Should I ask this person out? Watch

ultimatesword
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Hey guys!

I'm in a bit of a predicament. I've liked this girl for a good two years now and I've not asked her out. We don't really talk much at school (we're in Year 12) but have talked loads online. She's told me loads about her personal life as have I and we have loads in common and definitely respect each other. Once in Year 10 we planned on going out or trying it but then she said we don't really talk enough so it might be a little weird and I didn't really think much about it then so didn't really pay much attention to it.

Recently however, something came up. One of her friends, not close at all, asked if I helped her cheat for the chemistry mock exam. I didn't - just merely helped her. I asked the girl I liked if she knew anything about it and she said 'she's probably upset I did better than her'. Quite stupidly, I told her friend this and it opened a complete can of worms. The girl I like messaged me saying you broke our trust and I'm never trusting you again. Whilst saying all of this she seemed very emotional and sad - she's going through some personal issues. I repeatedly apologised and didn't know what else to say.

So advice guys. I have feelings for her and definitely like her - is what I did unforgivable and should I just save myself the embarrassment or should I ask her out and hope for the best?
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asdfghjkl1234567
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I'd suggest giving her a bit more time to get over the exam thing as she still seems a bit upset with you, but once she sees you can be trusted you're more likely to have a chance. I can't tell a lot about your relationship from what you've put but I don't see why you shouldn't ask her out in due time as you seem close
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ultimatesword
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(Original post by asdfghjkl1234567)
I'd suggest giving her a bit more time to get over the exam thing as she still seems a bit upset with you, but once she sees you can be trusted you're more likely to have a chance. I can't tell a lot about your relationship from what you've put but I don't see why you shouldn't ask her out in due time as you seem close
Hmm. I'm not sure if she'll ever think I can be trusted, that's my only worry.

Our relationship seems very meh sorta thing. We're not that close at school and she's in my chemistry class - we do similar a levels so we ask each other for help sometimes. And if I do wait how long aha? I was thinking I do it soon whilst she still has me in her mind if that makes sense but it's a fine line between her liking me and her battering me. Thanks for the advice nonetheless
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ultimatesword
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az08
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You already broke her trust as a friend, shes going to find it hard to think of you as anything more to be honest..as you got off on the wrong foot already.
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ultimatesword
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(Original post by az08)
You already broke her trust as a friend, shes going to find it hard to think of you as anything more to be honest..as you got off on the wrong foot already.
Hmm yeah... Think I should just save myself the embarrassment then?
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az08
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(Original post by ultimatesword)
Hmm yeah... Think I should just save myself the embarrassment then?
That depends if you care about what other people think and getting embarassed etc or you do what you want to do. Personally I'm the latter so I would go for it.

Use it to your advantage, when you see her say something like "Hey listen I know I messed up, but let me make it up to you by taking you out for dinner" etc and go from there..
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disenthrall
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alrighty I'm going to throw in a girls perspective here.
If she is willing to spend time talking to you about her personal life, I'm going to guess she has some feelings for you. Typically, I don't delve out personal information to people i don't want to get close to.
With that being said, I don't think you should ask her out right now. It sounds like she has a lot on her plate, and she doesn't have the time or attention for a relationship. And i wouldn't worry about the "broken trust" comment, us girls have the tendency to be a tad melodramatic at times, and I'm sure once you explain yourself/apologize, that should smooth things over.

So basically, work on repairing your friendship with her for now and perhaps in a month or two when things simmer down, you can give it a shot.
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ultimatesword
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(Original post by az08)
That depends if you care about what other people think and getting embarassed etc or you do what you want to do. Personally I'm the latter so I would go for it.

Use it to your advantage, when you see her say something like "Hey listen I know I messed up, but let me make it up to you by taking you out for dinner" etc and go from there..
Hmm yeah. I'm gonna apologise, see how she takes it and take it from there.
If she accepts my apology then I'll try and become her friend and then eventually ask her.
If not then I doubt it'll happen.
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ultimatesword
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(Original post by disenthrall)
alrighty I'm going to throw in a girls perspective here.
If she is willing to spend time talking to you about her personal life, I'm going to guess she has some feelings for you. Typically, I don't delve out personal information to people i don't want to get close to.
With that being said, I don't think you should ask her out right now. It sounds like she has a lot on her plate, and she doesn't have the time or attention for a relationship. And i wouldn't worry about the "broken trust" comment, us girls have the tendency to be a tad melodramatic at times, and I'm sure once you explain yourself/apologize, that should smooth things over.

So basically, work on repairing your friendship with her for now and perhaps in a month or two when things simmer down, you can give it a shot.
Thanks for the advice!!! And yeah I agree. She has stuff on her plate right now, I don't wanna make matters worse. Gonna try and mend the relationship between me and her before going any forward.
And I hope so aha. She seems like the sorta person who would say something but wouldn't really mean it but saying that I've never seen her that annoyed...
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ceej1979
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Dude, I am an expert in rushing into things like this and ruining things. So listen to me.

Women flirt, and send signals, for many reasons, that I can't be bothered to go into.

Not all women flirt, and send signals, because they actually want to go out with the guy.

In fact a women can find a guy very attractive, and funny, and still not want to go out with them!

Don't try and understand the mind of a women. It will get you nowhere.

All I'll say is, if you confront a women about flirting, and signals she's giving, and force her to make a decision, there's a 70% chance you'll never hear from her again.

Women like flirting. They like sending signals to attractive guys. But when you force them into making some sort of decision, there's a good chance she'll say no.

You just have to leave her to it. Let her be in control. Only make a move when she's practically begging you to
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ultimatesword
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(Original post by ceej1979)
Dude, I am an expert in rushing into things like this and ruining things. So listen to me.

Women flirt, and send signals, for many reasons, that I can't be bothered to go into.

Not all women flirt, and send signals, because they actually want to go out with the guy.

In fact a women can find a guy very attractive, and funny, and still not want to go out with them!

Don't try and understand the mind of a women. It will get you nowhere.

All I'll say is, if you confront a women about flirting, and signals she's giving, and force her to make a decision, there's a 70% chance you'll never hear from her again.

Women like flirting. They like sending signals to attractive guys. But when you force them into making some sort of decision, there's a good chance she'll say no.

You just have to leave her to it. Let her be in control. Only make a move when she's practically begging you to
She's not flirting with me mate - she's just talking to me, as am I, respecting each other. And yeah I'm all for giving her time but she might still think I'm genuinely not sorry for breaking our trust and that might mean I never have a chance with her. I didn't see her today so couldn't apologise face to face but I certainly intend to - and based on her reaction to my apology will I then either ask her out or give her time etc.
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HotCoco.
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Start trying to to talk to her in school and build a rapport from there first.


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ultimatesword
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(Original post by HotCoco.)
Start trying to to talk to her in school and build a rapport from there first.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Yeah that's probably the best thing. I messaged her asking if we could meet cus I wanna talk to her about something in person not mentioning the fact that I wanna apologise. She hasn't seen the message yet - let's see what she says when she has. Thanks for the advice
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disenthrall
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no problem! It's refreshing to see a guy who genuinely cares about a girl. If you need advice or someone to talk to, feel free to message me.
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ultimatesword
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(Original post by disenthrall)
no problem! It's refreshing to see a guy who genuinely cares about a girl. If you need advice or someone to talk to, feel free to message me.
Ah really great hearing that mate honestly. Will message you
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