weekend and they were unbelievably supportive. They didn't want their child suffering and so together we are going to sort this out - through CBT and meditation (I didn't want the medication route). I went to my GP, who was absolutely lovely and didn't diagnose me (despite my beliefs that she would) and that was something I was terrified of. Being a medical student, I didn't want any record of mental illness to carry with me but going to the GP has started off a chain of events that will eventually help me to get better.

I know this is scary, it is scary beyond belief, but trust me when I say that telling people and not bottling it up was the best thing I could have done. Breakdowns are not fun. Neither is the feeling of absolute despair. Sometimes we have to swallow our own pride and ask for help - I'm sure people will be willing to give it. After all, if you are anything like me (which it sounds like you are), you would do anything to make your friends and family better. So why not give them the same chance? If not them, maybe start with a councillor at Uni/school? You can talk to them and they will often be able to point you in the right direction.

I hope this is vaguely useful for you. It's going to be difficult, I am well aware of that. But bottling it up will only make it worse in the future. Good luck and remember, you are never alone.
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Wimbs
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#4
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What you describe sounds like classic depression. This can be caused by many things - something happened in your past, a chemical imbalance maybe. Although the fact you mention September as the start point indicates something at school/college may be causing it. Maybe you have Seasonal Affective Disorder and it is the lack of daylight! I would also add that I personally think wre live in a somewhat 'depressogenic' society - all sorts of things about society today do not promote good mental health!

The good news is that treatment exists. I would go to your GP and get antidepressants. There is no shame in taking these, you would take a painkiller to treat pain so why not an AD for depression? Pills might not solve the cause if one exists but they may help you feel better. But allow several weeks for them to kick in and if they make you feel suicidal 9which, paradoxically migth happen) you must say something.

Talk to your famiy if you feel able, often depression runs in families and they may have experience that can help!

Good luck - depression is a nasty black dog but it can be treated. Better to deal with it now as well - as Uni can make depression worse if you already have it!
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shawn_o1
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^ if you are only being given medication for your mental health problems then you are not being taken seriously. You need to talk to someone about your problems, most preferably the ones who know you best (or been through similar things as you)

By the way, what makes you so sure that your parents would react negatively to your mental health problems? This kind of "mind-reading" is a bad thinking habit, it even implies that you think your parents are not good enough, which is inexcusable.
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#6
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(Original post by Anonymous)
For a long time I've been putting off seeking mental health help because I thought I could handle it and I didn't want to worry or involve anyone else, like friends or family. However this is now the third year at least that I've spent feeling like this, it set off around September and just keeps getting stronger.

I feel hopeless, useless, hated and I worry about everything. I feel weepy all the time, I feel guilty, I feel like I just make people's lives worse.

I just feel so alone. I don't have any of my friends round. I'm just worried that if I do seek help that it will just upset my family. My parents are quite protective anyway and I'm scared they wouldn't let me move away to uni next year if they knew I was struggling. I don't want to upset them by telling them how scared I am of everything and how much I hate myself.

Worst of all I don't even feel motivated to seek help because I think it would just make things worse. I feel doomed. I feel like even if I got diagnosed with anything and I got some help that I wouldn't be happy. I would just feel doomed and hopeless that I'd have to battle this for my whole life and that's not what I want.

I really don't know what to do
I feel the same and I've had counselling (never medically diagnosed) but it didn't help, it felt like I was getting worse, so I stopped going. And I've talked to a friend, but he's the same so it doesn't help. Too, I'm scared to go to the doctors about it, but I hope it works out for you and someday I'll get the courage to tell someone else.
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Anonymous #3
#7
Report 4 years ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm really sorry that you are feeling this way. I wanted to post on your thread because you are not alone. I am going through EXACTLY the same thing right now. I have forgotten how to smile, how to laugh and I'm always upset when I'm around my friends, which I can see is frustrating for them. I never wanted to burden anyone with my problems so I kept quiet and hoped it would resolve itself. After all, how hard can fighting yourself be? (it's exhausting).

But as the weeks slipped by, I knew that something had to change. Crying myself to sleep every night wasn't going to get any better unless I did something about it. So now one of my friends knows. He isn't judgmental, he listened and he gave me the invaluable advice of opening up to other people. He let me talk and did his absolute best to banish any fears and unrealistic ideas that I had. I told my parents for the first time this weekend and they were unbelievably supportive. They didn't want their child suffering and so together we are going to sort this out - through CBT and meditation (I didn't want the medication route). I went to my GP, who was absolutely lovely and didn't diagnose me (despite my beliefs that she would) and that was something I was terrified of. Being a medical student, I didn't want any record of mental illness to carry with me but going to the GP has started off a chain of events that will eventually help me to get better.

I know this is scary, it is scary beyond belief, but trust me when I say that telling people and not bottling it up was the best thing I could have done. Breakdowns are not fun. Neither is the feeling of absolute despair. Sometimes we have to swallow our own pride and ask for help - I'm sure people will be willing to give it. After all, if you are anything like me (which it sounds like you are), you would do anything to make your friends and family better. So why not give them the same chance? If not them, maybe start with a councillor at Uni/school? You can talk to them and they will often be able to point you in the right direction.

I hope this is vaguely useful for you. It's going to be difficult, I am well aware of that. But bottling it up will only make it worse in the future. Good luck and remember, you are never alone.
Did your GP refer you to counselling then? Do you have to pay for counselling?
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Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
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(Original post by shawn_o1)
^ if you are only being given medication for your mental health problems then you are not being taken seriously. You need to talk to someone about your problems, most preferably the ones who know you best (or been through similar things as you)

By the way, what makes you so sure that your parents would react negatively to your mental health problems? This kind of "mind-reading" is a bad thinking habit, it even implies that you think your parents are not good enough, which is inexcusable.
No it means they have enough on their plates without a mentally ill child to worry about. They're too good for me to bother with this.
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Anonymous #2
#9
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Did your GP refer you to counselling then? Do you have to pay for counselling?
There are options for both. My GP did refer me to CBT but the waiting list was ridiculously long and my parents decided that we would go privately as I need help now. The lady I am going to see has a student rate so it's much cheaper than if you were paying as a normal adult but obviously it is still going to be expensive. Most unis have a counselling service too so it may be worth checking that out.

My GP offered both pharmacological and non-pharma interventions and whilst the drugs are not what I want to take, they may be beneficial for someone else. I would recommend talking to the GP as they might be suitable for you, but again, only you and your GP can decide on that.
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