Urgently need some advice, help! Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
Hi guys, in a pretty awful situation at the moment and i need your help!

The past few months i have been seeing/dating this girl, i knew fairly straight away that she had come out of a very long and serious relationship. However, we took it day by day and long story short ended falling for each other acting like a couple and having the most amazing time possible.

Then completely randomly she hit me with a text calling it all off because she 'isnt ready' for what we have, she wanted to be ready but she isnt. She told me how happy i made her, how much she cared about me, how she didnt think she would fall for someone so quickly etc'

Long story short, she told me she still wasn't sure about it all, i told her she needed some space so i left her to it for a couple of days. Problem being was she continued trying to text me and carry on conversations. After she had a think we met up and had a chat, basically ended up saying she wanted to be with me but she was just scared about it all being completely new & the last relationship is a big thing to get over. I agreed and told her i understand im not pressuring you into anything and we can take it as slowly as you want. Saw her briefly on Sunday and she hadnt really made her mind up about what she wanted to do.

Now i dont want to pressure her because she will run a mile if i pressure her for an answer, i know she will... My question is, what do i do now? Obviously its unfair on me to keep dragging it on and on, ive taken a step back and she continues to try start conversations. So i wont lie im pretty confused, do i send her a text giving her some space? or one reassuring her we can work through it all together?

HELP
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Rock Fan
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#2
Report 4 years ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi guys, in a pretty awful situation at the moment and i need your help!

The past few months i have been seeing/dating this girl, i knew fairly straight away that she had come out of a very long and serious relationship. However, we took it day by day and long story short ended falling for each other acting like a couple and having the most amazing time possible.

Then completely randomly she hit me with a text calling it all off because she 'isnt ready' for what we have, she wanted to be ready but she isnt. She told me how happy i made her, how much she cared about me, how she didnt think she would fall for someone so quickly etc'

Long story short, she told me she still wasn't sure about it all, i told her she needed some space so i left her to it for a couple of days. Problem being was she continued trying to text me and carry on conversations. After she had a think we met up and had a chat, basically ended up saying she wanted to be with me but she was just scared about it all being completely new & the last relationship is a big thing to get over. I agreed and told her i understand im not pressuring you into anything and we can take it as slowly as you want. Saw her briefly on Sunday and she hadnt really made her mind up about what she wanted to do.

Now i dont want to pressure her because she will run a mile if i pressure her for an answer, i know she will... My question is, what do i do now? Obviously its unfair on me to keep dragging it on and on, ive taken a step back and she continues to try start conversations. So i wont lie im pretty confused, do i send her a text giving her some space? or one reassuring her we can work through it all together?

HELP
I guess you could text her saying you promise you won't hurt her but you are gonna have to tread carefully especially as she has come out of a long term relationship and her emotions will be all over the place, it took me over a year before I could be with anyone else after a break up, judging by her replies she doesn't sound like she is ready for anything heavy anytime so you could text her saying what I said in the first line but I would give her lots of space.
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
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(Original post by Rock Fan)
I guess you could text her saying you promise you won't hurt her but you are gonna have to tread carefully especially as she has come out of a long term relationship and her emotions will be all over the place, it took me over a year before I could be with anyone else after a break up, judging by her replies she doesn't sound like she is ready for anything heavy anytime so you could text her saying what I said in the first line but I would give her lots of space.
I decided the space option would be much better, told her i fully understand everything that she has said to me and that i care about her so much, and therefore go as slowly as you want. You do what makes you happy is what i said to her. I told her that its unfair on us both and unintentionally emotions are being hurt, i said i believe the best thing for her is to have the space you need to try and sort out how you feel. Talking to me all the time isn't going to help her make decision. Just told her to call me when she feels she has had the space she needs! I did reassure her just how much i cared about her and that being scared is normal etc etc...

Guess its the right thing to do? Thank you.
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Rock Fan
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#4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I decided the space option would be much better, told her i fully understand everything that she has said to me and that i care about her so much, and therefore go as slowly as you want. You do what makes you happy is what i said to her. I told her that its unfair on us both and unintentionally emotions are being hurt, i said i believe the best thing for her is to have the space you need to try and sort out how you feel. Talking to me all the time isn't going to help her make decision. Just told her to call me when she feels she has had the space she needs! I did reassure her just how much i cared about her and that being scared is normal etc etc...

Guess its the right thing to do? Thank you.
Yeah probably best thing to do, keep your chin up.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 years ago
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(Original post by Rock Fan)
Yeah probably best thing to do, keep your chin up.
Its difficult mate it really is, i want to be with her and its clear to me she wants to be with me but didn't expect to fall for someone else so quickly, nothing much really else i can do now is there!
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Rock Fan
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#6
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Its difficult mate it really is, i want to be with her and its clear to me she wants to be with me but didn't expect to fall for someone else so quickly, nothing much really else i can do now is there!
Trust me I know it is difficult to stay hopeful sometimes, been there before many times. All you can do is maybe just give it time.
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Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
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(Original post by Rock Fan)
Trust me I know it is difficult to stay hopeful sometimes, been there before many times. All you can do is maybe just give it time.
Im staying hopeful, she wants to be with me otherwise she would of told me weeks ago she didnt want to be. She knows in herself she should do what makes her happy. Still no reply from my text yet, 6 hours later :/
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Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
Im staying hopeful, she wants to be with me otherwise she would of told me weeks ago she didnt want to be. She knows in herself she should do what makes her happy. Still no reply from my text yet, 6 hours later :/
I am trying to take my mind off it all but there really isn't anything else i can do, im presuming if she doesnt text me thats an answer?
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