Two good friends ....eeeb!

OK, so here is the story:

GUY plays bass in a band, drinks heavily, smokes weed, dabbled in other drugs, not to smart, steals, been in a number of sexual relationships as well as long-term relationships.

girl is smart, more than likely going to cambridge, doesnt do any drugs, studys hard, very sensible (apart from drinking) never been in a relationship.

both are 17/18. They are both really good friends of mine. the Guy has been a good friend of mine for a long time and we've been through a lot together. girl i have known for ages but only really been friends with for just over a year, have become very close.

girl has been 'in love' with guy for about two years, embarrasingly so in fact.

guy likes (for want of a better word) sleeping around, just wants to party and have fun with girls "lifes too short" mentality.

heres how it is at the moment. they are in a relationship type thing, or something like that. they mess around, they fumble, and if the opportunity arises they have (or have had) sex. at same time guy goes off and does similarly with other girls.

They are good friends, talking lots, and apparently this situation is cool and has all been explained.

My problem is this, I think that in the long run this could do a lot of damage to the girl, i dont think she really is ok with it, i think she is hoping for things to go further. and i think it'll only end in tears.

what do I do? should i sit on my hands, not meddle, and let them do what they gotta do, or should i maybe say something to the guy (along the lines of, "you really dont know how much girl 'LIKES' you") to step back a little??

hope i explained this situation well enough. ask if you dont get it.

Reply 1

Toy Soldier

3

The only solution is to kill them both before it's too late! Or... not.

Hmm. Have a word with the guy, make sure he's aware that the girl might get hurt. Other than that, I'd just stay out of it, that way you won't get caught in the crossfire.

Reply 2

Flank Runner

Toy Soldier

The only solution is to kill them both before it's too late! Or... not.

Hmm. Have a word with the guy, make sure he's aware that the girl might get hurt. Other than that, I'd just stay out of it, that way you won't get caught in the crossfire.

either that or dont get involved let it run its course and be there to help if things do go belly up

Reply 3

a_t

16

Sit on your hands, if she wasn't happy about it she'd take some initiative.

Reply 4

Toy Soldier

3

Flank Runner

either that or dont get involved let it run its course and be there to help if things do go belly up

That's pretty much what I was suggesting, just that they make sure the guy is aware of the facts before letting it run it's course. It's not really fair to let him go on thinking it's just a bit of fun, then the girl gets hurt. If I was happily having casual sex with some girl, thinking they saw it the same way, then they ended up heartbroken because of me... and then I found out that one of my other friends knew the girl had stronger feelings for me all along but they said nothing... I'd be pretty pissed off.

Reply 5

username47781

20

Yeah there;s two ways either warn the girl and tell her that if she's not comfortable with whats she is doing then tell her to stop sleeping with him. Or let her find out the hard way.

He don't sound that much of a nice guy if he dabbles in drugs and sleeps around.

Reply 6

rosetinted

2

They are good friends, talking lots, and apparently this situation is cool and has all been explained.

So let them get on with it. It really isn't any of your business. They are both old enough to know what they are doing and what they want. It may seem like she's making a mistake, but mistakes are what help us to learn & grow. You may not want to see her get hurt but firstly you don't know that will happen and secondly she probably won't listen to you anyway. Love (or in this case obsession) is blind. She won't want to see this negative stuff and it'll probably mess with your friendship if you do tell her. Just be there to comfort her if it goes tits up.

I've seen a friend go through a cycle of finding losers, becoming fanatical about them, getting her heart broken and then going back and doing it all over again. If I were to interfere she'd be pissed off. I only offer her advice when she asks for it and even then it goes in one ear and out the other. But she's learning and your friend will too. I swear most women I know go through this dumbass phase as they grow up. I've been there and done it too and it did me no lasting damage.

Two good friends ....eeeb!

Related discussions

Articles for you