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She slept with someone else watch

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    The girl I've been seeing slept with another guy last night. She doesn't know I know.

    She's always been clear that our 'relationship' wasn't exclusive, but the way she acted over the last 2 months, especially telling me how much she likes me, was an indication that things were getting more serious. We'd spend every weekend together and pretty much act like a genuine couple.

    Now I know that technically she hasn't cheated, since we're not officially together, but obviously it hurt my feelings a lot last night when I found out.

    I'm not sure how to approach this, or how I should feel going forward. Any advice would be appreciated
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    I guess my advice would be, don't sleep with girls you're not in a long term relationship with.
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    you need to tell her that you found out and how you feel about it..it seems like you do have feelings for her and you need to decide whether you're cool with carrying on how you are or you want things to be different.. i.e not see eachother/become exclusive..etc.
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    End it. She hasn't decided she wants it to be exclusive after 2 months of acting like it?
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    Tell her you want to be exclusive.

    If she says no, you're saving yourself hassle in the long run.

    If she says yes, congrats.
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    Sounds like she wants the benefits of being in a couple with the simultaneous benefits of seeing other people. That's not the type of person you want to be entering into a relationship with. If I were you I'd end it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The girl I've been seeing slept with another guy last night. She doesn't know I know.

    She's always been clear that our 'relationship' wasn't exclusive, but the way she acted over the last 2 months, especially telling me how much she likes me, was an indication that things were getting more serious. We'd spend every weekend together and pretty much act like a genuine couple.

    Now I know that technically she hasn't cheated, since we're not officially together, but obviously it hurt my feelings a lot last night when I found out.

    I'm not sure how to approach this, or how I should feel going forward. Any advice would be appreciated
    The bit in bold is the crucial bit. She's told you how she sees the relationship, so you shouldn't be surprised when she does things that go along with this.

    When people tell you they don't want to be exclusive, there's no point in you going along with thinking she doesn't mean it, because she clearly does.

    Basically you either deal with it, because she has been open and honest about what she wants, or you end it if it's upsetting you. Personally I don't think open relationships are beneficial to anyone, though I suppose it could be right for certain people at certain points in their lives.
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    I would end it too, your feelings aren't just going to go away if you carry on seeing her and you'll just be hurt again. She obviously doesn't feel the same way about you the way you do about her.
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    That must hurt , this is why these sorts of things don't work out.
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    End it.

    It's clear that she's not that into you - if she was she wouldn't of slept with someone else.
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    Took me a year to be exclusive with my partner and even now we still agree it's okay to play away once in a while if we're honest with each other and it's just sex.

    Say it hurt your feelings but you understand you hadn't defined the relationship yet. And that you'd like to maybe make things more serious, if she doesn't then probably end it. Non-monogamy is hard
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    Tell her you know, if she looks upset or anything like that you need to talk about it, if she shows no emotion then she's not worth it, been there before mate


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    (Original post by miser)
    Sounds like she wants the benefits of being in a couple with the simultaneous benefits of seeing other people. That's not the type of person you want to be entering into a relationship with. If I were you I'd end it.
    There's nothing wrong with what she did. If anyone wants the best of both worlds it's the OP. He needs to man up and DtR.
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    (Original post by Enoxial)
    Shes defo cheating.
    Only it's not cheating since they're not exclusive.
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    I'd end it. If she's done it once, she's likely to do it again. If she can't commit to an exclusive relationship from the get go, in my opinion, she's not worth it.
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    (Original post by Cormac Easton)
    There's nothing wrong with what she did. If anyone wants the best of both worlds it's the OP. He needs to man up and DtR.
    I agree she didn't act wrongly.
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    Put your cards on the table, if she doesn't like that then she isn't the one for you :-)
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    (Original post by Cormac Easton)
    Only it's not cheating since they're not exclusive.
    Why? Because she said so over 2 months ago? Sufficient time has lapsed.
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    I think most of the posters here already covered what I was going to say! Unfortunately it's easy for us to tell you to leave her because she's clearly not into you. In reality I'm sure it'll probably go more along the lines of you asking her about it, her saying you knew what this was, and you end up staying with her either way. Not because you're stupid, but because we're stupid in love.

    It's definitely worth trying to move on though if you can. Anyone who will issue disclaimers on commitment in a relationship should be given a wide berth imo. Good luck!
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    While this is clearly the OP's fault for wanting more and not going for it (thereby preventing this situation), at the same time it does sound a borderline act of disloyalty.

    I don't think she's a good investment and in future you need to be more of a man and claim that relationship as yours exclusively as soon as you develop feelings because in this case it was your own weakness (letting her define the terms of your relationship) and her borderline disloyalty (some things don't need to be spoken and by the sounds of it she acted in a manner befitting something more) which caused this situation.
 
 
 
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