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    I made a thread about this when the situation first came about but I kinda abandoned it, but anyway..

    Basics: I discovered on accident that my dad's phone wallpaper is a photo of a woman who isn't my mum and not long after when I was sitting next to him, I just so happened to look over his shoulder and caught a glimpse of his screen. He was texting someone, presumably the woman in the picture, because her little contact icon looked similar to the background wallpaper. I also saw out the corner of my eye that she'd been sending my dad some love emojis and lovey dovey messages (quite gross). I never consulted my brother about this or anyone else and long story short, this discovery hits me hard because I have bad memories of my parents constantly arguing because my mum suspected him of having affairs with other women but I learned to live with it and try not to believe any of it, but that was long, long ago (like over 5 years ago). Seeing the pictures just made it all feel so real and it's a constant reminder that my family is way past broken even though I've spent years trying to convince myself that we aren't.

    All of the above happened over the summer and I've kept everything to myself. I've thought about this every day since and every time I see my parents again (I go to a boarding school) it's so clear that my mum cares about my dad more than he cares about her and I feel so bad for her. To make myself feel even worse, I'm keeping something as big as my dad's possible affair from her. I feel like an awful excuse for a daughter because I know more than she does about what's really going on yet I continue to watch my dad act so uncaring and unfairly towards her because I don't have the heart to be the one who breaks my family even further

    What do I do?
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    Confront him on it?

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I made a thread about this when the situation first came about but I kinda abandoned it, but anyway..

    Basics: I discovered on accident that my dad's phone wallpaper is a photo of a woman who isn't my mum and not long after when I was sitting next to him, I just so happened to look over his shoulder and caught a glimpse of his screen. He was texting someone, presumably the woman in the picture, because her little contact icon looked similar to the background wallpaper. I also saw out the corner of my eye that she'd been sending my dad some love emojis and lovey dovey messages (quite gross). I never consulted my brother about this or anyone else and long story short, this discovery hits me hard because I have bad memories of my parents constantly arguing because my mum suspected him of having affairs with other women but I learned to live with it and try not to believe any of it, but that was long, long ago (like over 5 years ago). Seeing the pictures just made it all feel so real and it's a constant reminder that my family is way past broken even though I've spent years trying to convince myself that we aren't.

    All of the above happened over the summer and I've kept everything to myself. I've thought about this every day since and every time I see my parents again (I go to a boarding school) it's so clear that my mum cares about my dad more than he cares about her and I feel so bad for her. To make myself feel even worse, I'm keeping something as big as my dad's possible affair from her. I feel like an awful excuse for a daughter because I know more than she does about what's really going on yet I continue to watch my dad act so uncaring and unfairly towards her because I don't have the heart to be the one who breaks my family even further

    What do I do?
    You're not a bad daughter at all... but think how you would feel if you were your mum, would you want to be told?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I made a thread about this when the situation first came about but I kinda abandoned it, but anyway..

    Basics: I discovered on accident that my dad's phone wallpaper is a photo of a woman who isn't my mum and not long after when I was sitting next to him, I just so happened to look over his shoulder and caught a glimpse of his screen. He was texting someone, presumably the woman in the picture, because her little contact icon looked similar to the background wallpaper. I also saw out the corner of my eye that she'd been sending my dad some love emojis and lovey dovey messages (quite gross). I never consulted my brother about this or anyone else and long story short, this discovery hits me hard because I have bad memories of my parents constantly arguing because my mum suspected him of having affairs with other women but I learned to live with it and try not to believe any of it, but that was long, long ago (like over 5 years ago). Seeing the pictures just made it all feel so real and it's a constant reminder that my family is way past broken even though I've spent years trying to convince myself that we aren't.

    All of the above happened over the summer and I've kept everything to myself. I've thought about this every day since and every time I see my parents again (I go to a boarding school) it's so clear that my mum cares about my dad more than he cares about her and I feel so bad for her. To make myself feel even worse, I'm keeping something as big as my dad's possible affair from her. I feel like an awful excuse for a daughter because I know more than she does about what's really going on yet I continue to watch my dad act so uncaring and unfairly towards her because I don't have the heart to be the one who breaks my family even further

    What do I do?
    private message me about it exact same situation as you


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    You're not a bad daughter at all! There is no such thing as a "bad daughter" or a "bad son": a true parent will always love their child.

    Firstly, you need to confront your dad, CALMLY, about the situation. Tell him what you saw and observe his reply.

    If after your conversation with him you feel that he is strongly denying the truth then do a bit more exploring and eventually tell your mum, she doesn't deserve this and it is none of your fault so don't blame yourself

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    If it was me I would sit them both down together and confront him whilst my Mum was there.

    You're not the bad person here, and if your Dad is having an affair then your Mum deserves to know.
    • #2
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    You're not a bad daughter, he's a bad father and husband for making you feel that way and treating your mother like he is (if he is). If he isn't doing anything then he has noting to hide.
 
 
 
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