The Student Room Group

Feeling guilty...am I doing something wrong?

There's this guy, and we got along really well before we went to different unis, flirted etc. but it was harmless. Now we're at different unis, and I have been having a bit of a rough time being surrounded by all these stunning girls and constantly being ignored by guys who I'm just trying to be friendly with. :mad:. Generally feeling very unattractive, uninteresting etc.
Anyway, so I have been talking to him a lot (not about the problems I have been having at uni, nobody knows) and have been kind of insinuating that I want to get together with him, although I'm quite sure I don't completely like him this way. And I have been doing it with a friend of his (they're at the same uni together, and if they found out they would just fight with eachother). Should I feel guilty?
I don't think I'm doing anything too terrible, but if I'm honest I'm just acting like this to get compliments and feel attractive. I know I'm giving off the wrong impression, and I especially don't want to ruin their friendship or even to adversely affect their potential relationships with girls at the same uni :confused: .
Not sure if that made sense, but am I basically just being really selfish?!
Reply 1
Ugly guys will go for anything they can get their grubby hands on, stick with them instead of ruining someone elses uni experience.
Reply 2
Err, why are you trying to do that between two friends? Are you deliberately trying to stir? (even though you insist otherwise, why would you bother etc yadda)
Reply 3
Are you gay? Not all the guys will be gay so suss out first who is straight etc!
Reply 4
I honestly don't know. They're not friends per se (I think that was the wrong word), but they knew eachother before they went up to uni and compete with eachother. I don't even think they'd care about me, it would just be another excuse to compete.if that makes sense. Thanks for reiterating my initial feeling (i.e. that I am being a bitch :p:). Do you think I should just clarify that I don't like them, or would that be presumptuous. If only I could hop on a plane to Edinburgh...
Reply 5
bitch or slut whichever you prefer.
Reply 6
What??! :mad: How exactly does that make me a slut? It's not like I'm even going out with both of them or gone on dates with both of them..and even that wouldn't make me a slut. You are harsh.
Reply 7
I understand you situation. Theres no point calling her a bitch or a slut, but IMO you really should cut down this sort of contact, you know yourself why you are doing this, and I know how hard it is to feel unattractive. It is very easy to make yourslef feel much better by behaving as you are, but you have to remember that these are people to and there are only two way this can ultimately end if it continues. 1. they don't reciprocate your flirting or take up on your hints and you feel rejected and even worse about yoursef, or 2. They do reciprocate and you have to upset them. Either way someone is going to get hurt, and I strongly advise you stop before this happens. Maybe there are other ways you can make yourself feel better, take up a new hobby, something like dance, and then as you improve you will get a feeling of self worth. Or try again with the guys you like at uni, some harmless flirting does wonders for the ego :smile:. Good luck!
Reply 8
Anonymous
What??! :mad: How exactly does that make me a slut? It's not like I'm even going out with both of them or gone on dates with both of them..and even that wouldn't make me a slut. You are harsh.


You're in a stage called denial.