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    I know its probably not what you want to hear, but if you're not both fully invested in the relationship, its really not likely to work.

    By all means, keep in touch, keep communicating, you might both decide you want to try again properly, but also bear in mind that it might not be a great idea to hang on in hope for too long. You might end up getting hurt more.
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    I've literally been here recently. I wasn't so explicit about wanting to get back together but certainly clingy and asking him what had changed etc, and it just made things worse, he became more distant and less interested. So far, you've told her repeatedly you want her back while she's turned you down - she thinks she can have you whenever she wants and so doesn't appreciate/respect you. Now, you might not get her back - but this is my advice for how to maximise your chances: cut contact. You can tell her you've realised she's right before doing so or just stop speaking. In the meantime, try and fill your life with things, go out with friends, have fun etc. If she does want you back this will make her miss you and reconsider, realise you won't just be waiting around.
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    (Original post by joker12345)
    I've literally been here recently. I wasn't so explicit about wanting to get back together but certainly clingy and asking him what had changed etc, and it just made things worse, he became more distant and less interested. So far, you've told her repeatedly you want her back while she's turned you down - she thinks she can have you whenever she wants and so doesn't appreciate/respect you. Now, you might not get her back - but this is my advice for how to maximise your chances: cut contact. You can tell her you've realised she's right before doing so or just stop speaking. In the meantime, try and fill your life with things, go out with friends, have fun etc. If she does want you back this will make her miss you and reconsider, realise you won't just be waiting around.
    This is such sound advice.

    OP, be prepared for the possibility that even after doing all of this stuff, she still may not want you back. And the thing that'll eat you up at night is "could I have done more?". Always try to remember that if it doesn't work out, it's not meant to be - and if it was, she'd have come to you since she knows the option is there. It sounds like you might be able to wrangle some sort of half-relationship out of your situation if you wanted, but I'd honestly not recommend it - it's rarely fully reparable after this kind of damage.
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    (Original post by Supertoaster)
    Thanks for the advice, I took her messaging me/what she said last weekend as her reconsidering/missing it though? I know I screwed that up by being drunk and not thinking about what I was saying and coming on strong again. She's away working for 2 weeks now. I'll probably try talk to her when she's back, if it doesn't look hopeful then, I guess I'll move on.
    Yes, and that's fair, but you messed that up by being so clingy etc, so when she looked back at her drunk texts it went back to the 'oh he's so desparate, I can have him whenever'. If you'd said 'okay, well we should meet up and discuss this' or even 'I still have feelings for you, we need to talk about this' it'd have been different.
    If I were you I wouldn't contact and wait till she does. It's obviously up to you, but you already look desparate, don't look even more desparate.
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    (Original post by Supertoaster)
    Hey, so me and my girlfriend decided to stop seeing each other about 2 months ago now, a week or two after it happened I decided it wasn't what I wanted, I told her that I think I love her...and she didn't say she didn't want to be together, just that she didn't think it'd work under the circumstances of why we decided not to see each other (we are both very busy, live about an hour journey away from each other and it was getting serious fast.)

    Move forward to last weekend, I get a message out of the blue from her, telling me she thinks it was a mistake now too and she still has feelings for me. I was out and very drunk at the time, I ended up sending her all this stuff about how I still loved her, that if we still feel for each other after 2 months I think we could make it work, etc etc, coming on very strong and probably cringy (which isn't how I wanted it to be). She replied the next day, turns out she was drunk too at the time, and she replied with "I think I was just drunk and ready aha. Sorry about it. It wouldn't be fair because I'm not so sure and I obviously wouldn't want to do it to you again".

    I replied telling her I still wanted it, even if we just were to take it easy and see what happens, and I'd leave her to think about it, but she didn't reply. A few days later (yesterday) I initiated a small general conversation , you know, "how is everything" etc. we messaged for a little while then I had go. And now here I am posting on TSR for advice. I don't want/need telling I should move on or anything like that, I'm just looking to mainly see what people make of what she might be thinking, I thought they were fairly good signs, until she didn't reply to the last message, or was 4 days too short of a time?
    You don't "think" you love someone, when you love them then you know, there's no maybes.

    Also your reasons for not wanting to be together are very poor.

    Sounds like neither of you are that into each other, if anything you like her more than she likes you. And the fact you both seem to only tell each other how you feel when drunk, sounds like you both just miss being with someone, not actually miss each other.

    I would cut off contact and either let her come to you and actually be honest with yourselves with what you both want, or move on and find somene you are actually prepared to make an effort with.
 
 
 
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