How do you know what is the correct response in social situations? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
Hi All

Due to battling mental illness since a young age I have unfortunately not gone through the College and University route. Due to this my social skills in speaking to one person and dealing with person is very good however when dealing with group situations I am not very good.

My question is this, maybe it is my understanding of social skills which is fatally flawed. How do you give of the interpretation of being socially confident and not socially awkward?

For example, I was today talking to a individual I met in a Gym, he was telling me about what he done on the weekend which was going out with girls. I prefer not to talk about this because mainly because I've never had a girlfriend due to illness . I tried to talk about the girls a little bit and then changed the conversation to something else. I was trying to talk but as he proceeded to lift weights and change dumbells he said "Hi" to two other individuals whilst I was trying to speak to him and tried to make a little bit of conversation with them whilst I was waiting. Subsequently I then shook his hand and left.

Now I would interpret this as "This individual does not want to speak to me" however I may be overthinking this as he was most likely just saying "Hi" to them. I am also thinking he possibly tried to make me jealous in establishing himself as the popular one?

Was I in the wrong? Should I have done something different?

Thanks
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Drunk Punx
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#2
Report 4 years ago
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You weren't in the wrong, and I don't see what you could've done differently other than just winged it with the conversation about girls, which could've gone disastrously if you said the wrong things.

Sometimes it's easy to get distracted by other people that you know when talking to people that you don't know as well. It's polite to maintain conversation with the person you're currently talking to, and it's polite to say hi to people that you know, but you can't do both, so which do you go with?
My thoughts would be saying hi to the people that you know, and then getting back to the conversation you were having prior to the distraction asap, but sometimes that's not always possible for a variety of reasons.

Don't fret, you did nothing wrong during the exchange
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DErasmus
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#3
Report 4 years ago
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conversations should be a pleasure not a drain,
you need to set yourself up as the 'judge' as I call it, this is the one in the group who the others look up to, they seek validation and measure themselves based on this person, this person has the most influence and weight, they can only do this if you accept their authority, you need to assert yours instead with confidence and getting close to people in the group, that means personal.

normal convos between two people are not so tiring and there's no need for all this hierarchy / influence bs.

take charge in a group if you're confident (usually all you have to do is speak first) you have the answers, you'd be surprised how many people just want to follow.
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