So it's my third month at University (5 hours from home) and I'm still getting homesick. Not all the time, just 2/3 nights a week where I start thinking of home and my family and then start getting upset.
The problem is, my parents are divorced and live on their own, I spent alternating weeks at each parents house so I saw them a lot and they kind of relied on me for company.
I keep getting this feeling of extreme guilt that I've left both my parents on their own and I feel totally responsible for it for choosing a University so far away from home. I don't think it would be as bad if they were both re-married or had people living in the house with them but they're both totally on their own since I left.
I don't know what to do, I've been googleing what happens if I drop out etc... and I just can't stop getting upset these few times a week. I'm loving University and my flatmates/coursemates but I just miss home and my family so much still.
Is this unusual to still be homesick after this long?
I'm going back for Christmas and I'll be back for almost a month, so when I leave for Uni again I think I'm going to take it really badly and be upset and homesick even more...
What is wrong with me and how can I move past these feelings of guilt and homesickness?
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Keeping getting homesick and getting upset. watch
- Thread Starter
- 04-12-2014 19:33
- 04-12-2014 20:22
You are a caring person for feeling guilty for your parents!
However....... You are an ADULT now and fully entitled to go where you want and enjoy your life, which you sound like you are doing. And think of it like this, don;t feel guilty about your parents being lonely, feel happy that they must be proud to have a son/daughter who is now at University and thriving.
Its your parents responsibility to not be lonely! In fact, you leaving for Uni may just be the kick up the backside they need to realise that you have flown the nest and they need to find other interests.
By all means, when you go back at Christmas you could put the feelers out to see if they have been lonely. But DONT drop out on account of your parents being lonely!
A bit of homesickness is pretty normal. In fact, I bet many people in your flats/uni are secretly homesick to some extent bout would not admit it. Try and think of your uni and flats as your 'home' now.
- 05-12-2014 09:51
You can't drop out because your parents are lonely.. lots of people live on their own. They must have other family members and friends who they could talk to? Or a job where they see people every day?
Some people don't like being that far away from home, though, and that's fine. So if that's the case for you, then why not see if there is any chance of transferring to a uni closer to home for your second year? First year will be over in a few months, you'll get to go home at Christmas and Easter between now and then, so there's not that long to go, really.
A friend from my course moved home after first year and there wasn't a problem with transferring as long as the uni you're moving to have done similar modules (for us that was easy as we did psychology which was BPS accredited).
But just make sure that you're making the decision for the right reasons. Your parents are grown up, it's not your job to look after them. They chose to get divorced and chose to live on their own - knowing that you wouldn't be living with them forever. They wouldn't want to think that you were worrying about them.