I fell for my female best friend and everything went wrong Watch

bogusoldqueen
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#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
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Hi, I don't really post on here so I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing. Just looking for a bit of advice. I'm feeling a bit lost right now.

My best friend of 6 years has recently cut me out of her life. We're both women and I've always known she was a lesbian. We were super close and somewhere down the line I developed feelings for her.

But last year she began seeing someone. It hurt me a lot and I didn't know how to act. Her relationship was very 'off & on' and she kept coming to me whenever they fell out. I couldn't deal with it, so I explained I had feelings. She took it well and told me she didn't want to hurt me, so we tried to continue as friends.

But it only got harder. They were arguing one minute, then being soppy on Facebook the next. I got jealous and our friendship became tense. I told her I needed space for a while which angered her and we stopped speaking.

A couple of months later I got back in touch and we both apologized and began speaking again. Things were going well. Then one day she and her girlfriend had a major argument. It seemed like she was done with her and she immediately asked me to meet up. But when the day came she cancelled on me because they had reconciled. I felt annoyed but I tried not to let it show. I texted some 'jokey' things but it came across as very sarcastic and she could tell it was mocking her relationship. She immediately cut me off and hung up when I tried to call and apologize.

I made a few attempts to make amends over email, and even invited her and her girlfriend to my birthday but she's completely cut me out.

I feel a mixture of heartbreak, anger, sadness, and guilt. Does anyone have any advice on how to cope and move on?
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Arkasia
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Report 4 years ago
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She's using you, and you seem to be stuck as a secondary amusement whenever she gets pissy with her girlfriend.

It may sound hard, but completely ignore her, now and in the future. Luckily she cut you off, so your part isn't as bad. It may hurt now and for a short while, but in the future you will feel much better for it.
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bogusoldqueen
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I understand that. I do feel used. But I find it hard to believe she doesn't care for me, when we've been friends for so long. I can also see it from her point of view. She got into a relationship and one of her best friends wasn't happy for her because she was jealous. I also know that people can get a bit 'obsessive' when they're in a relationship and I feel like she isn't herself.
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