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RANT: Regarding Sexual Deviancy & Starting A Family. watch

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    I feel pretty lost and in despair at the way things are. To be honest... I feel kinda, sexually traumatized by all the deviancy around me.

    Warning: There is sexual stuff written here so don't read it if you think your gonna upset yourselves. or if mods think its too much then feel free to close it. Not sure where u guys draw the line on communicating trouble in ur sex life and things being too explicit. but if you'd let me know rather than raining down vengeance upon me that would be appreciated.

    As u can see there's a lot written here so if it suits you just skip straight to the conclusion at the bottom. all the other stuff is just background on the what's led me to the concluded thoughts.

    Social Circle
    I have a varied social group. I come from quite a rough area with a mainly black community, My school was mainly Pakistani and I myself come from white working class chav/hooligan type family. I have gone to uni and made good friends with upper/middle class types. My current social group is a mix of the reminiscence of my past and current job/educational environment. not only this but the job i work in puts in contact with a lot of the hipster side of life. So i think most people would agree I have quite a varied social circle.

    My Interaction with them.
    Despite however it is I may come across online. In person I tend to have an effect on people where they seem to be really comfortable with me really soon and often tell me "it feels like I've known you for years" and then they tell me loads of stuff about them. I'm also very big on keeping confidentiality and trying my best to empathize.

    The Trend

    It seems that sexual deviancy is through the roof. Like I'm not too sure why its all just hitting me now. But its hit me. people keep telling me stories or even publicly discussing things with each other in regards to sex and relationships. things like how they've cheated or are cheating. things like what they enjoy and what they consider different degrees of sexual boundaries. Keep in mind I've said sexual boundaries rather than degrees of sexual intimacy.

    Examples
    one girl I know fantasies about her ex-boyfriend whos coming out of prison. she told me a story where she was getting ready for work and her boyfriend (and father of her child) hugs her from behind. she tells me she closed her eyes and imagined it was her ex.
    later this same girl tried to hook up with a random guy at a club. BUT HE, drew the line after finding out she had a kid with him and would not have sex with her. She in turn was angry at not being able to cheat.

    another girl I know got married at 18 and a year later got pregnant. next year she got pregnant from another guy. and then it came out the first kid was from another guy as well. a 3rd and separate guy.

    a friend of mine has told me shes sleeping with a guy who has a girlfriend. she told me how he ate out her ass, which was new to her and she liked it. so this guy is eating out some girls arse and then going back and kissing his girlfriend.

    my best mates girlfriend cheated on him and then said she was raped. she later admitted she cheated when he took her down to the police station to get evidence collected.

    another friend of mine's girlfriend of 8 years cheated on him with some turkish waiter whilst on holiday. and when i say cheat i mean she slept with him over there and took his details and continued to communicate with him when they got back. she was sending him videos and photos of a sexual kind which I'm sure u can imagine. then she started selling their stuff on ebay so she could buy a ticket to go back and see him. anyway she forgot to log out of facebook and my friend saw all the facebook messages. before unlocking her phone while she was asleep and seeing all the evidence there.

    I know another girl who was constantly cheating on the father of her child because "he made it easy for her"

    my mate met some girl off the internet IN ANOTHER COUNTRY and she flew to the uk just to shag him.

    a friend of mine who is pakistani has found out her partner was cheating on her with girls in his taxi.

    also socially there seems to be this trend amongst people that in terms of sexual boundaries oral sex is more casual and less of a big deal than sex.

    this... a long with anal sex and "Rimming" being all the rage.

    at first i thought it was just comedians like kevin hart and joe rogan talking about it because its shocking and outrageous. but it seems like everyone is doing it.

    i seem to have found myself in several group discussions where sex comes up in the discussion and im called a prude due to my disgust in anal related activity.

    oh yea a girl i know. good christian girl. shagging everyone up and down the country in different church bands.

    another girl i know good muslim girl takes trips down to london to have sex with guys shes met online.

    male mate of mine cheated on his girlfriend with some random girl at a party.

    oh and my friend has just got married to a girl he's been cheating on for 3 years with numerous girls while at uni. despite the fact that she (the girl he's marrying) lived DOWN STAIRS.

    oh and another one. a mate of mine. his girlfriend who is also the mother of his child. cheats on him and has a baby with his worst enemy. nice.

    My relationship history.
    for the record i've dating girls in my social circle early on but as i have been convinced that maybe i'm doing something wrong have gone out of my way to date girls distant from my social circle. like at work or via hook ups from friends and once from the internet too. just to make sure that it wasnt me just picking weird ones or vice versa.

    1st girlfriend: Cheated on me with a guy on the internet.
    2nd girlfriend: was black and had never been with a white guy. after our break up she then seemed to think shagging guys simply with the criteria of being white was the thing to do. she then came back to me crying saying how used by all of them she felt. I didnt know what to tell her. but it made me sick.
    3rd girlfriend: probably cheated on me but i don't know. reason being during tough times she went to "watch films" with her friend+friends boyfriend and a guy who she new fancied her. my only doubt is that this guy tried to kiss her after she broke up and she rejected him. this happened at a party which i wasnt present at and my mate who was there told me about the incident.
    4th girl had a boyfriend and said she was gonna break up with him. she didnt... they are still together.
    5th girl told me she had broken up with her boyfriend but didnt until 3 months into the relationship. i found out because after they broke up he stalked her a bit and phoned me.
    6th girl: broke up with me cause she pretty much demanded i give her head and refused due to the weird attempts at trying to bully me into it.
    7th girl. we're dating for like half a year but then she slips up and lets me know she cheated on her 2 previous boyfriends (shes only had 3 boyfriends including me). I'm just about ok with this. until she tells me she was still with her boyfriend when we first got together for like a week. but i really like her so i stick with it. then she tells me that with her 2nd boyfriend she not only cheated on him with me. but also (after an argument) sucked off her colleague at work. now i say sucked off. she didnt just suck him off to spite her boyfriend. oh no. she was kissing this guy and he asked her to suck him off. like you do. so like... it wasn't even part of her plan. she just. obliged... and after busting in her face he didnt speak to her after. which i think illustrates to the tone of the interaction they had during that particular incident.
    anyway she tells me this. i break up with her.
    8th girl i was with was dating a guy (didnt sleep with him just getting to kno him) for a while but then was complaining to me about everything i was complaining to her about my dating experiences too. so we thought since we have the same complaints we should date. but anyway then she just starts complaining to the same guy about me instead. I end it.
    7th girl i am supposed to meet for dinner as we have remained friends. she wants to give things another try. although she has canceled dinner for a drink instead as she's meeting someone else for a drink later. she tells me its a female friend from work but when i press to join them for a drink she declines. so i assume its a guy shes shagging. also the place we've met at was her choice and unknown to me and seeing as she never brought me there when we were dating i guess a guy took her there on a date. which i later find out was true. so yea she was wanting to get back with me. whilst dating. and probably shagging. at least one other guy. awesome.

    brief dates
    one girl i was with for 2 weeks we have sex she tells me she and her ex boyfriend used to eat out each others asses. i end it then and there.

    another girl i date turns out is a stripper who has some sort of man she lives off of and has sex with who she says is a "friend'. i find her entertaining at least and go for a second date with her for the lulz. she then tells me all the depraved things shes into. such as she enjoys being urinated on and both urinating on others. as well as lesbian sex and having anal sex with men. but in a weird way. she wears a strap on and bums him. i find this so bizarre and shocking i start to laugh and then almost fall off my chair when she tells me she wants to do these things with me as well. needless to say i don't call her back.

    another girl i know just lives off men like a whore. she just sucks their dicks for any old thing. like a lift to the shops or something. but all these guys think they're her boyfriend.

    another girl who i liked broke up with her boyfriend. and then wanted to have sex with me pretty much immediately. by this stage needless to say i've given up on romance and agree to what is probably going to be sex so cold that it could be said that it was two people masturbating themselves with each others bodies. however stil it seems i am affected by things. this girl wants me. while having sex. to slap her. choke her and call her names like whore and filthy *****. I decline. but she is determined to do something demeaning to herself with my body. i won't describe what tea bagging is as im sure u already know but shes determined to do this.

    now i walk away from this "encounter" bothered. as it dawns on me a pattern has emerged.
    i realized the determination of having degrading sex was because she was probably mad at her ex boyfriend. i then realized that all the girls and guys when they cheat on their partners. they do things with the person that they have never done and would never do with their current official partner. they seem to get a kick out of doing extra depraved things with a stranger.


    Conclusion
    I was already a super pessimistic guy... uno, due to the previous history as mentioned above. like i didnt just naively stumble from one to another. each one i grew less hopeful and more aware that the world and everything init is pretty much forsaken and if its sacred, will be desecrated.

    however i think there was a little candle of hope flickering inside me. that maybe i might meet someone who will be nice. who i can have kids with and know that they won't do things that will mess up the kids. i mean nothing screws up ur self esteem and view on women like ur mother being a ****. no one wants to be at a tesco checkout and find the cashier smirking at ur mom cuz he used to sit on her face 10 years ago.

    but yea finding someone nice. i think now im starting to really believe that i won't. cuz its a very anxious tense falling feeling.

    like this seems to be literally it. everyone from my generation seems to be a sexual deviant or sympathetic to it. or some sort of closeted one where they say they aren't but then prove to be in future. I haven't even mentioned everything in terms of my experiences. i mean i thought maybe i was just unlucky experiencing all of this. but it seems to be i'm not the only one.

    only differences is i see something wrong with these experiences. due to them being morally or hygienically dirty.

    like what ever happened to romance? and people having sex that is special, not because of the weird stuff they've done. but is special because they are special to each other?

    like i feel like im so mild compared to everyone else. i mean i'm no angel. but my god...

    I think this post is with the purpose of reaching out to the faceless consciousness of the internet. hoping that maybe some obscure wisdom will answer it and make things better.

    i guess i'm also curious if i'm the only one that feels like this?

    or is everybody else just happy running around in this tornado of bukakke's and spit roasting.

    like are there any guys out there who feel disappointing that they themselves want to just have nice intimate sex with their girlfriend. but finding that their girlfriend wants them to act out some sort of rape fetish of hers and slapping her n all that messed up stuff.

    and is there any guys out there confused.

    confused at the fact that they are told that men watching violent porn against women is something that makes them sick misogynists.

    but then when they meet a girl who likes that stuff they are told that they are a misogynist for thinking she is sick for enjoying that treatment.?


    Also does anyone else think there's problems with a family unit where the parents have histories of sexual deviancy that may reach their way to their kids via word of mouth or even due to all the home made porn on the internet. or single mothers having rampant sexual lifestyles. you know like kids who have to turn up the TV so they can't here their mom banging her latest encounter.

    Anyway... I think u get the picture...
    Rant Over
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    There's a certain similarity between some of the stuff you do - have sex with someone "pretty much immediately" - and what you're complaining about - people having sex "pretty much immediately". You're also going into great detail about what you've done with them and complaining about other people going into great detail about what they've done with others.

    Obviously there are people looking for a monogamous relationship that doesn't involve - gasp - rimming or anything you don't want to do.

    Where are you looking for them?
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    (Original post by unprinted)
    There's a certain similarity between some of the stuff you do - have sex with someone "pretty much immediately" - and what you're complaining about - people having sex "pretty much immediately". You're also going into great detail about what you've done with them and complaining about other people going into great detail about what they've done with others.

    Obviously there are people looking for a monogamous relationship that doesn't involve - gasp - rimming or anything you don't want to do.

    Where are you looking for them?
    as I said I'm no angel. and I wasn't complaining about how quickly people have sex when dating. and I believe I only mentioned the detail of sex with one girl and that was to illustrate what she wanted from the sex.

    At the moment I'm not looking anywhere.

    the last 4 girls I mentioned
    I met one from uni (the last one mentioned)
    before that the stripper i met on a train journey and we exchanged numbers
    one before that i met online thru twitter
    one before that at a friends birthday party. she was my friends cousins friend. so quite far removed from my social life.

    but ye at the moment I'm just not looking. I'm not even masturbating my sexual appetite is non existent at the moment.
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    10/10, this is brilliant. It has both the quotes "is everybody else just happy running around in this tornado of bukakke's and spit roasting." and "anal sex and "Rimming" being all the rage". But there's no way all that happened to one person and their friends, I think he just watched a series of the Jeremy Kyle show and wrote everything down.

    But great effort.
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    10/10, this is brilliant. It has both the quotes "is everybody else just happy running around in this tornado of bukakke's and spit roasting." and "anal sex and "Rimming" being all the rage". But there's no way all that happened to one person and their friends, I think he just watched a series of the Jeremy Kyle show and wrote everything down.

    But great effort.
    really? I thought it was getting kinda repetitive when i was reeling off the experiences.

    I actually think that maybe you hear more of this stuff than you think but you just ignore it.

    I always remember it cause it effects me.

    obviously if you don't believe me theres not really much i can do other than giving you the details of the people involved so that you can confirm they are real. which i won't do for obvious reasons of privacy.

    but i guess if you want to ask any testing questions feel free.

    but maybe you'd be surprised if you sat down and wrote down all the incidences like this that you have encountered in your social life
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    (Original post by Mick.w)
    ---
    Wow. I just want you to know I read every word of this it was brilliant.


    You might have to start broadening your social circles and looking elsewhere. May I ask how old you are ? I am 19 and I've only encountered this sort of behavior once (enough for it to scare me for the rest of my life). I remember making out with this guy (innocent enough). He was touching my buttock area and before I knew it he put his finger into the hole (I screamed and was absolutely horrified) as you can imagine I asked to never see him again and made him leave shortly after.


    As another poster said, maybe you need to stop sleeping with people so early ? If you behave promiscuously are you surprised you are meeting other promiscuous people ? You need to start dating more 'normal' vanilla girls (they exist, I'm friends with them). I have friends in the 19-21 range who have literally only slept with 1-3 guys who are very normal and who don't have any weird stories such as this.


    The people you seem to describe sound like degenerates (the cheating!) who are literally going around and ****ing every tom **** and Harry whether or not they are in a relationship, I can assure you there are a lot of people who aren't this narcissistic and selfish. You need to start broadening your horizons.


    Stop going for girls who will sleep with you immediately. The girls who are living off men sound like cliche whore's/ gold diggers. This is definitely a social circle problem. Then you mention the baby mama's and people with multiple kids to different men :/


    You need to just have a whole new scenery. I'd advise you join meetup.com, start looking at new groups and joining new social circles. Be around smart, humb
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    (Original post by Mick.w)
    I feel pretty lost and in despair at the way things are. To be honest... I feel kinda, sexually traumatized by all the deviancy around me.

    Warning: There is sexual stuff written here so don't read it if you think your gonna upset yourselves. or if mods think its too much then feel free to close it. Not sure where u guys draw the line on communicating trouble in ur sex life and things being too explicit. but if you'd let me know rather than raining down vengeance upon me that would be appreciated.

    As u can see there's a lot written here so if it suits you just skip straight to the conclusion at the bottom. all the other stuff is just background on the what's led me to the concluded thoughts.

    Social Circle
    I have a varied social group. I come from quite a rough area with a mainly black community, My school was mainly Pakistani and I myself come from white working class chav/hooligan type family. I have gone to uni and made good friends with upper/middle class types. My current social group is a mix of the reminiscence of my past and current job/educational environment. not only this but the job i work in puts in contact with a lot of the hipster side of life. So i think most people would agree I have quite a varied social circle.

    My Interaction with them.
    Despite however it is I may come across online. In person I tend to have an effect on people where they seem to be really comfortable with me really soon and often tell me "it feels like I've known you for years" and then they tell me loads of stuff about them. I'm also very big on keeping confidentiality and trying my best to empathize.

    The Trend

    It seems that sexual deviancy is through the roof. Like I'm not too sure why its all just hitting me now. But its hit me. people keep telling me stories or even publicly discussing things with each other in regards to sex and relationships. things like how they've cheated or are cheating. things like what they enjoy and what they consider different degrees of sexual boundaries. Keep in mind I've said sexual boundaries rather than degrees of sexual intimacy.

    Examples
    one girl I know fantasies about her ex-boyfriend whos coming out of prison. she told me a story where she was getting ready for work and her boyfriend (and father of her child) hugs her from behind. she tells me she closed her eyes and imagined it was her ex.
    later this same girl tried to hook up with a random guy at a club. BUT HE, drew the line after finding out she had a kid with him and would not have sex with her. She in turn was angry at not being able to cheat.

    another girl I know got married at 18 and a year later got pregnant. next year she got pregnant from another guy. and then it came out the first kid was from another guy as well. a 3rd and separate guy.

    a friend of mine has told me shes sleeping with a guy who has a girlfriend. she told me how he ate out her ass, which was new to her and she liked it. so this guy is eating out some girls arse and then going back and kissing his girlfriend.

    my best mates girlfriend cheated on him and then said she was raped. she later admitted she cheated when he took her down to the police station to get evidence collected.

    another friend of mine's girlfriend of 8 years cheated on him with some turkish waiter whilst on holiday. and when i say cheat i mean she slept with him over there and took his details and continued to communicate with him when they got back. she was sending him videos and photos of a sexual kind which I'm sure u can imagine. then she started selling their stuff on ebay so she could buy a ticket to go back and see him. anyway she forgot to log out of facebook and my friend saw all the facebook messages. before unlocking her phone while she was asleep and seeing all the evidence there.

    I know another girl who was constantly cheating on the father of her child because "he made it easy for her"

    my mate met some girl off the internet IN ANOTHER COUNTRY and she flew to the uk just to shag him.

    a friend of mine who is pakistani has found out her partner was cheating on her with girls in his taxi.

    also socially there seems to be this trend amongst people that in terms of sexual boundaries oral sex is more casual and less of a big deal than sex.

    this... a long with anal sex and "Rimming" being all the rage.

    at first i thought it was just comedians like kevin hart and joe rogan talking about it because its shocking and outrageous. but it seems like everyone is doing it.

    i seem to have found myself in several group discussions where sex comes up in the discussion and im called a prude due to my disgust in anal related activity.

    oh yea a girl i know. good christian girl. shagging everyone up and down the country in different church bands.

    another girl i know good muslim girl takes trips down to london to have sex with guys shes met online.

    male mate of mine cheated on his girlfriend with some random girl at a party.

    oh and my friend has just got married to a girl he's been cheating on for 3 years with numerous girls while at uni. despite the fact that she (the girl he's marrying) lived DOWN STAIRS.

    oh and another one. a mate of mine. his girlfriend who is also the mother of his child. cheats on him and has a baby with his worst enemy. nice.

    My relationship history.
    for the record i've dating girls in my social circle early on but as i have been convinced that maybe i'm doing something wrong have gone out of my way to date girls distant from my social circle. like at work or via hook ups from friends and once from the internet too. just to make sure that it wasnt me just picking weird ones or vice versa.

    1st girlfriend: Cheated on me with a guy on the internet.
    2nd girlfriend: was black and had never been with a white guy. after our break up she then seemed to think shagging guys simply with the criteria of being white was the thing to do. she then came back to me crying saying how used by all of them she felt. I didnt know what to tell her. but it made me sick.
    3rd girlfriend: probably cheated on me but i don't know. reason being during tough times she went to "watch films" with her friend+friends boyfriend and a guy who she new fancied her. my only doubt is that this guy tried to kiss her after she broke up and she rejected him. this happened at a party which i wasnt present at and my mate who was there told me about the incident.
    4th girl had a boyfriend and said she was gonna break up with him. she didnt... they are still together.
    5th girl told me she had broken up with her boyfriend but didnt until 3 months into the relationship. i found out because after they broke up he stalked her a bit and phoned me.
    6th girl: broke up with me cause she pretty much demanded i give her head and refused due to the weird attempts at trying to bully me into it.
    7th girl. we're dating for like half a year but then she slips up and lets me know she cheated on her 2 previous boyfriends (shes only had 3 boyfriends including me). I'm just about ok with this. until she tells me she was still with her boyfriend when we first got together for like a week. but i really like her so i stick with it. then she tells me that with her 2nd boyfriend she not only cheated on him with me. but also (after an argument) sucked off her colleague at work. now i say sucked off. she didnt just suck him off to spite her boyfriend. oh no. she was kissing this guy and he asked her to suck him off. like you do. so like... it wasn't even part of her plan. she just. obliged... and after busting in her face he didnt speak to her after. which i think illustrates to the tone of the interaction they had during that particular incident.
    anyway she tells me this. i break up with her.
    8th girl i was with was dating a guy (didnt sleep with him just getting to kno him) for a while but then was complaining to me about everything i was complaining to her about my dating experiences too. so we thought since we have the same complaints we should date. but anyway then she just starts complaining to the same guy about me instead. I end it.
    7th girl i am supposed to meet for dinner as we have remained friends. she wants to give things another try. although she has canceled dinner for a drink instead as she's meeting someone else for a drink later. she tells me its a female friend from work but when i press to join them for a drink she declines. so i assume its a guy shes shagging. also the place we've met at was her choice and unknown to me and seeing as she never brought me there when we were dating i guess a guy took her there on a date. which i later find out was true. so yea she was wanting to get back with me. whilst dating. and probably shagging. at least one other guy. awesome.

    brief dates
    one girl i was with for 2 weeks we have sex she tells me she and her ex boyfriend used to eat out each others asses. i end it then and there.

    another girl i date turns out is a stripper who has some sort of man she lives off of and has sex with who she says is a "friend'. i find her entertaining at least and go for a second date with her for the lulz. she then tells me all the depraved things shes into. such as she enjoys being urinated on and both urinating on others. as well as lesbian sex and having anal sex with men. but in a weird way. she wears a strap on and bums him. i find this so bizarre and shocking i start to laugh and then almost fall off my chair when she tells me she wants to do these things with me as well. needless to say i don't call her back.

    another girl i know just lives off men like a whore. she just sucks their dicks for any old thing. like a lift to the shops or something. but all these guys think they're her boyfriend.

    another girl who i liked broke up with her boyfriend. and then wanted to have sex with me pretty much immediately. by this stage needless to say i've given up on romance and agree to what is probably going to be sex so cold that it could be said that it was two people masturbating themselves with each others bodies. however stil it seems i am affected by things. this girl wants me. while having sex. to slap her. choke her and call her names like whore and filthy *****. I decline. but she is determined to do something demeaning to herself with my body. i won't describe what tea bagging is as im sure u already know but shes determined to do this.

    now i walk away from this "encounter" bothered. as it dawns on me a pattern has emerged.
    i realized the determination of having degrading sex was because she was probably mad at her ex boyfriend. i then realized that all the girls and guys when they cheat on their partners. they do things with the person that they have never done and would never do with their current official partner. they seem to get a kick out of doing extra depraved things with a stranger.


    Conclusion
    I was already a super pessimistic guy... uno, due to the previous history as mentioned above. like i didnt just naively stumble from one to another. each one i grew less hopeful and more aware that the world and everything init is pretty much forsaken and if its sacred, will be desecrated.

    however i think there was a little candle of hope flickering inside me. that maybe i might meet someone who will be nice. who i can have kids with and know that they won't do things that will mess up the kids. i mean nothing screws up ur self esteem and view on women like ur mother being a ****. no one wants to be at a tesco checkout and find the cashier smirking at ur mom cuz he used to sit on her face 10 years ago.

    but yea finding someone nice. i think now im starting to really believe that i won't. cuz its a very anxious tense falling feeling.

    like this seems to be literally it. everyone from my generation seems to be a sexual deviant or sympathetic to it. or some sort of closeted one where they say they aren't but then prove to be in future. I haven't even mentioned everything in terms of my experiences. i mean i thought maybe i was just unlucky experiencing all of this. but it seems to be i'm not the only one.

    only differences is i see something wrong with these experiences. due to them being morally or hygienically dirty.

    like what ever happened to romance? and people having sex that is special, not because of the weird stuff they've done. but is special because they are special to each other?

    like i feel like im so mild compared to everyone else. i mean i'm no angel. but my god...

    I think this post is with the purpose of reaching out to the faceless consciousness of the internet. hoping that maybe some obscure wisdom will answer it and make things better.

    i guess i'm also curious if i'm the only one that feels like this?

    or is everybody else just happy running around in this tornado of bukakke's and spit roasting.

    like are there any guys out there who feel disappointing that they themselves want to just have nice intimate sex with their girlfriend. but finding that their girlfriend wants them to act out some sort of rape fetish of hers and slapping her n all that messed up stuff.

    and is there any guys out there confused.

    confused at the fact that they are told that men watching violent porn against women is something that makes them sick misogynists.

    but then when they meet a girl who likes that stuff they are told that they are a misogynist for thinking she is sick for enjoying that treatment.?


    Also does anyone else think there's problems with a family unit where the parents have histories of sexual deviancy that may reach their way to their kids via word of mouth or even due to all the home made porn on the internet. or single mothers having rampant sexual lifestyles. you know like kids who have to turn up the TV so they can't here their mom banging her latest encounter.

    Anyway... I think u get the picture...
    Rant Over
    Tl;Dr?


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    People wouldn't just tell you this stuff, if you were talking about rumours, it might be believable, but the idea that people would just tell you this stuff because you're an empathetic listener is too far.
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    People wouldn't just tell you this stuff, if you were talking about rumours, it might be believable, but the idea that people would just tell you this stuff because you're an empathetic listener is too far.
    well you don't know what my relationship was with any of these people or how close they are. some people told me this and i've known them a while. some people have told me and i know them but im shocked that they've told me. some things i've heard people talk about literally openly as like a cheeky work conversation that gets people giggling like 15 year olds who smoke behind the bike shed. some people have been drunk and spoke about it at parties and had some group conversation where everyone has shared and then i've been accused of being "boring" or a "prude" which is suprising cuz i thought i was no angel myself but clearly i was wrong.

    maybe your young or naive as i was a few years ago. or maybe your lucky to have avoided it. or maybe im unlucky. i dunno. but hey suit ur self. this is a genuine issue for me and it matters to me. so if you don't believe thats fine you don't have to contribute.
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    (Original post by PrincessAlexis)
    Wow. I just want you to know I read every word of this it was brilliant.


    You might have to start broadening your social circles and looking elsewhere. May I ask how old you are ? I am 19 and I've only encountered this sort of behaviour once (enough for it to scare me for the rest of my life). I remember making out with this guy (innocent enough). He was touching my buttock area and before I knew it he put his finger into the hole (I screamed and was absolutely horrified) as you can imagine I asked to never see him again and made him leave shortly after.


    As another poster said, maybe you need to stop sleeping with people so early ? If you behave promiscuously are you surprised you are meeting other promiscuous people ? You need to start dating more 'normal' vanilla girls (they exist, I'm friends with them). I have friends in the 19-21 range who have literally only slept with 1-3 guys who are very normal and who don't have any weird stories such as this.


    The people you seem to describe sound like degenerates (the cheating!) who are literally going around and ****ing every tom **** and Harry whether or not they are in a relationship, I can assure you there are a lot of people who aren't this narcissistic and selfish. You need to start broadening your horizons.


    Stop going for girls who will sleep with you immediately. The girls who are living off men sound like cliche whore's/ gold diggers. This is definitely a social circle problem. Then you mention the baby mama's and people with multiple kids to different men :/


    You need to just have a whole new scenery. I'd advise you join meetup.com, start looking at new groups and joining new social circles. Be around smart, humb
    thanks.
    Im 24.

    i've mentioned 2 incidents where I got with someone quickly i will admit a 3rd one.
    other than that i didnt really get with people that quickly. but i'll straighten this out by putting length of time before sex was initiated.
    my first 2 relationships i new them for a year before we were going dating
    3rd relationship was fast I admit.
    4th relationship i was dating the girl for 6 months before we had sex.
    5th was 3 months before we had sex.
    6th was 6 months before we had sex.
    7th girl i new for almost 2 years before we even started dating.
    8th girl i had known for like 3 years prior to even dating.

    out of the 4 brief dates i mentioned 2 of them i had sex with. as you can imagine they are quite recent. its not something i did. but i gotta say. the sexual cheapness of people nowadays has lead me to those 2 moments where i was like "f*** it... might as well do what everyone else is doing"

    funnily enough the girls who i've thought were vanilla seem to be the most sexual. it seems like they try to make up in sex what they lack in personality.

    i don't get with girls who just sleep with me straight away.

    it sadly seems like im wasting my time getting to know girls who would sleep with me straight away anyway without trying to get to know them.

    i think i only mentioned one girl who was living off guys and she was the girl i met off of the internet. so she was completely outside my social circle.

    also i don't know how i can much more broaden my horizons than i already have.
    i've lived in 3 different cities since i moved out my parents house. also my family background plus place i grew up plus uni plus job could not have more contrasting social circles.

    but thank you for the reply
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    The easy availability of internet porn has definitely led to larger numbers of people engaging in 'kinky' practices and to the normalisation of said practices so you are probably partly seeing that. However, I suspect you are just unlucky and have met loads of **** people. Of all of my friends, I only know of two who have cheated and my relationships with them are generally quite open so I would likely know if they had cheated on their partners.

    Did you ever think, though, that you may be fixating on these examples rather than the examples of 'normal' sexual behaviour you encounter? You said to someone above that you remember all of these - perhaps this memory is creating a biased statistic in your mind?

    There definitely are nice, normal women out there who you can trust and who aren't obsessed with kinky practices, you just need to get to know more people I think. I would suggest meeting people through friends of friends but it sounds like your friends are perhaps not the best place to start...
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    (Original post by HotCoco.)
    Tl;Dr?


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    great stuff
    well done
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The easy availability of internet porn has definitely led to larger numbers of people engaging in 'kinky' practices and to the normalisation of said practices so you are probably partly seeing that. However, I suspect you are just unlucky and have met loads of **** people. Of all of my friends, I only know of two who have cheated and my relationships with them are generally quite open so I would likely know if they had cheated on their partners.

    Did you ever think, though, that you may be fixating on these examples rather than the examples of 'normal' sexual behaviour you encounter? You said to someone above that you remember all of these - perhaps this memory is creating a biased statistic in your mind?

    There definitely are nice, normal women out there who you can trust and who aren't obsessed with kinky practices, you just need to get to know more people I think. I would suggest meeting people through friends of friends but it sounds like your friends are perhaps not the best place to start...
    see its got to the point where even if i meet a girl who is nice i just don't believe it.
    like i think she's a liar and probably even worse because shes not honest about it.
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    I'm currently very cynical too. After a string of similar stories to yours, I thought I'd cracked it a few years ago when I met a really nice girl who'd never slept with anyone - because she was "waiting for the right guy". Of course, after a while, she explained that she was really interested in being a "slave", which I figured was okay - power play can be a lot of fun. And then she was talking about what it would be like to be with two guys at the same time.

    And I'm there wondering where it all went wrong? I'm all for fantasy, but as much as I'd like to, I don't possess four hands and two penises. We broke up later - for different reasons (officially), but I feel like sometimes there's no way to know what you're getting in for. And it goes without saying that it may be years before your partner starts to crave experiences that you can't provide, and there's nothing anyone could've done differently to avoid it.

    Honestly it's just a shame these things happen. But people can, and do, change, and all you can do is keep playing until you win.
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    (Original post by Calpurnia)
    I'm currently very cynical too. After a string of similar stories to yours, I thought I'd cracked it a few years ago when I met a really nice girl who'd never slept with anyone - because she was "waiting for the right guy". Of course, after a while, she explained that she was really interested in being a "slave", which I figured was okay - power play can be a lot of fun. And then she was talking about what it would be like to be with two guys at the same time.

    And I'm there wondering where it all went wrong? I'm all for fantasy, but as much as I'd like to, I don't possess four hands and two penises. We broke up later - for different reasons (officially), but I feel like sometimes there's no way to know what you're getting in for. And it goes without saying that it may be years before your partner starts to crave experiences that you can't provide, and there's nothing anyone could've done differently to avoid it.

    Honestly it's just a shame these things happen. But people can, and do, change, and all you can do is keep playing until you win.
    *sigh* there is no hope.

    if love is a game where winning is happily married with kids and losing is the person you love and have kids with being desecrated and betraying you in ways you couldn't imagine? then i'd really just rather not play that game.

    I think i'm just going to remain relationships. basically celibate until i feel the need to itch the scratch of sexual desire and just use someone for sex. i say use. but i don't been a one way thing. i mean how can u just as equally wants to use you for sex
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    (Original post by Mick.w)
    *sigh* there is no hope.

    if love is a game where winning is happily married with kids and losing is the person you love and have kids with being desecrated and betraying you in ways you couldn't imagine? then i'd really just rather not play that game.

    I think i'm just going to remain relationships. basically celibate until i feel the need to itch the scratch of sexual desire and just use someone for sex. i say use. but i don't been a one way thing. i mean how can u just as equally wants to use you for sex
    Tragically, that could well be the best decision.
 
 
 
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