The Student Room Group

getting past flirting without just becoming friends?

Basically, i started uni this year, having had a gap year and i've never been particularly confident around guys after being teased quite a lot when i was young. However, on my gap year i never had a problem flirting and messing around abit, but it was only ever a bit of fun.
Now there's a guy at uni who i really quite like, and i'm fairly certain he was interested in me, but because i really like him, i just get completely tongue tied around him and can't say anything, and i'm sure he's going to lose interest, if i don't start regain my ability to say interesting things... (or, anything really...):rolleyes: but apart from that i don't know how to get beyond just mucking around in the bar... i'm scared to ask him out somewhere (it's quite a small hall, so we'd have to see each other all the time, if i've got totally the wrong end of the stick...) and i don't know what to suggest either - i always do this and eventually just kinda become one of the group rather than anything more, and it's really winding me up :frown: How can i get past this, and become more than friends (particularly when i've lost the ability to say anything vaguely intelligent...)
Reply 1
alcohol loosens the tongue

go out to a bar after lectures for a drink

or get a few people to come over to your place (so its not obvious you're just inviting him) and then have a few drinks and a smoke or whatever, little house party u know the score
Reply 2
alcohol doesn't really seem to help alot (partly because i'm even more likely than usual to repeat myself...) and my room's not of the party size. I think i may be doomed to having a huge group of friends that are guys and never actually getting a proper boyfriend...
Reply 3
Anonymous
alcohol doesn't really seem to help alot (partly because i'm even more likely than usual to repeat myself...) and my room's not of the party size. I think i may be doomed to having a huge group of friends that are guys and never actually getting a proper boyfriend...

ahh halls... yeah i live in a shared house which is better for that kind of thing

well, you know if *i* (as a guy at uni) was becoming friends with a girl i met at uni, it would 95% likely be because i wanted her on *some* level in a sexual way... and thats probably true of most guys... so thats working to your advantage atm

so, you know, what have u got to loose? i mean this isnt the school yard anymore. people are hopefully a bit more grown up... unless he is a total dick, he will understand even if he doesnt feel the same way.

but... this is just the ramblings of a guy with no propper friends at uni at all yet so whatever!