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An ugly fattie is coming onto me at Uni

This is not a joke thread I am being serious. I have a problem where this chubby, ugly girl keeps texting me (she stole my phone and got the number) coming to my apartment (she's in the next building) and choosing to sit next to me in lectures.

I've already told her I've got a girlfriend but that doesn't seem to help, she says she has a boyfriend (at home) but "he's in a different postcode".

My flatmates are teasing me over this (and fair enough) but to be honest I'm just too nice a guy to go up to her and say "Oi, Fattie **** off and leave me alone". I'm friendly towards her as I am of most people but this is giving off perhaps the wrong signal.

Ideas?

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Hahahah.

Become fat yourself, then maybe she'll seem more appealing.

Reply 3

Imperfect

Go on a date with her to Gregs.

Reply 4

The_Bear

I feel so bad for you.

Reply 5

username30638

I think you'll find the correct term is 'aesthetically challenged person of substance'.

Reply 6

username47781

Just tell her politely your not interested.

Reply 7

Claire_Elizabeth

Say this...
"I'll give you some money for a McDonalds if you leave me alone"

Reply 8

NoahIsTheBest

Poke her with a stick.

Watch it be absorbed.

Reply 9

username30638

Ask her to do the truffle shuffle.

It won't solve your problem, but it will guarantee laughs.

Reply 10

foxo

jeffers

I think you'll find the correct term is 'aesthetically challenged person of substance'.

Or "socially inferior tax-leeching fast food junkie."

Hey, I'm allowed to say that, I'm fat too. :wink:

Reply 11

username30638

foxo

Or "socially inferior tax-leeching fast food junkie."

Hey, I'm allowed to say that, I'm fat too. :wink:

Don't forget the 'horizontally challenged' part. :p:

Reply 12

mtbab

fall in love with her suddenly, maybe your sudden interest will put her off, go as far as u can with her without actually having to kiss or anythin lol.

or tell her yuor gay but that could come back to bite you fi you meet a girl you like lol.

Reply 13

Claire_Elizabeth

NoahIsTheBest

Poke her with a stick.

Watch it be absorbed.

hahaha!

Ask her is shes heard of slim fast?

Reply 14

Frogsofhope

I have never seen so much fat bashing in my entire life, i hope all of you who posted negative comments end up putting on a load of weight and every person you try make friends with/chat up posts a horrible thread about you!

just keep talking about your gf around you she will eventually get the idea, if you don't want to be freinds with her either, its harsh but you have to be honest and say hey im sorry but i dont think we have anything in commen so do you mind if i sit next to someone else today and/or my friend is going to sit there so can you please find another seat.

Reply 15

foxo

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

I guess I shouldn't have expected to have this thread taken seriously :P

But I'm being truthful here, I can't seem to get the message across nicely that I'm NOT INTERESTED in her. I mean seriously, I'd turn gay before I'd shag her (and she keeps dropping little sexual hints towards that's what she wants... *EWWEEEEWWW*)

She's actually so fat that if I was ontop I couldn't get it in (I'd just be floating on her stomach) and if she was ontop I'd get crushed. Plus getting an errection from this beast naked would be pretty difficult.

Reply 17

dh00001

try getting trapped in a lift with a hypnotist :p:

Reply 18

Anonymous #2

y dnt u find a fat lad n set them up

Reply 19

Claire_Elizabeth

Just basically say to her, "sorry ive got a gf, please stop making sexual suggestions towards me as it in noway turns me on"!
Or just say to her leave me alone! lol You're going to have to tell her somehow or else she will try it on with you one night when she is drunk and because she will be over excited she will end up falling on you and crushing you! (maybe a bit ott but it could happen)! lol