I like my flat mate... Watch

lousmithy
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#1
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#1
We have hooked up (kissed in bed) a lot of times since September, last time was last Wednesday after a night out. I'm really starting to like him but he doesn't want a relationship, he's told me. We get on really well in the day, and nothings ever awkward.

He said he didn't want me to get attached and that he wants it to be cool between us, and if i started to we should stop. I said I wouldn't and am not , just enjoy being chilled and getting with him after nights out. The truth is, I am, i really like him and we really do get on well. It's sad that he doesn't want a relationship, he's even told me, how cool and hot and how well we get in, it's weird.

We're in first year university, and it's just messing with my head. Last night we went out and i said should i come to his room after, and he just did a hand single like 'maybe', i got a little upset by this, and i think he could tell. All night after this he was putting his arm round me and getting me to smile and dance. I won't be asking him again, as he clearly had all the power.

I really don't know what to do, i'd be upset if i saw him with other people though.
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Temporality
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#2
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(Original post by lousmithy)
We have hooked up (kissed in bed) a lot of times since September, last time was last Wednesday after a night out. I'm really starting to like him but he doesn't want a relationship, he's told me. We get on really well in the day, and nothings ever awkward.

He said he didn't want me to get attached and that he wants it to be cool between us, and if i started to we should stop. I said I wouldn't and am not , just enjoy being chilled and getting with him after nights out. The truth is, I am, i really like him and we really do get on well. It's sad that he doesn't want a relationship, he's even told me, how cool and hot and how well we get in, it's weird.

We're in first year university, and it's just messing with my head. Last night we went out and i said should i come to his room after, and he just did a hand single like 'maybe', i got a little upset by this, and i think he could tell. All night after this he was putting his arm round me and getting me to smile and dance. I won't be asking him again, as he clearly had all the power.

I really don't know what to do, i'd be upset if i saw him with other people though.
to be honest with you if you go cold on him and stop being available and lovely to him, he will probably start chasing after you.
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Inazuma
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Well it's strikingly obvious he doesn't want anything serious and you wouldn't be able to handle that even if you wanted to.
So, stop trying anything. Unless you would like buckets of unrequited hurt essentially.


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The Juan
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(Original post by lousmithy)
We have hooked up (kissed in bed) a lot of times since September, last time was last Wednesday after a night out. I'm really starting to like him but he doesn't want a relationship, he's told me. We get on really well in the day, and nothings ever awkward.

He said he didn't want me to get attached and that he wants it to be cool between us, and if i started to we should stop. I said I wouldn't and am not , just enjoy being chilled and getting with him after nights out. The truth is, I am, i really like him and we really do get on well. It's sad that he doesn't want a relationship, he's even told me, how cool and hot and how well we get in, it's weird.

We're in first year university, and it's just messing with my head. Last night we went out and i said should i come to his room after, and he just did a hand single like 'maybe', i got a little upset by this, and i think he could tell. All night after this he was putting his arm round me and getting me to smile and dance. I won't be asking him again, as he clearly had all the power.

I really don't know what to do, i'd be upset if i saw him with other people though. He always asks if i got with people at night, and i tell him the truth. He says i'm so hot though, so i don't understand why he doesn't want to carry on?
From a male perspective relationships are hell. He has set up an understanding that you complied to and it works best for him. Most of us young men just want some fun and the idea of a serious relationship seems pointless when all we want is certain aspects of it rather than the whole package. There is no reason he would stop what you two are currently doing because he is getting all the good aspects of a relationship minus the bull**** and baggage that normally comes with them.
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Azza94
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Coming from a lad and judging from what you've told me, he's just stringing you along. I'm not surprised he doesn't want to commit. At the end of the day you're in your first year of university and want a little fun, sleeping around etc.

I know you like him but don't get attached and try to forget about him, coming from personal experience.
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lousmithy
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(Original post by The Juan)
From a male perspective relationships are hell. He has set up an understanding that you complied to and it works best for him. Most of us young men just want some fun and the idea of a serious relationship seems pointless when all we want is certain aspects of it rather than the whole package. There is no reason he would stop what you two are currently doing because he is getting all the good aspects of a relationship minus the bull**** and baggage that normally comes with them.
Hey - thanks, you're right but he seems to have stopped it but we get on so well in the day. He also says he wants to pick me up and we play football together and he grabs my waist and ****. but then in the evening doesn't seem so keen to get with me at the mo? I'm really confused...
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MrMango
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(Original post by The Juan)
From a male perspective relationships are hell. He has set up an understanding that you complied to and it works best for him. Most of us young men just want some fun and the idea of a serious relationship seems pointless when all we want is certain aspects of it rather than the whole package. There is no reason he would stop what you two are currently doing because he is getting all the good aspects of a relationship minus the bull**** and baggage that normally comes with them.
this

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The Juan
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(Original post by lousmithy)
Hey - thanks, you're right but he seems to have stopped it but we get on so well in the day. He also says he wants to pick me up and we play football together and he grabs my waist and ****. but then in the evening doesn't seem so keen to get with me at the mo? I'm really confused...
Basically us men in a relationship have times when we want to do certain stuff and others when we can't be bothered one bit. This is why they suck because we are not 100% committed every day. He likes you- Yes, but he wants the freedom to not commit on some days, to not play happy couple some days, to not have to buy anniversary or Xmas presents, to not have to cook...and so on. He has full control and that is the best relationship for us(Not in a violent way but that suits us). We want control over our own lives basically and women kinda confuse things because they are so relationship orientated.
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