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    i knowv they brain wash.
    someone actually this the way they show thier love, by hitting them.
    what! Why is my brain different than thier brain?
    why hell would stay with guy who hits me over and over.
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    It's not that easy. There's lots of mind games, blackmail, fear of how you would live if you left. Once you've been beaten down for that long you feel it's easier to stay down than fight to get back up. They make you feel you're not worth it so why would you bother going through all that hassle to be happy if your happiness doesn't matter.
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    Many abusers are clever, or clever enough to get away with it, at least for a while. At first they'll be charming. They don't have "I'm an abuser" written on their foreheads. Then they'll create a dependency in the person they're with, and often begin to isolate them from family and friends, so that they have nowhere to turn to (or feel that they don't).

    Then the breakdown begins. Slowly but surely their confidence will be chipped away at, and they'll begin to feel stupid, and ugly, and worthless, and like everything that goes wrong is their fault. If only they could be better, do things better, be more pleasing, then their partner wouldn't have to get mad at them.

    At the same time, the abuser may have revealed a troubled past, and after particularly bad outbursts they may cry, and say they're sorry, and that it will never happen again (though that's often intermingled with some blame being shifted onto the victim, one or more of the "if onlys"). The victim wants to believe that things will get better, and wants to be loved, and has the feeling that they deserved what happened to them.

    It's deeply twisted. Some women and men (men can be trapped in abusive relationships as well) will be able to break free after a while, but for others it can take years, or never happen. It's all down to the circumstances they find themselves in, and how badly they've been affected by the abuse.
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    http://www.ted.com/talks/leslie_morg...ms_don_t_leave
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    (Original post by TheTipsyTarsier)
    It's not that easy. There's lots of mind games, blackmail, fear of how you would live if you left. Once you've been beaten down for that long you feel it's easier to stay down than fight to get back up. They make you feel you're not worth it so why would you bother going through all that hassle to be happy if your happiness doesn't matter.
    they can just leave the bad guys and go and date the nice guys
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    (Original post by HucktheForde)
    they can just leave the bad guys and go and date the nice guys
    They can't. The fear of retribution then becomes too much. I mean, they have been physically and mentally, possibly sexually, abused by an abusive partner.
 
 
 
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