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Mother pressuring me to study medicine and criticises me repeatedly. watch

    • #1
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    #1

    Hi All

    I studied GCSE's and didn't do too well, I left A-Levels due to mental health issues and am now studying a degree with the Open University which is convenient because of my mental health.

    My mother has told me "If I knew you were not studying A-levels I would have forced you back into it". She also compares me to our relatives whose son has managed to study a Medicine related degree. She always states to me how my cousin has managed to become a Doctor. Now I was nearly on the verge of obtaining at third class degree due to health issues and she has stated "Everything has happened for the best of it" implying she wants me to redo my A-levels and study medicine after I am done with my "useless open university degree". Furthermore when I got terminated from my job she then again boasted how my cousin has become a doctor and tried to pressure me to study medicine.

    I then told her the requirements of medicine and she said in our country we paid our fees by ourself, paid for the books ourself and done everything ourself. In this country you do not even have to do anything to study medicine.

    The reason why she wants me to do study medicine is because there is respect and money. I would have studied medicine because I find the human body fascinating however I do not have the entry requirements to enter a university.

    I kind of loose my temper when she brings this up and sometimes want to cry.

    What should I say to her?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi All

    I studied GCSE's and didn't do too well, I left A-Levels due to mental health issues and am now studying a degree with the Open University which is convenient because of my mental health.

    My mother has told me "If I knew you were not studying A-levels I would have forced you back into it". She also compares me to our relatives whose son has managed to study a Medicine related degree. She always states to me how my cousin has managed to become a Doctor. Now I was nearly on the verge of obtaining at third class degree due to health issues and she has stated "Everything has happened for the best of it" implying she wants me to redo my A-levels and study medicine after I am done with my "useless open university degree". Furthermore when I got terminated from my job she then again boasted how my cousin has become a doctor and tried to pressure me to study medicine.

    I then told her the requirements of medicine and she said in our country we paid our fees by ourself, paid for the books ourself and done everything ourself. In this country you do not even have to do anything to study medicine.

    The reason why she wants me to do study medicine is because there is respect and money. I would have studied medicine because I find the human body fascinating however I do not have the entry requirements to enter a university.

    I kind of loose my temper when she brings this up and sometimes want to cry.

    What should I say to her?
    Are you Asian? Maybe ask a close family member to speak with her?

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi All

    I studied GCSE's and didn't do too well, I left A-Levels due to mental health issues and am now studying a degree with the Open University which is convenient because of my mental health.

    My mother has told me "If I knew you were not studying A-levels I would have forced you back into it". She also compares me to our relatives whose son has managed to study a Medicine related degree. She always states to me how my cousin has managed to become a Doctor. Now I was nearly on the verge of obtaining at third class degree due to health issues and she has stated "Everything has happened for the best of it" implying she wants me to redo my A-levels and study medicine after I am done with my "useless open university degree". Furthermore when I got terminated from my job she then again boasted how my cousin has become a doctor and tried to pressure me to study medicine.

    I then told her the requirements of medicine and she said in our country we paid our fees by ourself, paid for the books ourself and done everything ourself. In this country you do not even have to do anything to study medicine.

    The reason why she wants me to do study medicine is because there is respect and money. I would have studied medicine because I find the human body fascinating however I do not have the entry requirements to enter a university.

    I kind of loose my temper when she brings this up and sometimes want to cry.

    What should I say to her?
    You should tell her how you feel and that her telling you this is not helping.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi All

    I studied GCSE's and didn't do too well, I left A-Levels due to mental health issues and am now studying a degree with the Open University which is convenient because of my mental health.

    My mother has told me "If I knew you were not studying A-levels I would have forced you back into it". She also compares me to our relatives whose son has managed to study a Medicine related degree. She always states to me how my cousin has managed to become a Doctor. Now I was nearly on the verge of obtaining at third class degree due to health issues and she has stated "Everything has happened for the best of it" implying she wants me to redo my A-levels and study medicine after I am done with my "useless open university degree". Furthermore when I got terminated from my job she then again boasted how my cousin has become a doctor and tried to pressure me to study medicine.

    I then told her the requirements of medicine and she said in our country we paid our fees by ourself, paid for the books ourself and done everything ourself. In this country you do not even have to do anything to study medicine.

    The reason why she wants me to do study medicine is because there is respect and money. I would have studied medicine because I find the human body fascinating however I do not have the entry requirements to enter a university.

    I kind of loose my temper when she brings this up and sometimes want to cry.

    What should I say to her?
    If every single person that doesn't want toe become a doctor actually becomes a doctor due to parents then the whole health service would be ****.
    You need to want to become a doctor because it is not easy and will never be and the passion that you have will make you a great doctor.
    Do whatever you want whatever you feel you want to do because if it is what you want and like you'll put much more effort into it. Let your mum know that you'll be successful in whatever you'll be doing because you will enjoy what you will be doing. Medicine is just for the people that have the call to be doctors. Good luck in whatever you will be doing! I hope that you will enjoy it and I hope your health problems will get better in time x

    Btw tell your mum that people who study medicine are more likely to get mental health problems than anybody else from other course due to high stress and a lot of amount of work. Studies proved it.


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    You need to sit her down and talk to her, tell her to wise up.

    She shouldn't be projecting her own inadequacies on you.
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    shes not doing it for you. Shes doing it for herself so she can say "well my child is a doctor."

    Tell her to shove it up her ass, if she wants a doctor the family she can get a nose in a book
    • #2
    #2

    I know how you feel mate, been there and fought it. It's typical Asian parents in this country who haven't moved on from the stone ages.

    In her mind, by you being a doctor makes you more attractive to marry and gives your family a higher social status, making you the "better" family. You'll notice that your cousins of the same age or those who've grown up in this country don't think like that at all whereas the parents and co., do.

    My parent's were pushing me to apply for Medicine for a while but you have to just stand your ground. I did take it on the chin before but it came to a point where I exploded and just told them that they're talking ****. You're making your own mental condition worse by taking this ****. You're basically being bullied. Does she realize that redoing your A Levels would take another two years plus the minimum 5 years at Medical school? (Assuming you get in first time).

    What are your own interests? Explore those. And open university courses aren't useless at all, you just need to make sure that you're sticking to a plan and have a decent idea of what you want to do.
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    tell her to mind her own buiz...its your life and quite frankly tell her you wont study medicine unless she pays for everything...
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    I know it's hard, and yes it's going to be difficult to make your mum stop but, my advice is put 100% effort into what YOU want to do. Even if you don't know yet, struggle and persist to find what career you want to go into. A Doctor is just another human being like me and you, there are some good, some bad, but if anyone is only doing medicine to show off, then that's shallow.
 
 
 
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