Constantly feeling alone and tired. Anyone else? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
First off, no I'm not suicidal, neither do I self-harm.

I'm 17 years old.

I've been feeling constantly tired and drained, even if I sleep loads (which never really happens because I find it hard getting to sleep at night, and I always wake up early naturally).

I always feel so lonely - I do have friends at school, but I feel like I'm not particularly close to any of them and that they don't really care about me (like only two of my friends remembered my birthday...). I'm not bullied or anything but I just feel so sad because I feel like I have no-one to trust or properly talk to.

I don't know what to do - I've been feeling like this for the past 6 months (and for about a year when I was around 15). I'm contemplating about whether to go see my GP, but I feel like they won't take me seriously (plus booking appointments are hard). And I don't really know how I would go there without my parents knowing as they would freak out if I was diagnosed with mental issues because they are worried that other people would look down on them for having a depressed daughter.

Short version of above: I'm lonely, tired and find life a bit pointless. I've been feeling this way for 6 months. I'm thinking of going to see my GP, but don't know how to without my parents knowing.

What should I do? Any help would be appreciated xx
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Wimbs
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Different parents will react differently, I don't know yours.

Firstly, your GP will NOT just dismiss you. As you are still technically a kid I don't know what they may prescribe but I am 34 and have been on and off antidepressants for over a decade! Don't feel that will happen to you, you may be given antidepressants and feel better and be taken off them. They take several weeks to kick in and will help you sleep better (you don't say how early you wake up but waking up REALLY early say 2-4am without falling back to sleep is a classic symptom of depression.) Your mood and outlook will just improve. They don't make you feel 'high' but everything just feels better and more manageable on antidepressants. You just have to be careful when you first start them that the sudden 'energy' they give you doesn't make you suicidal. And you have to be careful drinking when on them - it is recommended no more than 3 pints per week although I have regularly gone on a normal night out with drink and had drinks on them and been fine, but remember alcohol is a depressant so drinking technically undoes the good they do. Although if you like a drink you just 'can't be bothered' to drink as much on them I find.

I would tell your parents how you feel though. They may initially be shocked but if you have decent sympathetic parents, they will not want their daughter to be miserable. Don't panic about the 'looking down on your parents' thing - although the fact you have said this proves you are a nice person who cares about the impact of what your choices might have on others. Firstly, your medical information is yours (and your parents if you choose to tell them) to know and not other people! Plus, frankly, these days, many people are popping pills of some description, taking antidepressants is not that unusual (nor should it be looked upon with shame, you would take a painkiller if you were in pain so why not an antidepressant if depressed?)
There are many, many factors in society conspiring to make people feel down (read Sue Palmer 'Toxic Childhood' to realise why your generation have it so bad!) and a bout or two of depression is not a sign of 'serious mental illness.'

If you are going to uni - if you want it and engage with it you will have no shortage of company in halls (in fact, you will probably feel you don;t have enough of your own space!)

Good luck, no-one deserves to be young and miserable!
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shawn_o1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
First off, no I'm not suicidal, neither do I self-harm.

I'm 17 years old.

I've been feeling constantly tired and drained, even if I sleep loads (which never really happens because I find it hard getting to sleep at night, and I always wake up early naturally).

I always feel so lonely - I do have friends at school, but I feel like I'm not particularly close to any of them and that they don't really care about me (like only two of my friends remembered my birthday...). I'm not bullied or anything but I just feel so sad because I feel like I have no-one to trust or properly talk to.

I don't know what to do - I've been feeling like this for the past 6 months (and for about a year when I was around 15). I'm contemplating about whether to go see my GP, but I feel like they won't take me seriously (plus booking appointments are hard). And I don't really know how I would go there without my parents knowing as they would freak out if I was diagnosed with mental issues because they are worried that other people would look down on them for having a depressed daughter.

Short version of above: I'm lonely, tired and find life a bit pointless. I've been feeling this way for 6 months. I'm thinking of going to see my GP, but don't know how to without my parents knowing.

What should I do? Any help would be appreciated xx
You're mind-reading your parents. How can you be absolutely sure they think thus?
You should tell your parents about this. Also tell them that you don't blame them for your struggles. You're just in a hard place and need some support. There's no better place to receive it than from the two humans who've known you ever since you were born and watched you grow up. It couldn't have happened without them.
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soanonymous
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As you're under 18, you won't be given anti-depressants, but you'll be recommended to see someone to speak about your issues, once you hit 18, you can ask for antidepressants if that's what you want.


They worked for me, I had really amazing dreams every night whilst I was on them, I stopped taking them because I felt like I didn't need them anymore, and also I couldn't drink whilst I was on them and I was just about to start uni so... but now I'm fine and I feel much better than I did the last 2/3 years.
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Wimbs
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Yes, you may need to go to the GP with your parents to be given antidepressants as you are under 18.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Wimbs)
Different parents will react differently, I don't know yours.

Firstly, your GP will NOT just dismiss you. As you are still technically a kid I don't know what they may prescribe but I am 34 and have been on and off antidepressants for over a decade! Don't feel that will happen to you, you may be given antidepressants and feel better and be taken off them. They take several weeks to kick in and will help you sleep better (you don't say how early you wake up but waking up REALLY early say 2-4am without falling back to sleep is a classic symptom of depression.) Your mood and outlook will just improve. They don't make you feel 'high' but everything just feels better and more manageable on antidepressants. You just have to be careful when you first start them that the sudden 'energy' they give you doesn't make you suicidal. And you have to be careful drinking when on them - it is recommended no more than 3 pints per week although I have regularly gone on a normal night out with drink and had drinks on them and been fine, but remember alcohol is a depressant so drinking technically undoes the good they do. Although if you like a drink you just 'can't be bothered' to drink as much on them I find.

I would tell your parents how you feel though. They may initially be shocked but if you have decent sympathetic parents, they will not want their daughter to be miserable. Don't panic about the 'looking down on your parents' thing - although the fact you have said this proves you are a nice person who cares about the impact of what your choices might have on others. Firstly, your medical information is yours (and your parents if you choose to tell them) to know and not other people! Plus, frankly, these days, many people are popping pills of some description, taking antidepressants is not that unusual (nor should it be looked upon with shame, you would take a painkiller if you were in pain so why not an antidepressant if depressed?)
There are many, many factors in society conspiring to make people feel down (read Sue Palmer 'Toxic Childhood' to realise why your generation have it so bad!) and a bout or two of depression is not a sign of 'serious mental illness.'

If you are going to uni - if you want it and engage with it you will have no shortage of company in halls (in fact, you will probably feel you don;t have enough of your own space!)

Good luck, no-one deserves to be young and miserable!
Thank you so much for your response!

My parents basically thought I was suicidal/self-harming (mum accidentally read my diary) when I was about 15 and my mum couldn't stop crying and they were both really confused and angry. They basically told me that they didn't want a depressed daughter (in an indirect way). I found it really awkward and hard to talk to them for about 4 months afterwards.

And by early - I mean around 6am. Even on weekends, or at nights where I sleep past midnight. I just can't seem to sleep.

I don't want to be on anti-depressants though - I'm worried that it might have side effects and that it might show up on my medical record for school/uni/future job applications etc. And yeah, I've read online about people going to their GP's and the GP's not believing them.

Thanks again for your reply. I'm glad that someone actually cares enough to reply to my post
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(Original post by Anonymous)
First off, no I'm not suicidal, neither do I self-harm.

I'm 17 years old.

I've been feeling constantly tired and drained, even if I sleep loads (which never really happens because I find it hard getting to sleep at night, and I always wake up early naturally).

I always feel so lonely - I do have friends at school, but I feel like I'm not particularly close to any of them and that they don't really care about me (like only two of my friends remembered my birthday...). I'm not bullied or anything but I just feel so sad because I feel like I have no-one to trust or properly talk to.

I don't know what to do - I've been feeling like this for the past 6 months (and for about a year when I was around 15). I'm contemplating about whether to go see my GP, but I feel like they won't take me seriously (plus booking appointments are hard). And I don't really know how I would go there without my parents knowing as they would freak out if I was diagnosed with mental issues because they are worried that other people would look down on them for having a depressed daughter.

Short version of above: I'm lonely, tired and find life a bit pointless. I've been feeling this way for 6 months. I'm thinking of going to see my GP, but don't know how to without my parents knowing.

What should I do? Any help would be appreciated xx
I feel the same too, and I'm just as worried to go to the doctors, and I'm 18.
Take heed of the wonderful advice here, because I think I am going to myself.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by shawn_o1)
You're mind-reading your parents. How can you be absolutely sure they think thus?
You should tell your parents about this. Also tell them that you don't blame them for your struggles. You're just in a hard place and need some support. There's no better place to receive it than from the two humans who've known you ever since you were born and watched you grow up. It couldn't have happened without them.
They kind of found out that I was suicidal (I'm not anymore) 2 years ago and they were really angry at me and made me promise that I wouldn't be like that again. I feel like I can't really tell them about how I'm feeling because I'm scared that they're going to get mad at me.

Thanks for your reply though - it really helped.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by soanonymous)
As you're under 18, you won't be given anti-depressants, but you'll be recommended to see someone to speak about your issues, once you hit 18, you can ask for antidepressants if that's what you want.


They worked for me, I had really amazing dreams every night whilst I was on them, I stopped taking them because I felt like I didn't need them anymore, and also I couldn't drink whilst I was on them and I was just about to start uni so... but now I'm fine and I feel much better than I did the last 2/3 years.
How did your doctor prescribe them to you? Did you go with your parents? And how did you tell you parents about it? Also, did you get counselling too - if so what is it like and do you have to pay for the sessions?

Thank you so much.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by CescaD96)
I feel the same too, and I'm just as worried to go to the doctors, and I'm 18.
Take heed of the wonderful advice here, because I think I am going to myself.
Glad to know that I'm not by myself

Are you at school/home or uni? Do your parents know? And are you planning on going to see the doctors then?

Best of luck to you!
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Glad to know that I'm not by myself

Are you at school/home or uni? Do your parents know? And are you planning on going to see the doctors then?

Best of luck to you!
I'm in sixth form, last year, planning to go to uni next year
I think my Daddy has an idea, but cause of the awkward relationship we have we don't discuss it. I used to go to counselling, but it did nothing for me.
I think I will. You can only struggle so much on your own, I've realised.
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Wimbs
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you so much for your response!

My parents basically thought I was suicidal/self-harming (mum accidentally read my diary) when I was about 15 and my mum couldn't stop crying and they were both really confused and angry. They basically told me that they didn't want a depressed daughter (in an indirect way). I found it really awkward and hard to talk to them for about 4 months afterwards.

And by early - I mean around 6am. Even on weekends, or at nights where I sleep past midnight. I just can't seem to sleep.

I don't want to be on anti-depressants though - I'm worried that it might have side effects and that it might show up on my medical record for school/uni/future job applications etc. And yeah, I've read online about people going to their GP's and the GP's not believing them.

Thanks again for your reply. I'm glad that someone actually cares enough to reply to my post
Its a shame your parents acted this way. Unfortunately, its not uncommon, some parents seem to view things like this as a 'failing' on their part (which it usually isn't) and denial seems to be the coping strategy for them.

Six am isn't bad actually - 2-4am is a sign of severe depression, you could simply be a lark or not actually need that much sleep (society conditions us to think we all need 8 hours per night, in reality it varies considerably.) Just think of the extra stuff you could get done if you actually only 'need' 6 hours or less per night!

OK so you don't want to go on antidepressants. I get and respect that. And you don't sound like you have 'severe' depression. Lets tackle this from another angle. You say you constantly feel tired. If you naturally get up at 6am, perhaps you naturally fall asleep early! Its cliched but try the usual stuff to get off to sleep, hot baths, lavender scents, hot chocolate etc. If this doesn't help, look at your diet. I know there is pressure on young women to look like supermodels and I am in no way implying you are anorexic or anything......but you are still growing! Do you eat a balanced diet? Do you eat breakfast before college? If none of this helps then perhaps go to the GP but say you feel tired. They may suggest blood tests to rule out say diabetes. You could even tell your parents you just feel 'tired' and see what they say. They will probably suggest everything I have done but ultimately you may want to go to your GP. If the tiredness has come on recently, frankly many of us feel tired and not ourselves at this time of year simply because its so bleeding dark in the UK in Winter!
Do you exercise? Exercise has been shown to be as effective as some antidepressants in relieving depression.
Another compromise if you don't want to take antidepressants is to take St Johns Wort. It is herbal and helps depression. You can get it from Holland and Barratts or Boots! You just have to be careful sunbathing (not that that's a problem until next Summer) as it makes your skin more sensitive to sunlight.
Hope something here helps!
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soanonymous
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(Original post by Anonymous)
How did your doctor prescribe them to you? Did you go with your parents? And how did you tell you parents about it? Also, did you get counselling too - if so what is it like and do you have to pay for the sessions?

Thank you so much.
I was 18 and he strongly recommended counselling, but I didn't want it, I just wanted a 'quick fix' which I mean, doesn't fix the problem, but it'll make you feel happier.
I went with my mum, who was pretty cool about it, she just wanted me to be happy, she was worried.
I'm so close with my mum, like best friends so it wasn't difficult to tell her, I just told it to her straight, how I wasn't happy, I wasn't enjoying life, I felt alone and sad and scared and worthless. She came with me, for support and didn't ask questions afterwards, to let me speak when I felt like it.


I didn't go for the counselling, like I said, I wanted a quick fix and didn't think that talking to a stranger about problems that can't be fixed, I just thought it'd be pointless. But maybe it's not, I guess talking about things can help and make you feel better, but it won't instantly make you happier. As for paying for counselling, I don't think you do, think it's all on the NHS
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katie780
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(Original post by Wimbs)
Yes, you may need to go to the GP with your parents to be given antidepressants as you are under 18.
This isn't normally the case - even if your parents go with you you're unlikely to be prescribed antidepressants
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heyheyhey55555
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Hey, first off it's not that doctors don't priscibe anti-dependants, it's more of they don't like to as you are young. I've been on citalipram since I was 16 as I was having about 6 panic attacks a day and having a lot of depression.

I would say to go to your doctors, but when you ring up for an appointment ask to see a female doctor, this is because you will find that they are a lot more compassionate when it comes to things like this. Also you might find it easier to talk to them. And at first I thought that they would just laugh and say your having a bad day, but she was really supportive.

It may also be a good idea to ask about some CBT, and yes you get it free on the NHS.

With you saying how you are always tired, I have that and with me it was because I never went out a lot when I was younger so with me it was low vitamin D, but this is me. But saying that ask for a medical and blood test.

The main thing with GP's that I have found is that if you don't ask or tell them something, then you don't get any help with the matter.

Hope this helps, and it will get better but you just have to work on it.
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