I find uni lonely
I'm feeling a bit down because it seems like everyone else has these fantastic social lives and I don't. I'm in my 3rd week of study and although I speak to people in my classes and we get on well we only talk for a few minutes at a time and then the lecture starts and once it finishes we all go off and do our own thing. I talk to people in seminars a lot more than in lectures, but again, they seem to go off and meet other people at the end.
I have been getting friendly with a person who I'm in more classes with than anyone else but today she got chatting with someone else, which is fine, but I didn't feel I could join in (3's a crowd and all that). I suppose this again reiterates how hard it is to make friends.
I've joined societies and met some lovely people so hopefully I'll make friends more easily through that. I think I'm doing all the right things by getting involved and being open and friendly...I don't want pity and it's not like I'm sitting in my room all the time not wanting to get involved so there's no need for anyone to tell me to join societies and stop moping around...I think I just need reassuring that I will eventually meet some friends who I click with, at the moment I'm a bit lonely.
Anyone else feel like me? 2nd and 3rd years, how did you meet people?
I have been getting friendly with a person who I'm in more classes with than anyone else but today she got chatting with someone else, which is fine, but I didn't feel I could join in (3's a crowd and all that). I suppose this again reiterates how hard it is to make friends.
I've joined societies and met some lovely people so hopefully I'll make friends more easily through that. I think I'm doing all the right things by getting involved and being open and friendly...I don't want pity and it's not like I'm sitting in my room all the time not wanting to get involved so there's no need for anyone to tell me to join societies and stop moping around...I think I just need reassuring that I will eventually meet some friends who I click with, at the moment I'm a bit lonely.
Anyone else feel like me? 2nd and 3rd years, how did you meet people?
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I feel like that a lot. There's uni friends and then friends and they're kept separate. Except i don't have many of the ones outside uni. Perhaps suggest to the people at the end of a lecture going for a drink(as that's what students do) or going for lunch some time. I guess you could invite them around to your place, but that's a bit dull. Or just ask if you can join their night out. Sometimes you've just got to put it on the line and i'm beginning to learn that. But the societies is a good idea and i really need to join some too. Bonds take time to form so don't expect miracles after 3 weeks, but i should hope you're close with a few people in your halls.
It sounds like youre doing all the right things! next time youre talking to someone in a lecture, why dont you suggest going for a drink/lunch/to town after the lecture? if they say theyre busy, arrange something for another time. i met a lot of people just by doing that! i also met a lot of people at parties in the first year! i find that im still making new friends and meeting new people, even now, and im in my 3rd year.
G4ry
I feel like that a lot. There's uni friends and then friends and they're kept separate. Except i don't have many of the ones outside uni. Perhaps suggest to the people at the end of a lecture going for a drink(as that's what students do) or going for lunch some time. I guess you could invite them around to your place, but that's a bit dull. Or just ask if you can join their night out. Sometimes you've just got to put it on the line and i'm beginning to learn that. But the societies is a good idea and i really need to join some too. Bonds take time to form so don't expect miracles after 3 weeks, but i should hope you're close with a few people in your halls.
Yeah I'm actually quite good friends with a couple of people in halls so that's good, though the person I'm friendliest with has his own group of friends here already (he's from the area) so I feel a bit awkward for tagging along on nights out. I may suggest going to the cinema or something with the other person I'm friends with when he goes on one of his nights out because we seem to have a lot in common. I have considered asking if I could join course people's night out, I suppose once time goes on it will get easier to do things like that.
I unavoidably missed a couple of society social things recently so I think this is why I'm a bit disheartened at the moment!
I'm in a situation like yours, I mean some days are really boring / isolating and I think why am I here? - I could be doing this at home and mixing with more familiar people!
But I've discussed it with a few of my flatmates and we all feel the same really, we have put it down to the hall being crap - no sense of community and everyone keeps themselves to themselves really.
Things haven't been helped by the fact that 2/5 of my flatmates now work nights together and the other one spends a good deal of time with her bf in her room, and the other flatmate isn't really that social yet - and the other guy just finds the place too dull / boring so always pops off to his mates accommodation block... yesterday I joked with one of them saying how quiet it was when this is meant to be party central - but maybe I just had the wrong idea about uni life...
but anyway it's not all bad, I do mix with people from my course and do my best to socialise round my flatmates but I guess it's ok for me as I already knew someone who went to this uni (a second year, so just hang round with him and his mates).
But back to you, things just don't happen overnight and uni is hard work, you just got to make a really effort with everyone and throw yourself out there. Remember it's still fairly early too, so not everyone will have adjusted yet.
You're not alone....
But I've discussed it with a few of my flatmates and we all feel the same really, we have put it down to the hall being crap - no sense of community and everyone keeps themselves to themselves really.
Things haven't been helped by the fact that 2/5 of my flatmates now work nights together and the other one spends a good deal of time with her bf in her room, and the other flatmate isn't really that social yet - and the other guy just finds the place too dull / boring so always pops off to his mates accommodation block... yesterday I joked with one of them saying how quiet it was when this is meant to be party central - but maybe I just had the wrong idea about uni life...
but anyway it's not all bad, I do mix with people from my course and do my best to socialise round my flatmates but I guess it's ok for me as I already knew someone who went to this uni (a second year, so just hang round with him and his mates).
But back to you, things just don't happen overnight and uni is hard work, you just got to make a really effort with everyone and throw yourself out there. Remember it's still fairly early too, so not everyone will have adjusted yet.
You're not alone....
I totally sympathise with you. Im in my 4th week and while I feel like "yes theres this set group of people I can go out with" I am not entirely sure whether any of them feel like we're really friends. Some have made really tight knit friendships amongst each other and some are dating but I dont feel that close with any of them
I notice a lot of people hang around in groups outside their flats, try bringing over a 6 pack and introducing yourself - everyone is friendly when they're drunk - and next time you see them sober just say hi. you occasionally find some are on your course too and you can arrange to walk to Uni together and what not
I notice a lot of people hang around in groups outside their flats, try bringing over a 6 pack and introducing yourself - everyone is friendly when they're drunk - and next time you see them sober just say hi. you occasionally find some are on your course too and you can arrange to walk to Uni together and what not
Neverendingroses
I totally sympathise with you. Im in my 4th week and while I feel like "yes theres this set group of people I can go out with" I am not entirely sure whether any of them feel like we're really friends. Some have made really tight knit friendships amongst each other and some are dating but I dont feel that close with any of them
I notice a lot of people hang around in groups outside their flats, try bringing over a 6 pack and introducing yourself - everyone is friendly when they're drunk - and next time you see them sober just say hi. you occasionally find some are on your course too and you can arrange to walk to Uni together and what not
I notice a lot of people hang around in groups outside their flats, try bringing over a 6 pack and introducing yourself - everyone is friendly when they're drunk - and next time you see them sober just say hi. you occasionally find some are on your course too and you can arrange to walk to Uni together and what not
Those tight-knit friendships probably wont be so tight by the end of the year! the best friends ive made at uni are people i met later on in the year. i find people tended to just make friends with the first people they met as they didnt want to be alone. im also sure that the people that are dating each other probably wont be by the end of the year! good friendships take time, you cant expect to feel that close to people that youve only known for a few weeks.
Thats the problem I'm having. I didn't want to latch on to people just for the sake of friendship, but now everyone else is all buddy buddy and I just feel kinda left out, I mean I can go out with them, and I get on with people on my course and stuff, but i dont think i really realised how much my friends supported me, and how hard it would be to find good strong friendship, i knew it wouldnt be instantaneous but did not ecpect this. But I've auditioned for a play and I'm doing a few clubs so I'm sure it will pick up. I had a bit of a breakdown yesterday, just all got too much, but I know it will get better 
.
.Anonymous
Thats the problem I'm having. I didn't want to latch on to people just for the sake of friendship, but now everyone else is all buddy buddy and I just feel kinda left out, I mean I can go out with them, and I get on with people on my course and stuff, but i dont think i really realised how much my friends supported me, and how hard it would be to find good strong friendship, i knew it wouldnt be instantaneous but did not ecpect this. But I've auditioned for a play and I'm doing a few clubs so I'm sure it will pick up. I had a bit of a breakdown yesterday, just all got too much, but I know it will get better .
.i feel the same way, although i have made very few friends that i dont see often, they are still not close friends.
What I find most frustrating is that whenever I do meet people I really click with we somehow never see each other again. It's like they all fall into some black hole or something!
Another thing, I feel I'm doing well with the social side of things until other people in my hall make plans and I have no-one to go out with. I think I perhaps compare myself to other people too much rather than just concentrating on my personal development. Hmm.
Tomorrow's target: get talking to at least one new person in my tutorial.
Another thing, I feel I'm doing well with the social side of things until other people in my hall make plans and I have no-one to go out with. I think I perhaps compare myself to other people too much rather than just concentrating on my personal development. Hmm.
Tomorrow's target: get talking to at least one new person in my tutorial.
I know how you feel.
I talk to the people in my flat but I don't know anyone on my course and now they're all in groups and won't sit by you in lectures.
I talk to the people in my flat but I don't know anyone on my course and now they're all in groups and won't sit by you in lectures.
I know how you feel.
I talk to the people in my flat but I don't know anyone on my course and now they're all in groups and won't sit by you in lectures.
I talk to the people in my flat but I don't know anyone on my course and now they're all in groups and won't sit by you in lectures.
icantthinkofacoolusername
I know how you feel.
I talk to the people in my flat but I don't know anyone on my course and now they're all in groups and won't sit by you in lectures.
I talk to the people in my flat but I don't know anyone on my course and now they're all in groups and won't sit by you in lectures.
its the opposite 4me
icantthinkofacoolusername
I know how you feel.
I talk to the people in my flat but I don't know anyone on my course and now they're all in groups and won't sit by you in lectures.
I talk to the people in my flat but I don't know anyone on my course and now they're all in groups and won't sit by you in lectures.
You can always go sit next to them. It's so funny though, in lectures people always leave a seat between themself and the other person if they don't know them and if you sit right next to someone they go all weird and aren't comfortable with it. It's a bit sad that it's like that really.
Anonymous
its the opposite 4me
same here, im not really friendly with people in my halls at all, they seem to ignore me, but on my course i have a few friends now
Anonymous
I'm feeling a bit down because it seems like everyone else has these fantastic social lives and I don't. I'm in my 3rd week of study and although I speak to people in my classes and we get on well we only talk for a few minutes at a time and then the lecture starts and once it finishes we all go off and do our own thing. I talk to people in seminars a lot more than in lectures, but again, they seem to go off and meet other people at the end.
I have been getting friendly with a person who I'm in more classes with than anyone else but today she got chatting with someone else, which is fine, but I didn't feel I could join in (3's a crowd and all that). I suppose this again reiterates how hard it is to make friends.
I've joined societies and met some lovely people so hopefully I'll make friends more easily through that. I think I'm doing all the right things by getting involved and being open and friendly...I don't want pity and it's not like I'm sitting in my room all the time not wanting to get involved so there's no need for anyone to tell me to join societies and stop moping around...I think I just need reassuring that I will eventually meet some friends who I click with, at the moment I'm a bit lonely.
Anyone else feel like me? 2nd and 3rd years, how did you meet people?
I have been getting friendly with a person who I'm in more classes with than anyone else but today she got chatting with someone else, which is fine, but I didn't feel I could join in (3's a crowd and all that). I suppose this again reiterates how hard it is to make friends.
I've joined societies and met some lovely people so hopefully I'll make friends more easily through that. I think I'm doing all the right things by getting involved and being open and friendly...I don't want pity and it's not like I'm sitting in my room all the time not wanting to get involved so there's no need for anyone to tell me to join societies and stop moping around...I think I just need reassuring that I will eventually meet some friends who I click with, at the moment I'm a bit lonely.
Anyone else feel like me? 2nd and 3rd years, how did you meet people?
i'm in second year and i still have that problem. i'm friends iwth everyone on my course (there are only about 60 of us...small course) but its the same as you... i talk with them in class, and then afterwards, everybody goes off to do their own thing. i gave up on them.
i'm just lucky that i got on sooooo well with my 1st year flatmates (And im living with them again this year) they are my closest friends at university. i'm afraid i can't offer any advice as i'm in the same situation as you
i've been blessed pretty but been made as shy as they come and CANNOT make small talk or engage people in conversation very well. i think the only way out of our situation is to really put your foot down and tell yourself to stop being shy/scared and just throw yourselves into conversations whether there are already 2 people talking and you feel like a 3rd person. throw yourself in and you could get stuck right in there i suppose.
icantthinkofacoolusername
I know how you feel.
I talk to the people in my flat but I don't know anyone on my course and now they're all in groups and won't sit by you in lectures.
I talk to the people in my flat but I don't know anyone on my course and now they're all in groups and won't sit by you in lectures.
dittoMy bf tells me that my problem is that I worry about not making friends, so get too worked up and stuff, and that it will come in time and I just have to let it take it's course, so I'm going to try and do that a bit more , I have only just finished my freshers week, so theres still plenty of time for me.
And I am throwing myself inot, striking up conversations with randoms, bizarrely i find that muuuuch easier than talking to hall mates or course mates.
, I have only just finished my freshers week, so theres still plenty of time for me.And I am throwing myself inot, striking up conversations with randoms, bizarrely i find that muuuuch easier than talking to hall mates or course mates.
Anonymous
same here, im not really friendly with people in my halls at all, they seem to ignore me, but on my course i have a few friends now
well atleast they dont kick ur door
G4ry
You can always go sit next to them. It's so funny though, in lectures people always leave a seat between themself and the other person if they don't know them and if you sit right next to someone they go all weird and aren't comfortable with it. It's a bit sad that it's like that really.
Exactly - if you sit down on your own they leave a really big gap between you and because they do it they think you're wierd if you sit right next to them
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